Just a little confused
So in the few years dh and I have been together things have been pretty much the same with routine an what not with sd when we have her. This weekend that just past she was with bm the previous weekend was a shit show. I could NOT wait for our weekend alone. So it came along. We went away over night just the 3 of us. Dh dd and I. But then Saturday night he picks up the phone and called sd. Just to talk. Wtf? That's great call your kid. But why all of a sudden? In the few years we have been together I have never heard him call her ever. He would see her on his days and that would be it. Also the weekend past that she was over he was completely all about her. No body else existed. Ya know what I'll admit it, I can't stand it. But at the same time great! She's your daughter. Again I'm just confused cause I've never seen him show interest. EVER. So my question is... What do you think is making the change?? And also I keep thinking about the time he told me "I do t even know how she could be mine, the timing of the pregnancy makes no sense" and he did tell me he thought about finding out for sure. But can't go they with it. And at times that's what makes me wonder if that's why he doesn't show interest cause he has that thought in his mind that she isn't his. But he's doing what he has to. And maybe that's why i feel she isn't. 1) wishful thinking. 2) he DID say that to me himself 3) she is bm twin and til this day we can't see ANY thing AT ALL that resembles dh a few people have pulled me aside and have asked if she was even his.
I want to ask him about what
I want to ask him about what he said to me a few years ago about sd. Would that be wrong? I mean HE mentioned it to me on his own in the past
So Mommy's genes won -
So Mommy's genes won - doesn't mean a thing - she's a girl.
As kids get older and non-custodial fathers become less naïve about how things work the fathers can rightfully become concerned that they, like so many others, will hear those agony causing words "I don't want to visit you anymore".
Think about your kid saying "I want to live with Daddy". Only when you're a non-custody parent it can easily come to pass - in fact it probably will - is just a question of when.
Leave him alone and let him deal with his kid - it really doesn't matter if you don't fully understand. You're not male, you're not a non-custody parent and you don't have either Mommy or kid as a spouse or offspring to deal with.
as long as you're still
as long as you're still getting enough of his time/attention, I don't see a problem. maybe the problem is how every other weekend is strictly about sd? maybe you're afraid EVERY weekend is going to be about her? you so look forward to your alone weekends and now he's bring her into it? what is going on on those visitation weekends? do you and your child cease to exist? my dh tried this until I forced the normal home routine on those weekends. this house doesn't turn into Disney land when skids arrive. if we have something planned, fine, but as a rule, weekends are our time to play catch up from a long work week whether skids are here or not. maybe we'll take a couple hours and go for a walk or an ice cream, but it's pretty much a normal weekend. there are responsibilities as a family we have whether skids are here or not. skids are not special guests that you get to see once a year, they are here every other weekend, vacations and times in between. the only way to have a cohesive family including skids is to include skids in normal activities the FAMILY has. oh, and kids do not get to determine what the adults decide to do. they do not get to decide what/where to eat. how do you skid weekends typically go? what do you need to change? I think you're clinging to the possibility that sd is not his? prob not likely and even if it were, prob wouldn't change anything. look for the REAL problem.
I can kind of see how you
I can kind of see how you feel. We have skids two or three days during the week from the time they get off the school bus till about 6 or so and EOW. When we went away for our one year wedding anniversary DH called them every night and a couple times during the day. The calls were short and didn't really take time away from us, but still I was left thinking 'THIS IS OUR ANNIVERSARY WEEKEND. WHY CAN'T YOU GO A FEW DAYS AND NOT DRAG THEM INTO OUR FUN TIME????'. I didn't say anything and it wasn't really a hill to die on, but I felt annoyed anyway.
All this was about was how I
All this was about was how I was confused how t goes from him doing nothing with her. Literally. To all of a sudden calling her when she's wth bm to see how's she's doing. I wondered this because it was a drastic change from NEVER , at least in the few years we have been together called her when she was with bm and not going out with her to all of a sudden him doing it. A few of you that comment on my post I swear your so quick to bash me.