how long before we contact the lawyer to file contempt?
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So my husband's ex is supposed to use ourfamilywizard.com. It is in the court order which was entered Friday. My husband wanted the use of the site, she fought it at first, but then my husband offered to pay for her she agreed.
Judge signed off on it.
But the ex has not signed in to the site.
It would be just like her to not do it. So,...
How long before we contact the lawyer for contempt?
Technically she was in contempt friday evening as the court order is in effect from the time it was entered friday.
Are they supposed to log in
Are they supposed to log in daily? I would be screwed if something just went into effect Friday and I was already supposed to be on top of it. Who has custody? If she has custody or more custody time, I would give it longer. One thing my ex doesn't get is that while he can sit around all day/night doing whatever he wants and assuming I'm withholding the kids from him because they don't answer his call right away or call him back, I am usually taking the kids somewhere/with the kids somewhere/feeding the kids somewhere and the last thing on my mind is what I need to do to appease him. I am busy parenting. He is bored. If your dh has custody, forget all that. If she has nothing to do because he has the kids, she has time to log in and figure it out.
The judge is going to be
The judge is going to be really ticked if Dad files contempt after one day.
My husband has custody, his
My husband has custody, his ex gets visitation. So she has plenty of time to get it done. The website contacts the other parent and describes in detail how to log on-she obviously has ignored the phone call and email the website gave her.
We don't see a need to start stirring the pot right away, but all the same-he paid $200 for he and her to use this site just for the first year. He doesn't want to be an ass, but he does want her to know that he is serious about following the court order and about using ourfamilywizard.com for ALL communication.
I shared with him not to respond to any communication outside of ourfamilywizard.com, but only if he has to and only to say "please use ourfamilywizard as ordered by the court"
Other than that, We were wanting more of a length of time to wait. We can see her not doing it until her hand is pushed.
I'm not a member of the
I'm not a member of the wizard but I think I got the idea. It's a buffer whereby the parents can communicate about the child but avoid face or voice communications, calendar, etc.
As suggested by another person here he should deflect all attempts to communicate by
replying "only via wizard please". He answers no questions, sets no dates, makes no requests. He should start using the wizard immediately making calendar notations, posting updates, sending messages - using all the facilities available as needed.
He then ignores all outside attempts on her part not via the wizard. I doubt if she will avoid using the wizard long enough for contempt to be a consideration as her failure to do so should end all communication with her ex AND her kid.
After all if her visitations or whatever aren't calendared then they don't exist.
As an aside I wonder why you're so eager to start a contempt war. As with most court hearings there are rarely winners with both parties leaving with less than they thought they deserved. Sometimes a lot less.
Communication has always been
Communication has always been a problem with her. She is also always changing her mind. This is the first time she has agreed to a supplemental agreement that nails down communication, which she claims is a problem on his side.
We don't want to cause a huge scene. And we don't want to look like pot stirers. We just want her to know that he is putting his foot down and fully intends to follow the order and hold her to following the order, which she agreed to.
I guess I'm not understanding
I guess I'm not understanding how the site works. Is it something she needs to check regularly, or only check if she has something she needs to communicate? Has she attempted to contact your DH in other ways since the order went through? I guess I'm wondering what the issue is that she hasn't signed on yet, if she hasn't attempted to make contact in other ways. I wouldn't worry about it. If your DH puts something on there and she doesn't see it because she isn't signing on, then the fault is hers. Now, if she was disregarding the order and contacting him in other ways, then yes, after some reminders I would make an issue of it, but I would let a significant amount of time pass before I did so.
I think if your husband has
I think if your husband has custody and the ex wants to communicate, she should do so via the court ordered method. Until she follows the CO, he should ignore all communication from her. You say she won't comply until her hand is forced .. to me that means, she own't comply until she needs to communicate with him.
I think that there isn't an issue here until she tries communicating outside of OFW; at which point I agree with others; he should redirect her to the CO and OFW.
Are you suggesting she sign up and try to communicate with you when there's no need, just because you've paid for a new software?
The main point is there are
The main point is there are events she needs to be aware of.
Such as the youngest has cheerleading after school until her pickup time this week. So she will need to either pick her up from cheerleading or if she wants to pick up all three kids at his home, then it will have to be a later time.
She has not logged on to the site, so she is going to show up and only have two kids. And the youngest girl will be waiting at school for a pick up. Three kids in two different places at the time of her pickup. The problem is there but without communication between the two of them, there will not be a solution.
I hate to say it, but it
I hate to say it, but it seems like you have to show that her failure to communicate results in things like this happening (missed drop offs, etc).
Can your DH still send communication and update schedules even if she hasn't logged in? I think all he needs to do is show he's providing the info.
Maybe have someone available to pick up the missing kid since it seems that BM may miss her.
There's not really a good answer here :?
At pick up time, one of you
At pick up time, one of you be there to pick up the youngest. Let BM show up at the house and only get 2 kids. When she questions, he can explain that she should have checked OFW like the CO says.
She will flip & be all stressed. You & DH will be ok because you know youngest isn't waiting at the school alone.