Its me again, sorry for so many posts...question about facebook.
If you have read my last post you will know DH's family is treating us pretty crappy these days. Well I noticed last night a couple of them posting things on Facebook that were obviously intended for me to read...even though they have issues with DH too, they know that I am the ONLY one with the Facebook. They also know how fragile I am with the anxiety/panic and PTSD. I could not sleep last night and thank God my little sister is a night owl (no kids yet lol) as her and I had a really wonderful talk on the phone last night.
My sister taught me how to keep them on my Facebook but not to see any of their posts in my news feed and how to set my Facebook on accustomed settings so that they can't read the stuff I post. Ok I am fine with that but what I had wanted to do was just drop them off my friends list. I just want them out of my life, my sister says not to do that yet since they are family and what if they come back into our lives....my thing is if they are going to treat me this way, why share my life with them. Why share my pictures of my babies with them?
What do you all think? Keep it on the privacy settings my sister helped me set up OR delete the assholes?
Thank you step talk for ALL you have done for me and DH, I have shared a lot with DH as he feels he learns a lot from you guys too. I think God had me stumble to this page. Also I have made a great friend on here that I already cant live with out so thank you. Thoughts and prayers sent to each and every one of you who have reached out to help me.
Delete them and block them
Delete them and block them from finding you on facebook. They are toxic ! Even if things change in the future you can re-think this decision any time. It is just too tempting to look - which will only cause you more stress.
I did that with my 2 SD's and am VERY GLAD I did it.
I just posted this today...I
I just posted this today...I know sinking to their level but I had to for my own enjoyment. Keep in mind I never do this on facebook.
I posted this:
For the record...I am a stand by your man type of girl and my husband is my rock. Disrespect him anymore and you will be gone from my Facebook. He has been through enough.
I ended up editing my own
I ended up editing my own facebook post to just say the first sentence. I started getting questions from others not involved.
Do yourself a favor , don't
Do yourself a favor , don't post on FB ~ post here where you have support.
Your right Facebook is
Your right Facebook is evil...I try to weed out people as time goes by just because I do post a lot about my little family but I do it for my parents since they are 3 hours away and don't get to see us often and miss us. That way I keep them informed. I also have some great friends on there...if it weren't for those two things I would not have Facebook at all.
Facebook ~ the detriment if
Facebook ~ the detriment if social media ~ pesky little bugger.
I too have blocked SD n BM n some other family member due to the nature of the beast. I am who I am ~ I will no longer give those trolls and more to encourage their vile behaviors. The only reason they are looking ~ is to look for more trouble in my life. They no longer need to see what I am up to ~ that's the simple reason I have disengaged. If you disengage from their lives ~ why would you allow them to view your life. Judgement will rear it's ugly head.
I got off FB. These toxic
I got off FB. These toxic people are not our friends, so why pretend?
True and I have deactivated
True and I have deactivated my facebook in the past however, I have my parents on there that love to see what is going on in their only Grandchildrens lives and I have some really close friends that I cant live with out and extended family who love me so I like to keep it. I think I just need to weed out people I did that before and got rid of like 40 people on my facebook a few months ago and I didn't care if they were family or not and got rid of people I don't even speak to.
I am going to delete them. I posted to see if I was being irrational considering what my sister said, she is young and inexperienced with family drama and has no clue what its like to be a step parent so that's why I came on here and it seems you all agree with me to get rid of the toxic ones. I will.
I deleted SDIL about 18
I deleted SDIL about 18 months ago because she used FB to try to show how I was not part of the family. I have never regretted it. Wish I had done it sooner
I think FB can be useful if
I think FB can be useful if it's used mindfully.
While my SD's are not nasty or toxic, I don't appreciate seeing pictures of them and their BM appear in my newsfeed...or sometimes what they are up to as it often triggers me.......so I just hid their status's coming through my feed.
We often use FB to communicate and at times in the past there has been a lot of commenting/liking on each others' posts...so I'm hesitant to delete them completely.
But for now I'm just disengaging somewhat. I go through phases with who I want on FB and of late I have been wanting to share more personal stuff- so have deleted a bunch of people (who I never interact with) and then made about half just acquaintences and when I post I can make sure I can have complete control over who sees what.
If you have a somewhat toxic relationship with your skids I'd most definitely be deleting them.
I did that, I have the custom
I did that, I have the custom setting on and I took my sister in laws and all of that family off of custom and also added acquaintances too. I get the same way you do and get my moments too. I am more personal about stuff on facebook with my parents being further away and I have their only grandbabies so they know what is going on. I also spend time with certain people on private messages and that's why it is hard to get rid of facebook all together. Makes me kind of miss the older days when there wasn't so much technology out there.
As far as toxic SD19 and her BM...they are both blocked and off my facebook. Also put a block on SD's boyfriend. I have had them off for some time now. Since August.
I've been pretty ambivalent
I've been pretty ambivalent about FB. With lots of moves in my life, many people have come and gone. FB has been very healing for me because I've gotten in touch with people who just fell off the face of the earth after a move. That's why I don't like to leave it. I actually love updates and pictures about people I care about but am not in close contact with.
On the other hand, I have had some of DHs family be PA toward me on FB. I pretty much drew back from them and block their posts. I was tempted to get off FB altogether but decided I'd keep FB because I didn't want to let people acting like jerks influence my decision.
I have thought about opening up another page with just close family and friends though.
Delete and block the ones who
Delete and block the ones who are being real shit stirrers. I chose to do this with my step children...because bm had complete access to me through my Facebook. It took them awhile to figure out they were blocked. at first they thought i deleted my account. bm emailed me and attempted to rip me a new one about not being fb friends with them. I'm a live out loud kind of person, on top of being transferred away from my friends and family due to dh's career. Facebook is my lifeline. And I'm not that interesting, really, but it's my life and my page and they were trolling me, never saying anything or commenting, just being voyeurs. The rest, some of dh's family, I will just block from some posts.
Omg, FB is the devil for me
Omg, FB is the devil for me where SK are concerned!! I love FB for connecting to far flung friends and family. However, since disengagement, it's been dicey. I don't have the balls to unfriend my SD so I've just restricted her access to my page so she can only see what a stranger can see. My SSs GF unfriended me on FB a while back. I couldn't believe it since she and I hardly know each other but she's been pumped full from SD so that explains it.
Well after spending an entire
Well after spending an entire weekend taking care of two super sick kiddos and having constant attacks on facebook messaging and email and then noticing that SIL deleted me...I chose to delete the whole clan. Should have did it when DH wanted me to but I thought of the young nieces and nephews who are innocent in this and didn't want to not see their pictures and stuff so I didn't delete BUT after all this, I did. I can not put myself under that kind of pressure anymore. My heart hurts so bad and today I cried so hard that I just cant anymore. Family or not, if they are being toxic then its time to let them go. I really need to learn how to listen to my DH.
I have been through hell and back in the past 4 years. DH and our children have been through the same hell and not doing it anymore. Just done.
SD19 has won his side of the family and she can just kiss mine and DH's ass. So can they.
Harsh I know, but really this is just dumb and I am just so tired. They always throw the blood card and in my opinion....Blood is NOT thicker then water. I was not raised that way, if you have close friends you consider them family, the people my siblings have married are brothers and sisters to me blood or not. DHs family well they are different. Obviously I was not raised to think of only blood being family as I fully gave my step daughters nothing but motherly love and SD19 well she strayed and wanted to so I am just done. Thanks for listening. Thanks for all the advice.
Ugh. Facebook. I just
Ugh. Facebook. I just deactivated mine. I hate that I can't keep in touch with my own family so easily any more but they are part of the problem. Tired of seeing my SD20 kiss up to them because it's so close to Christmas. I think she misses the money and gifts they used to send her before she stood at the end of my driveway and yelled obscenities at me. It's been a while now, and she has apologized but I can't get over it that easily and am extremely ticked off that my own family still have her as a "friend." I have never said anything to them about it, though and don't know if I should.
Get them all off your
Get them all off your Facebook, no reason to have people on there that put you down, cause you anxiety, I have had the most nasty things said about me on Facebook that my fiancée wanted me to go to the police, He has 5 Adult children, and only 1 has ever shown me any respect, the other 4 have never accepted me, we have been together for 5 years and stronger than ever, just concentrate on the good things and people in your life, we both got rid of them all a long time ago off our Facebook
do not just delete BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK the disrespectful shits