So now...
...SD14 thinks she wants to be a model! She filled this stupid thing out at the mall, and now someone is calling her saying there are auditions THIS Saturday, etc. SD14 is at her cousins, so now she is texting DH begging him to take her to the auditions! Dance, cheerleading, choir, theater, color guard...can she just stick to one thing? Oh, she has to be the CENTER of attention...I forgot! Here we go...she's gonna start looking online how to be a model and try to get us to take her for expensive head shots...oh, and even more reason to continue on with her eating disorder...gotta be super skinny! Ugh! She is so full of herself! Let's not forget, hair extensions for her thinning hair (because she already has symptoms of malnutrition), then she will want veneers to fix the gaps in her teeth and that one tooth that came in smaller than the others, etc. Then, there will probably be some agent stringing her along and expecting money (because these things that advertise at the mall like this are never free), only for her to not get any jobs because she is too short, etc.
I flat out told DH, we have too much to do this Saturday in preparation for our vacation, seeing as next Saturday we have my son's college visit, and the Saturday after that is right befor we leave, so will be spent packing. Not to mention, I'm so tired of SD14 getting into this crap and then me having to figure out the budget around her and her latest "look at me" adventure!
I'm glad you aren't my
I'm glad you aren't my daughter's sm. Why are you telling your dh this can't happen, and giving one of the reasons as YOUR son's college visit? Step out of the way and let dh do it or not. You sound jealous. And controlling.
You don't get it! SD14 is in
You don't get it! SD14 is in to something new every time we turn around! You obviously have not read any of my other posts! She will get into something, tons of money is spent, then she jumps to something else...and it is only the things that puts her as the center of attention. Then, I have to listen to months of "I'm so great at_______; I'm the best one at ________!" She very self centered...and I have to hear it so much because she has to tell everyone this...even people at church she hardly knows!
So far this school year, we have spent three times the amount of money on her than my son...and my son is a senior! We've spent more time on her activities than my son's. There is no jealousy...she simply doesn't think about anyone but herself and what she wants to do, and everyone Better come see her at every event or she gets all butt hurt!
And did you miss that she already has an eating disorder that DH refuses to acknowledge? And he is supposed to just let her do this modeling stuff which will only promote it more? Yes, the college visit is a good excuse! DH adopted my son, which makes DH just as responsible for him as SD14. DH also needs to be there to help evaluate the school, the coaches, etc. And if I leave him to go alone, he will cave and sign whatever, and we will end up committed to more money that will end up coming out of my money (because he already has more expenses with him and SD14 than I do, and it is more than he makes...and I cover all for BS19 and any of DH's excess because he lets the princess have whatever she wants)...and because I work from home, I'll be expected to take her here and there...not asked.
She constantly lies and sneaks around...defies house rules...you think she is ever punished? At 14, she has already gotten into trouble for alcohol at school, sneaking out of the house to smoke pot, and skipping school to smoke pot. The last is what got her kicked out of BM's house to move here, and DH only talked to her...said he wasn't going to punish her because she didn't do it at our house! She has been caught in lies, even lies about stupid stuff, like a cup of milk left in the TV room that we all saw her with! We discussed her lying today, and DH basically used the excuse AGAIN that SD14 just doesn't know better! She doesn't know that she is supposed to tell the truth?!? She hasn't been punished for anything since living with us...not for lying, not for blatantly disobeying....nothing. She gets talks! Yet, if my son doesn't come straight home from work, well he must be up to no good, though he hasn't given us any reason to not trust him, and he is legally an adult!
It sounds to me like DH is
It sounds to me like DH is the problem, NOT sd. I don't take comments about eating disorders seriously in situations like this, because of the NUMEROUS accusations and questions I dealt with growing up about me possibly having an eating disorder. And that was from my own flesh and blood mom! Also, you referred to your son as "my son" not "ours."
I agree that DH is PART of
I agree that DH is PART of the problem...so is BM. However, SD14 chooses to treat people the way she does. She has had enough positive influence in her life and enough bad reactions from her peers to know that the way she treats people is wrong. She has been taught over the course of her life by school teachers and Sunday school teachers that lying is wrong. I have been in her life since she was one, so I know all of this for a fact. She lived with us for a spell when when she was in early grade school...again, because her mother couldn't deal with her any longer...and I would hear from teachers how SD14 didn't have any friends, how they were concerned about how bossy she was with the other kids. BD22 and BS19 would complain to me all the time how SD14 would just barge into their rooms when they were younger and try to boss them around, and then get very upset when they didn't want to do things their way. There were many talks with SD14 as she was growing up as to the correct way to treat people, that she could just demand things be her way and then throw a fit when they weren't. But to this day she CHOOSES to treat people like they are below her. It amazing she has any friends, because she talks crap about everyone behind their backs, so much so that when she says she is spending the night at ______'s house, I'm confused because just days before she was talking all kinds of crap about the girl.
And yes, I refer to BS19 as my son, as to not confuse folks that, though DH adopted my kids, they are not his flesh and blood...because, though he is a man that talks equal treatment of the kids, he doesn't truly believe it. When BD22 and BS19 were younger, if they said anything disrespectful to me, he would jump their case about it. SD14 can sit there and yell at me, and DH sits on the couch in front of the TV and does nothing! BD22 and BS19 have done lesser things in the past, and got worse punishment that SD14 has gotten for much worse things. And like I mentioned, though BS19 is legally and adult and has NEVER given us any reason to not trust him, DH is ALWAYS questioning if BS19 is being truthful with us when he says he is doing X or going over to Y...whereas SD14 and all the lies she has been caught in and all the things she has already done, DH just blindly believes her, and if I question anything, he yells at me that I'm not treating the kids the same! Like I said..I agree that he is PART of the problem!
The eating disorder is very real...not just accusations. It has been going on for more than a year. She has ALL of the warning signs...disappearing to the bathroom immediately after meals or snacks if she does eat anything; during meals, she will sit there and pick and poke at her food; her breath is so bad that if she is talking in the backseat of the car, you can smell it from the front seat with your back turned to her; her hair keeps getting thinner and thinner and is dull and brittle; she is ALWAYS cold, even in 80 degrees; her skin is getting paler and paler and losing any kind of healthy coloring to it; she injures easily, and it takes her 2-3x the time of any normal person to heal; she is always tired...more so than a typical teen; the bathroom that ONLY she uses you regularly find what appears to be chunks of food under the seat of the toilet, and what looks like vomit splatters around the toilet. This isn't a "oh, she's thin, she must have an eating disorder" kind of accusation! Truth is, she isn't super skinny, as is the case with most purgers, because they don't take into account things like sodas, and they don't realize that during a binge, the body already absorbs some of the calories before they get an opportunity to purge it. Most purgers are still slightly overweight.
Sorry for the rant...just so
Sorry for the rant...just so tired of folks who defend SD14's actions as okay or "she doesn't know" including DH and BM! They created this, and I'm always getting stuck dealing with it...canceling plans because DH doesn't want to go to this or that alone, dealing with the constant attitude like how dare I ask her to pick up her own socks or anything, etc...and the totally ignoring the real issues!
sounds like this is all very
sounds like this is all very annoying- but let your DH waste his time if he wants to. You can pack while is bored at the mall!
I can understand your
I can understand your frustration. If your dh wants to funnel money into her and spend time with her then he can take her to therapy to treat her life threatening condition, why would he even consider ANY extracurricular at this point when she apparently has other needs? She might even like treatment as it would get her some attention.
A child's health should be
A child's health should be put before extra activities. I say the DH needs to get her help for her eating disorder before she's allowed into any other activities.
Exactly!!! And I'm not the
Exactly!!! And I'm not the only one who has expressed concern. Everyone notices that right after she eats, she disappears to the bathroom. Then there is the shallowness to her skin, the thinning hair, the bad breath, etc. You can't ignore these things!
Your DH needs to pull his
Your DH needs to pull his foot down right now. Pull her out of all activities and into therapy. Once she is healthy again she can concentrate and excel at a new activity that she loves.
He won't! He's even said that
He won't! He's even said that he's tired of trying to make her eat right...when she is on one of her phases of not eating anything at all. She will not eat anything all day, and when DH "suggests" she eat dinner, she gets away with the "I'm not really hungry" and to the room disappearing act! If I had any say, I would march myself straight to her room and tell her if she didn't eat, I would commit her to a facility that would force her to eat, and follow through! But since I have no legal right to do so, I get to just watch as DH let's her slowly kill herself because he is too afraid she will hate him if he forces the issue...or any other issue for that matter. This is why SD14 walks all over him! I'm pretty sure the whole audition thing this weekend was more like her telling him she needed to be at X at such and such time...not, "Hey dad, there is this thing...would it be okay if we..." Followed by a discussion about why it may it may not be a could idea, or why or why not it isn't possible at this time. No, she TELLS h, and he is just supposed to do it because it is what she wants! Last I checked, SD14 was still a child, and pretty sure DH is an adult, though he doesn't always act like it!
This girl needs to see a
This girl needs to see a doctor for a full physical check up. Perhaps if a doc tells your DH straight out that something's seriously wrong here he will wise up.
And sorry but, "onthefence2"? This is like the 2nd or 3rd time you've commented on a post I've read today and pretty much ripped apart the original poster. Feel free to stay the hell away from any of MY posts/blog entries unless you have something constructive to say. Attacking the OP isnt helpful - it's rude.
As for the SD, if this is a financial burden that OP has to deal with too then she has every right to put the brakes on. Sounds like DH has some trouble saying no to his precious darling. BALANCE IN EVERYTHING.
I agree fully that she needs
I agree fully that she needs to see a doctor for a checkup, and DH need to hear straight from the medical professionals, because he refuses to listen to me, his own family, and close family friends that we all see things that concern us. DH has been bugging me to make a dentist appt for SD14 and take her, and I keep refusing. HE needs to make the appt and take her! Why? Because with the purging, the dentist will see thinning enamel, and DH needs to hear from the dentist that this is a concern...not from the dentist through me!
I love SD14...don't get me wrong! I've been in her life from nearly the beginning! But that doesn't mean I have to like her! I don't like the person she has become! I don't like that I'm not allowed to correct her in any way, and if I make any kind of suggestions to DH I'm yelled at for it! I don't like that every time she enters a room, every muscle in my neck and shoulders tighten because I know I'm going to have to listen to her self absorption for the next hour, or have to listen to her tear down some other person, or have to listen to a flood of lies! Or, she is getting ready to tell DH that she needs even more money for something. Yes, I have the right to put the brakes on the spending...I make more money than DH, and after DH's portion of the expenses in this house, he literally has nothing left...so every time he gives in to buying SD14 this or that, or paying for yet something else, it comes out of my hard earned money. I have literally had to tell BS19 no for things, or had to post pone things, because after SD14 got through, any extra I had to take care of his stuff was gone! Then, DH complains about how it seems we have less money now that SD14 is with us and he isn't paying his ex child support any more, and he doesn't understand it! Our electric bill increased, our water bill doubled (thanks to all those hour long showers), and every time that SD14 says "I need" or "I want", well, that is what she gets if I fail to stop DH! And not all of the "needs" are needs...like, SD14 has thrown a fit that she needs makeup wipes to take her makeup every night, instead of using a little soap, water, and a wash cloth that has been good enough for me for years! She "needs" to change her hair color all the time. She "needs" new gauges. She "needs" a new charging cable for her phone or her tablet yet again, because she will not stop falling asleep with these things and breaking the cords. She "needs" a new cell phone because she destroyed or lost another one. It goes on and on and on...
Yup, it just keeps building
Yup, it just keeps building and building! I'm done! At this point, I just want to say, "She sticks with color guard, or she does nothing!" I'm tired of her flip-flopping between things she thinks she wants to do, and every time, costing us more and more money, only to have her drop it! If I thought in the least that anything would turn into a future for her, I would be supportive of it...but with her, everything has been a passing fancy! She gets bored, it's more work than she bargained for, so she moves on! And modeling for a girl that is already as vain as she is, and as boy crazy as she is? Oh heck no!
I can back out on some things, but I cannot back out when it is going to end up causing money! I need to stop the spillage, so to speak! If I don't, we will be so far in debt because of this girl, that I'll never be able to retire! I'll still be working at Wal-Mart at age 90!
Ha...doesn't surprise me. I
Ha...doesn't surprise me. I can't even remember the last time SD14 washed clothes! DH told her that she needed to wash clothes every Wednesday night...that this was her day of the week wash. That was like 2 months ago, and since she has only washed maybe once. I keep waiting for her clothes to take of walking on their own! All the clothing she has, and she wears the same handful of things over and over and doesn't wash? I wonder what she is doing about underwear, because I know she doesn't have enough to sustain not washing for as long as she has!
LOL...first rule of being a
LOL...first rule of being a woman! Of course, would do no good for SD14...as she herself has admitted that she is irregular...will go months without having one. Hmmmm...wait...another sign of malnutrition! She asked DH not that long ago when she will start getting regular, when he had one of her "you can talk to me about anything" talks. His response was, "When you start eating right!" Yup...that was the end of that topic, never to come up again! I know she can't be regular, because I'm the one who has to buy her pads, because DH will not do it, and it has easily been 4 months...and the last package I bought had only had supply for one cycle.
Why does your son's visit
Why does your son's visit matter more than her activity?
You deal with your son, he deals with his daughter in case you can't organize it any other way.
But your son's visit is hardly a reason that he can't take her.
Her health, however, is a reason.
Why is it matter more?
Why is it matter more? Because SD14 demands everyone tend to her wants! She had no regard for anyone else! My son's stuff can be scheduled a month in advance (in this case it was), and she could know full and well what the plans are, but SD14 will come up with something she wants to do and basically demand that DH does it. I often times think she does it on purpose to pull DH away. DH adopted my son...my ex is a worthless piece who chose his alcohol, pot, and friends over his own kids!!! The man just quit being a dad, and didn't even fight when DH adopted my son 10 years ago! Yes, it is important for DH to be there during this college visit. BS19 and I already visited this school once this summer to attend a football camp he was invited to, now he has been asked to come back for an official visit. AS HIS PARENT, it is DH's responsibility to also check out where BS19 may be going to school. I know there are parents out there who do not see any importance in the parents being involved in the decision, saying it is the kid's life...but it is important. We've invested all of this time in a person, helping to mold him into the person he is...we want to be sure that when he goes away from the nest to a college, that he will be influenced by people that will help continue to foster good values in BS19. You hear too much about these kids at certain colleges that will be unnammed just going crazy...getting DUIs and such, only to have the coaches get the offenses bushed under the rug for the sake of some championship! We want to make sure he gets an education and such so that he leaves there in 4 years an adult ready to conquer the world and be the best person he can be! Is that so wrong?
SD14 on the other hand obviously doesn't care who she is! All she cares about is being the center of attention...which by the way, she has always gotten more than enough attention, while BD22 and BS19 have never been demanding of anyone's attention...if folks made it to something, they made it...if they didn't, they didn't. When SD14 has an event (and there are LOTS of events because she will join anything that will have her), if DH, myself, BM, stepdad, grandmas, her aunt, etc. don't ALL show up, she is all butt hurt! She isn't even happy about the ones that did show up if anyone doesn't show up! How is someone like that? She has no real ambition...no goals. She has bounced from thing to thing constantly, never staying with anything long enough to actually be any good at it. Oh, and don't let anyone give her any constructive criticism! During her performances with the band this last season, she kept messing with her hair on the field causing her to mess up in the routine. When DH kindly brought up that she should ignore her hair on the field, she got all upset and said he was being mean! Yet, if you tell my son something like, "You coulda had that sack, but you didn't wrap him up, man!" he wouldn't be upset with you at all...he will just say, "Yeah, I know", shrug it off, then say, "I'll get him next time" with a big smile!
Then there is the issue of DH. If I just "let him deal with his daughter", we would get stuck in some contract with some agent that will cost us money that we may or may not have, because DH will be too influenced by SD14 batting her eyes and saying "please, please, please" and he won't even check with me to see if we have the money for it. Sorry, after a contract is signed, we better find the money for it, and who do you think will have to give things up? Not DH! Not SD14! No, it will end up being either me or my son...again...and I'm the major wage earner in this home so how is that fair?
And it's your husband's
And it's your husband's responsibility to take care of his daughter. So no, your son's visit does not matter more. Your husband should find a way to be there for both of his children. And the it's not "MY son" to you, it's "OUR son", if your husband is his parent too.
Your husband has to invest his time in hjis daughter to, she has to be influenced. So he should pay attention to her too.
Plus, your BS is older and more mature so he needs less attention.
Your SD is the one with issues that has to be dealt with.
As for money, don't let it cost YOU money. Make sure it's all on your husband.
And the way to deal with the
And the way to deal with the issues is to not give in to her every whim...to not let her take away from others. She won't allow DH to invest time in BS19. But get this, she only wants to spend time with DH on HER terms...so DH will try to spend quality time with her when there isn't anyone else around (which is most of the time with BS19's schedule), and she brushes him off and hides in her room. DH will suggest watching a movie...he even lets her pick the movie...she will sit about 10 minutes into it, and then walk off without a word. DH will try to ask her if there is anything she wants to do, and she "doesn't know"...basically, if it doesn't involve taking her shopping and spending money on her, she doesn't want to have anything to do with him! Let BS19 be home, and SD14 is suddenly in the middle of everything! When we try to do anything as a whole family, SD14 tries to pull all the attention toward her. She has never been denied attention, and like I've said, she typically gets more than most kids!
Perfect example...SD14 just had to go the the holiday choir presentation at her old school. DH left work early to make sure she could go! He totally planned on attending the event with SD14, but she just wanted him to be her ride! Because there was nothing for DH to do anywhere close to the event, he basically got stuck sitting in his car for 2 hours, because SD14 made it very clear that she did not want him to come in! Yeah, that is great treatment of her father!!! Now, if BD22 or BS19 had done that to me, either I would have made it very clear I was coming in regardless...didn't means they had to sit with me. OR, I would flat out tell them if that is how they were going to treat me, then I really don't need to do anything nice for them like drive 60 miles round trip to take them to something they just "wanted" to do...make it clear that I'm not their servant or taxi service! That is what DH SHOULD have done...would have done more to address the issues than just sitting in the car. Instead, he sits in the car, allowing SD14 to treat him like crap!
And yes, BS19 doesn't need the attention that SD14 does, but that doesn't mean that DH should allow SD14 to ruin any father/son time DH may plan with BS19...he may not need the personal attention that SD14 needs, but he still needs to know that dad will be there for him too should he need him! There are just some things that mom can't fill in...BS19 needs to know if he needs to call dad and talk to him about "guy" things, that he isn't going to get brushed off because of SD14!
As for the money situation...easier said than done. Yeah...I'm already thinking about opening a separate account, but guess what, anything that my husband signs in this state that legally obligates him financially legally obligates both of us...he gets sued for breach of some contract he signs because SD14 bats her eyes, I can be pulled into it just for being his wife! Oh, and let's not forget the huge fights we will have when I tell him that I refuse to pay for this contract he signs without consulting me! Instead of coming up with excuses why SD14 and DH are in the right here, why don't you try putting yourself in my shoes and think how it would make you feel! How would you feel if the collectors started knocking on your door for something you didn't agree to, but somehow, you are now legally obligated for? How would you feel if you constantly had to change your plans because SD14 came up with something else she just has to have or do, and throws a temper tantrum like a 2-year-old if she is told no to anything? Put yourself in the shoes of the other child! You already had your BF turn his back on you, and now it seems that every time you get some time with your adopted dad, his other child pulls him away! Yeah...BS19 doesn't need as much attention...that is because he has already had to learn to appear like he is bullet proof when it comes to feelings! Doesn't make it hurt any less...just means he doesn't show it!
Of course in THIS instance
Of course in THIS instance the son's college visit matters more.
Sometimes as parents we have to do for one at the expense of the other not getting to do something they want.
The college visit is IMPORTANT, has been scheduled for over a month I believe I read, and was already agreed to.
The SD's modelling interview? Pie in the sky, money sucking enterprise that is NOT going to do any harm to miss.
If it was something IMPORTANT for her - say a BIG recital, exam, whatever then sure the parents split so both can be done, but for something this daft? They do what was originally planned and SD gets told No.
Not rocket science, these issues come up in "normal" families all the time, with one kids activity or needs taking precedence at some time or another with NO dramas - why make an issue of it now?
Exactly! I didn't simply
Exactly! I didn't simply schedule the visit without first consulting DH and agreeing upon a date, especially because he expressed interest in going! I don't even get that much when it comes to SD14's stuff. Just TOLD (last minute most of the time) and if I had something else planned or scheduled, I'm often pressured to cancel to participate in SD14's activity! How is that right?
So, for anyone who thinks
So, for anyone who thinks that SD14 deserves anything else...
I get home this evening from the gym, and DH is fuming! He got some new texts from BM...guess who has been smoking pot AGAIN! Yup, the week SD14 was at BM's, she got in contact with her little hoodlum friends in that neighborhood and stoked it up again! Oh, and just as stupid as posting pictures of herself with a fat joint on Instagram that day she skipped school (that is how she got caught when a friend showed a teacher), she took pictures of herself AGAIN...with her mom's phone! BM found the pictures on her camera roll tonight! But, yeah, I'm supposed to show an ounce of support for her wanting to go to modeling auditions!
On the other hand, there is BS19 who has never drank (just the smell of alcohol turns his stomach and makes him want to puke because his BF was an alcoholic), he has never used any illegal substance (again, BF abused drugs so seeing where BF's life went turned BS19 off of drugs early in life), works hard, practices his sports hard and takes great care of himself so he can stay his best, etc. He has colleges wanting to give him scholarships because of his skill, his heart, and his good character (and yes, in this day and age, schools are googling prospects to see what is out there on the internet to get a feel for what kind of kid they are recruiting)! He is doing what he is supposed to do, SD14 is doing everything she isn't supposed to do!
At this point, he is this || close to yanking her out of all activities!
What really ticks me off is
What really ticks me off is that DH didn't march his butt over to his sister's house to pick up SD14! No, he calls her on the phone and asks, "So, do you want to tell me why your mom is so upset right now?" I could tell by why I heard on this end, she KNEW what was up! I heard DH tell her, "Well, then you better excuses yourself to another room and tell me what you think this is all about!"
From what I heard on this side of the conversation, SD14 is trying to say her and her friends were just messing around on SnapChat and weren't actually smoking pot...they were sending each other picture of pipes and bongs and stuff, and just rolled paper to look like a joint, etc. I think DH actually bought this crap story, because no grounding, no nothing...just a bit of a yelling fit, and him telling her if she appears to be doing it, then she is doing it, that she didn't need to be on SnapChat, the reason she doesn't have a smartphone is because she does dumb things like this, etc. BM doesn't believe this crap, and neither do I! BM thinks DH is an idiot for believing and trusting SD14, but she is tired of dealing with SD14's crap, and has a younger child in the home...so SD14's step-dad doesn't want her there! Bad thing for me is that this means it will be a long time before DH lets SD14 go to BM's again, because SD14 ALWAYS does stupid stuff there. The only difference I can think of is that BM lives in the city in a neighborhood...so when SD14 sneaks out, there is actually someplace to go and people to hang out with. Also, BM isn't the brightest cookie...I mean, SD14 got her phone away from her without her even noticing! Here, SD14 is out in the country...it is quite a walk to get to someone's house! All of her friends are a good 2+ miles away. I don't think that has completely stopped here, because there have been many nights the dogs were restless that I wonder about. DH doesn't seem to care.
Of course, DH has had the SnapChat conversation before...she has it on her tablet. She was "told" to remove it, but like anything else? Yeah, I'm sure it is still on her tablet, along with every other app DH has told her to remove.
More stuff has come to light
More stuff has come to light about the last week! New Year's Eve, SD14 spent the night at a boy's house...the one she was making out with weeks ago, and BM let her!!! But supposedly, SD14 is actually dating the junior at her high school...but spending the night with another boy? Whaaaaa?!?
Seems in addition to the pot, there was also alcohol involved...SD14 snuck liquor from BM and stepdad's kitchen while they were asleep! Pot, alcohol, staying with a boy, sneaking out...all kinds of fun was had at BM's!
And FINALLY DH is taking some action, but not enough, in my opinion. She lost use of her cell phone...that's it! She keeps her tablet and internet, she gets to stay in color guard, everything else stays the same. Well, DH claims no more last minute after school plans...she needs to come straight home everyday. I get the feeling there is still stuff we don't know about and she isn't coming clean about...she is only admitting to part of it all. I could tell by her expressions during the whole discussion. There were certain things said that she had very questionable responses to.
I'm certain this is all far from over!
Seems a lot of these kids
Seems a lot of these kids have two ineffectual parents...
They do! And then when the
They do! And then when the steps try to step in, we are yelled at that it isn't our place, back off, etc.! Yet, when they don't want to shuttle their kids around, then we are claimed to be needed.
I've been expressing to SH my suspicions for some time, and expressing my concerns about SD14 and her lying, but I'm always told that she has changed because she lives with us, etc. I want to just slap him and tell him to wake up! Now that I've been proven right, he is still being too easy, and trusting her when she says she is done with the stupid stuff. I feel like she is just telling him what he wants to hear.
So much for punishment for
So much for punishment for the lying, alcohol, pot, boys Fest known as winter break! SD14 is supposedly grounded from her phone (that is it), but every time a text message comes through, DH hands it to her to respond! Ugh!
Of course, now, SD14 is saying she hates her mom and never wants to go to BM's again! Of course she hates her...BM found all the evidence that got SD14 in trouble!
DH is letting her live the easy life! No extra chores, gets to stay in color guard, watching TV, etc.! In the mean time, I have to put up with SD14 being as fake as she can be trying to butter up to DH AND me! DH is eating it up...I know it is an act. She just wants full, unsupervised use of her phone back, and for DH to say it is okay to date that guy from her school! She has been really pushing the boyfriend thing, and DH is caving! Oh, and it has come to light that there was even a third guy she was making out with recently...there were pictures of them kissing on her phone. She tried to say they weren't dating, but that she liked him and want him to ask her out, that is why she let him kiss her! Seriously! Hello grandpa! Probably the only thing that would save him is if the eating disorder has her system so screwed it makes it difficult to get pregnant!
And SD14 keeps bugging DH about when she is done being "grounded". If I hear her ask one more time...
Ugh! And now she is sitting here asking DH when this thing he is into pays out and he will get his money! You know...that get rich thing that he and MIL are into! I knew he should have never said anything to her! It isn't going to happen...it's a scam! Unfortunately, DH believes in it, and now I have to deal with SD14 asking him
About it all the time! And he doesn't think she is materialistic? Let's not forget she tried to get us to go shopping after church...saying going home was too boring! I promptly reminded that Christmas just happened...she has enough new stuff to last for a while...and reminded DH we have plenty of other expenses coming up this month!
DH already gave SD14 back her
DH already gave SD14 back her cell phone! Can you believe that crap? AND he has given her permission to date the guy at school...the one who is 2 grades above her! Great work, dad! Nice way to show her how you stick to your guns...not!
Now, SD14 still doesn't want to go to BMs any time soon...is still in "I hate my mom and never want to see her again" mode. However, according to BMs texts, she found an indication that SD14 has been getting her hands on pot around here...which I've suspected. I have no proof, but the sudden going over to a friend's house after school every day that she doesn't come up with an excuse to stay after at school? Yeah...and then she disappears to her room and we don't see her for the rest of the night. Something is up! I think BM is on to something. How can DH be so freaking blind! Waiting for it to all crash around him! I wonder what kind of report MIL will have after we get back from vacation...how much crap SD14 is going to try to pull over on her knowing that we can't be called.
Oh, I know this...but try to
Oh, I know this...but try to tell these girls that...especially ones like SD14 who are already a bit full of themselves and want to always be the center of attention! Tell them they have a chance a modeling, and they go bonkers!
Out of curiosity, how long
Out of curiosity, how long exactly does your DH expect you to put up with this insanity?
Good question? Just over
Good question? Just over three years until she graduates, or an eternity because she is so much like BM?
Miss Princess is back to
Miss Princess is back to starvation mode again! DH seriously needs to open his eyes! Lunch account shows that she hasn't had lunch for the last two days...and she doesn't eat breakfast ever. So that means that dinner is all she has been eating, but even that...she eats like a bird and then straight to the bathroom...her dinner isn't more than about 300 calories before purging! Guess she gained weight over the holiday, and her clothing is a bit snug!
And she is already back to her old ways. She was caught lying again yesterday...it was about something stupid, but it was lying all the same. She also back to hiding out in her room. She hasn't been using her tablet, which really makes me thing it is broken-broken...especially since DH made a comment to me that I should get a new Kindle Fire HD, and give SD14 my old one...I don't think so. Sure, I would like the new Kindle, but I'm not going through the crap of moving all my stuff just to make yet another device available for SD14. His other idea is that he get an iPad Air and give her his tablet...no again! I'm not spending money to get her another device! Sure, it is one of us getting a new device and giving her the old, but it is still us spending more money simply because she broke another device!! I could care less at this point if she ever gets another device!!! She wants another device at this point, time for her to start doing odd jobs and such to earn money and buy one herself! Maybe if it were her own money, she will treat it better! I'm done! I refuse to let DH buy her any more electronics...will not happen. And if that means he doesn't get anything else because I know he will just give SD14 his old one if he does, so be it! I can go a long time without new stuff...my laptop is 5 years old and still works like a champ...my Kindle is at least 2 years old at this point. I'll use them until they break, so they can't be given to SD14!
My SD17 thinks she is model
My SD17 thinks she is model material. BM of SD17 had a "professional" photographer take "graduation" pictures of her. We have only seen one of these pictures. It was of SD17 in a bikini with a pair of chaps on. BF saw it and didnt say a word. Dont think I want to see the rest of the pictures. When I saw BM, I asked her what she was thinking. BM just laughed and said that her side of the family was very upset about the one picture too. SD17 went so far as to say the picture would have been better if she would have had BF's Harley to pose with. No reaction out of BF. I wouldnt take anymore rides with BF on Harley if this would have happened. Yuck. It wouldnt be so bad but that picture is all over the internet, anywhere she can post it.
What kind of model is she
What kind of model is she trying to be? UGH!
SD14 tried to starve herself completely yesterday. When DH tried to get her to eat dinner, she claimed she wasn't feeling well, and admitted that she hadn't eaten anything all day. DH told her, "Then, of course you don't feel well! You need to eat something!" I left for the gym about this point, and I made it a point to tell DH that all SD14 had the day before was a small bowl of soup for dinner...that she also skipped out on breakfast and lunch then, too. When I got home, I asked DH if SD14 finally ate anything, and he said she had a sandwich. A SANDWICH! Two slices of bread, one thin slice of ham, and a piece of cheese! I told him that some 300 calories was not enough to sustain, and he just shrugged it off. He needs to take this seriously, but he refuses to! Girl has had less calories this week than I eat in a day, and I don't eat a whole lot of calories when compared to most people (I eat my daily requirement, mostly healthy foods, and don't overindulge on things). Does he not see all the blaring warning signs of malnutrition? She has maybe had 1200 calories THIS WEEK...and of that, I haven't seen her eat a single vegetable or fruit...it has all been basically junk (the soup was a cheese soup).
Yep. Same thing here. SD17
Yep. Same thing here. SD17 gets to run everywhere, skip school, stay anywhere she wants. No reactions out of BM or BF. I found empty packs of cigs all over her car. Dont know how she was able to purchase them. Of course they were "not hers". She did not know how they got there. SD17 is always letting things slip about parties and drinking. BF still says nothing. Even though he is a recovering alcoholic (sober for 2 years now.)
My BD15 is excelling in school extra-curricular activities. She doesnt drink or smoke or do drugs. BD15 is on speech team, debate team, FFA, and the academic team. BD15 woke up for school this morning with a sore throat. I asked if she wanted to stay home, but she insisted that she wanted to go so she could get some things done.