How to not give a s$&@?
Unfortunately, I am going to be at a party where dh's ex and her spouse will be guests also. Yuck!!!!!! I know I know......don't let it bother you. I am going to be totally blunt, and I may sound shallow, but since the last time I saw her, which was only once, I looked pretty good. Now, three years later, I have gained about 40 pounds and feel 40 years older too! She is a huge narcissist, who spends all her money and energy into pampering herself, and she looks it. Me, I drive an old car, and shop at target these days. My two oldest are in college, and dh still pays plenty for his Ex daughter. I like the term, it fits them well.
And last I saw the ex, she ran out of the coffee shop we were out.....I had confronted her about her behavior and she had no answers. Of course next day, she wrote email to my dh lambasting me.......and of course dh did respond, really infuriating. That will be the last I defend him ever.
But anyway, how do I not give a shit??? I want to say basically F$&@ it, but I get some anxiety thinking about walking in there and seeing her sneer.......
Meant to say dh did NOT
Meant to say dh did NOT respond to her letter stabbing me in the back. I had met her to discuss issues and she wound up accusing my dh of years of psychological abuse. I then confronted her about the court motion on our wedding day. She stammered a bit, and then ran out.......like a dog with its tail between its legs. Of course she now hates me..........
Omg... The second coming part
Omg... The second coming part totally made me laugh.
Well, dh is very close with
Well, dh is very close with this couple. Before my marriage, I heard from the wife that dh's ex was loud, always yelling and the dsughters were the same. Dh and I get married, they attend our wedding, and they do know all the sordid facts and now I understand that this woman and ex are buddy buddy again. My opinion of this woman took a nose dive fast! I am forced to attend, and I do think I should go. Honestly, I should sneer right back at the ex!
You're a grown woman... No
You're a grown woman... No one can force you to go or do anything.
If you go and have a miserable time, it's partly your fault then too.
Yes you are right!
Yes you are right! Lol........look, dh has very few friends, and he expects to go with me. I respect that and I do think I should go. Just how to handle my emotions and not feel so stressed. Honestly, if I had not put on thus weight I would feel more comfortable going. Yes I do have time to lose some weight. It ain't easy!!!
Seriously, cut out sugar.
Seriously, cut out sugar. It's hard, but if you cut out sugar it will make losing weight a lot easier. When I need to lose a few pounds fast - I cut out sugar.
Great great idea!! With all
Great great idea!! With all the wine I will be consuming, how hard is it to get your panties down fast to pee??!! Lol........i need butt control!
I personally would also pass
I personally would also pass on this party. Enjoy some time with a great bottle of wine and a book. In the past, BM has invited my DH to stuff - we both refused.
As for you feeling less glamorous than her, give yourself a break. It may be a competition to the ex, but thinking the same way she does will only exhaust you.
IMHO, what makes a person radiate is the ability to see how happy they are. Happiness is the most beautiful attribute a person can have - not over indulgence in a spa or fancy clothes.
I will go, and look very
I will go, and look very happy! To me, that is the way I need to handle it.......does it matter what that b$&@ thinks of me? This is not a competition. Too much of my life has been taken up with this crap. She and her spawn mean nothing to me. I need to get a pair of testicles! I handled myself very very well in our meeting. I can do it again.
Then go and be and look
Then go and be and look happy! You need to be very put together, and feel good about yourself.
It is not about the weight, it is about the energy you bring.
There is a woman i admire who works for the local branch of my bank. She is the best-dressed, coiffed, put together lady i have EVER seen in my day to day life - and she keeps it up over time. I have watched her shine over many years now. She is heavy - i would guess above 200 lb - but you should see how she lights up the room. She is her own best creation: from short, spiked, absolutely white hair to multiple silver earrings and rings, to the outfits which are all masterpieces of taste and color coordination. Self-conscious? trying to blend in? Not her... I think she should quit her job at the bank and become a stylist! Her life is not all peaches and cream either, I have known her when she had just gone through a divorce, and was having a hard time coping - but you could not tell by looking at her! She prefers bright colors - or black with all kinds trim, lots of accessories, very cool hairstyle... Plus she has a big personality to match her clothes -- and at times her cowboy boots! She is a sight for sore eyes! Whenever i see her, my mood lifts.
So go if you must but dress to kill
so that you feel good, look good, smell good and then have a blast! Good luck!
easy....just don't give a
easy....just don't give a s**t...its that simple....
Let this day be known as the
Let this day be known as the day no shits were given.
*giggles*
*giggles*
AMEN!....no shits given here!
AMEN!....no shits given here! }:)
Get a great pair of Spanx...
Get a great pair of Spanx... Buy off the manican-- a full outfit... Hair apt... Nails... And a massage! If you HAVE TO GO... Go feeling awesome.
& take a cab so you & hubs can both drink!
Also another thing I do when I'm around bio or ex.. It's weird but I won't wear my glasses or contacts. I SEE every glance... Stare... Whatever & it just works me up. With 1/2 the sight I just come off unaffected & unaware they are looking, are close... Haha. Weird. I know. It helps me tho.
Cool trick! New way to use
Cool trick! New way to use your weakness and turn it into your strength!
Great idea, Bradymom!
lol!
lol!
Perhaps you are coming down
Perhaps you are coming down with a cold? Hmmmmm
Try one contact. Haha
Try one contact. Haha
i am in the group who thinks
i am in the group who thinks you dont need to attend the party. offer some other excuse.
why expose yourself to all that stress and headache?
i am in the group who thinks
i am in the group who thinks you dont need to attend the party. offer some other excuse.
why expose yourself to all that stress and headache?
Oh, I hear you. I am
Oh, I hear you. I am seriously considering trying to deploy again in March (I just got back in October) just so I don't have to face BM at SD17's graduation. I've been ignoring the bitch for 5 years now, and don't know how I'm going to get through this event.
Dh will never fall for that!
Dh will never fall for that! No I need to go and act like I do not give a rat's ass about her. In fact the happier I look and the more cuddly I am with dh should be just fine. After all, she raged about our wedding day , no? Yes she does not want him, but it pissed the witch off for someone's else to have him!!
On the way to party... Go by
On the way to party... Go by the adult store & buy a remote control toy for both u & the hubs... With all the "tension" you are sure to be heading home sooner than later!!!
Just a thought.
Haha! I love it! Give DH a
Haha! I love it! Give DH a good reason to hurry home.
Bradymom, you are a genius!!
Well if ya have to go... Make
Well if ya have to go... Make it short right?
THAT>>>> I also wear an
THAT>>>> I also wear an engagement ring that is worth $55,0000 <<<<< is an expensive ring...
^^^^I wear one
^^^^I wear one too!...kidding. :jawdrop:
You are my kinda hot
You are my kinda hot confident chick! Love it!!! Be kind, be real, be confident and your life is a beacon of light to the World
Keep shining!
You are not alone! My MIL
You are not alone! My MIL that I used to do flips for is alienating my skids away from me and even trying to set my hubby up with hookers! So, yeah, it gets worse haha BUT_ the more idiocies they do, the more my hubs gets closer to me because I treat him like a king and no drama- men hate drama (most do anyways).
Preach it, sister! A woman
Preach it, sister! A woman after my own heart! Too bad we do not post pictures on ST.
I would love to see the outfit you describe.
Karmaqueen, you need to write a book based on your experiences.
I bet your favorite thrift stores would carry it with pride.
Simple. Remember 2 things: 1.
Simple. Remember 2 things:
1. It's not what he MISSES about her, it's what he DOES NOT miss about her...
2. Your husband loves you because you are a good person and you treat him well, not because you look like a narcissistic mannequin
Now put your sweetest smile on and just be his sweet arm-candy the entire party
You can always message us with updates from the bathroom stall if she chooses to bully you
Thank you for all the advice!
Thank you for all the advice! I will go, because I will feel like a coward if I do not. I probably will feel incredibly anxious going there. I am not into confrontation. However, neither is she. She is a coward, and just like a step ford wife. Pretty to look at, but nothing underneath, including a heart and kindness. So, once we notice each other there, I will feel much better. It will be over and I can maybe enjoy the rest if the night, or at least my wine! And no, I am not rushing out on a starvation diet, or to buy new clothes, because that WOULD be giving her control over me.
I think it will be interesting to see my dh, his ex, and her spouse in the same room. She knows she has the upper hand, but she hated him getting married because she lost some, not all control over him. She had never had to share him with anyone before. Interesting that her long time boyfriend, now hubby, has no kids or ex. She could never tolerate I think.
Did I say it will be fascinating once the evening begins? And yes I will post a blow by blow report for all you wonderful ladies!