Losing it!
I am at my wits end! I am due June 4th with our third child. He has two children who are 9 and 11 from a prevous marriage. I have a 5 and 2 year old from a previous marriage. I love all the kids, but holy molly! I have been stuck in the house with my two kids day in and day out, then SS comes home from school and I am dealing with him and my two kids until they go to sleep at night. Its a never ending thing!
If either my kids or my husband can't something they are constently comeing to me, expecting me to know where it is! I want to scream " I am not the one that had it, you find it yourself!" But not exactly in those nice of words.
On top of that, when DH leaves anywhere they feel they can run all over the house and fight with one another. I am at my wits end! I can't take this much longer! I am to the point I want to tell everyone to get out of the house or at least let me freaking leave for a day or two! I can't take this crap@!!!!!!!!
What should I do???!!!!!!
YES to this! When DH wants
YES to this! When DH wants or needs to go somewhere on a weeknight or a weekend day when the skids are with us, he takes them with him. Yep, all three, unless I say it's okay to leave ONE of them behind. Every time he leaves two or more with me, all hell breaks loose. One of them at a time, I can usually handle.
I don't leave my kids with him to watch, so I think it's only fair that I'm treated the same. He only has his every other week. I have mine 24/7.
If he wants to trot off to some event going on somewhere, or one of his kids has a ball game or practice, then they can all go together. "Have fun!" I say as he trudges out the door with those screaming brats in tow. "Enjoy some good father-and-son time!"
After he closes the door and can no longer hear me, I add "SEE ya! Wouldn't want to BE ya!" Then I go on about my merry business, enjoying some quiet time at home with my own kids.
"As for finding stuff, you
"As for finding stuff, you need to learn that you are "utterly incompetent" to solve their problem."
This worked wonders for me with the skids. They were constantly - CONSTANTLY - coming to me to look for things. "I can't find my homework folder so I need YOU to go find it. NOW! I NEED IT!" "Where's my jacket?" "Where's my coat? WHERE IS IT NCGAL?!?!? FIIIND IT!"
It might've been different if they actually ASKED me to look for something, but no. They'd ORDER me to go find it for them, ASAP.
I don't do that for my own kids, and I'm not doing it for them.
What you said, above, is exactly what I started doing after about a week of living with them. I just got the Edith Bunker far-away look, stand there a minute, then say "Huh. I...don't...know..." Then I'd just stand there and stare at them until they walked away.
I did this every single time, and now none of them bother me to look for stuff very often. Occasionally one of them will try again, just to see if anything's changed, but nope, it hasn't. They still get the same answer every single time.
I'm sure they hate it, but if they could keep up with their own shit, they wouldn't have this problem in the first place...which is kinda my point when I answer them that way.
If Daddy leaves he can take
If Daddy leaves he can take all four. It will give him an idea of what its like being home "alone" with all of those kids. Speaking of which why a 5th? Holy Moly. Anyway use your pregnancy as an excuse to start and keep insisting because you have a infant. That should last about 2 years and by then it'll be routine.
As for finding stuff the reason everyone doesn't know where stuff is is because its the housewife that put it away. Quit putting stuff away. Tell them to do it, even groceries and at least Daddy will know then you can tell them to ask him.
I have actually left the
I have actually left the house before a few times and when I always come back the kids are either taking a nap or they are actually playing in their rooms. Yet if I have them they are hellions on wheels and I lose it. But now I am starting to wonder about crap. I said something to DH last night, now he is worried. Which I don't blame him for being worried. Because SS normally doesn't live with us, but has moved in with us because of the fact that he was doing very poorly in school where he was with his mother.
On top of that he has ADD/ADHD. Which I thought I could deal with because my DH has it has well, and I have never really had a problem with him. But SS is a whole other story! I can tell right off the bat whether or not he has taken any of his medications or not. (Which I actually think he hates that I notice). But on top of that he does nothing but complain about every little thing, I mean every little thing. I have actually snapped at him and told him to stop complaining.
I honestly feel like a bad mother/step-mother, but I guess that will get easier to deal with as time goes on.
But yesterday was weird. I told DH everything I was feeling and yet when he took over all three kids I wasn't sure what to do. I was actually sitting there wondering if I should be doing something or if I should just sit there. Is that even normal?