The sight of SD immediately puts me in a bad mood!
So yesterday DH and I decided to take a day trip and the place we went happened to be near BM’s house so we picked SD up on our way home (DH and BM normally meet halfway). DH and I had a great day together but as soon as I saw SD’s face I was immediately in a bad mood.
BM lives with her mom, her 2 siblings and all their kids (BM has 3 including SD and the siblings have 3-4 between the 2 of them).
DH and I have been TTC for a year so seeing all the trashy baby mamas with all their little bay bay kids running around outside barefoot just set something off in me!
As soon as SD comes around, DH is totally up her ass so it was clear that my time with him was over (mind you, we have SD full time & she only sees BM on occasional weekends so it’s not like he never sees her).
I felt a little bit bad about the way I reacted to SD and the BM situation yesterday so I asked DH if he wanted to have lunch with me today just the 2 of us. DH picked me up at work and immediately started talking about SD!! :jawdrop: We ate and I had him drop me back off.
Ugh! What is with these men who won’t stfu about their kids??!
I get what you're saying
I get what you're saying about your husband going on and on about his kids. I had to tell my husband that while I understands that he loves his kids dearly, that it bothers me when he goes on and on about his kids and how great they are because these kids are not something we made together, they were made with other crazy women- and so I will never get as excited about his kids as he gets about them. Parading them up and down in front of me is hurtful. I don't think he really understands where I'm coming from all the time with it, but I try to convey to him what I'm feeling- even if I think he's not going to like what I have to say.
That's how I feel too. SD
That's how I feel too. SD isn't something we created together. She's something he created with a nutjob who has done nothing but try to make our lives hell for the past 4 years! The fact that she looks and talks EXACTLY like BM only adds fuel to the fire. I've tried calmly talking to him about it before, & I've even blown up at him on occasion (like when we had a RARE date night- we have SD full time- & he spent the entire time talking about how SD would like this restaurant & how he would like to bring SD here one day, etc). Nothing seems to get through to him! I wish I could give him a dose of his own medicine.
Oh I know how you feel. We
Oh I know how you feel. We have SD full time & I didn't even get a card or flowers on mother's day. Granted I know I'm not her mother & I don't want to be or try to be, but I do provide her food, clothing, & shelter so I thought I should be recognized but nope!
Anyway, you're right, I am definitely projecting my anger onto SD when it's not her fault. She didn't ask to be born by a sorry excuse for a woman. She didn't ask to be an unplanned pregnancy. & she didn't ask for a stepmother. I'm just so damn resentful & I end up taking it out on her.
I'm in exactly the same boat
I'm in exactly the same boat and it's so frustrating isn't it. I had to go for a long walk yesterday cause I just had such nasty thoughts going on in my head.
I'd love to know where the fathers buy their rose tinted glasses cause I think I need a pair.
Take them off and what you get is a mini BM down to a tea. The way she looks, acts, expects to get given anything she asks for and without even a thank you.
I'm in exactly the same boat
I'm in exactly the same boat and it's so frustrating isn't it. I had to go for a long walk yesterday cause I just had such nasty thoughts going on in my head.
I'd love to know where the fathers buy their rose tinted glasses cause I think I need a pair.
Take them off and what you get is a mini BM down to a tea. The way she looks, acts, expects to get given anything she asks for and without even a thank you.
SD is 6 and she is DH's first
SD is 6 and she is DH's first and only, so far.
We've been ttc for a year & I have no bios. It's so HARD having to go through this with the stepfamily drama and bs on top of it. Some days I don't know if I will make it. If, God forbit, we can't conceive, I can't imagine staying & having to see DH with SD every day of my life.
We got her full time in August & it's just been nonstop since then. DH feels bad for getting a babysitter & for some reason feels like he doesn't see SD that much (she just started school this year so I explained to him this is what happens with all kids when they start school.. they aren't around all day..). Meanwhile, I feel like she NEVER LEAVES! So we have pretty much opposite feelings/opinions about her being here. He doesn't see my side AT ALL.
We hardly even have sex (or spend any other time together for that matter) because he's up her ass from the time they get home from school/work until she goes to bed. By the time she goes to bed, he's so exhausted from following her around all day that he passes out & I am alone until I am ready for bed too.
Ugh that pisses me off too!
Ugh that pisses me off too! BM is an unemployed drug addict who has 3 kids (all 6 and under) with 3 different men, never married to any of them. She has 2 unemployed drug addict siblings & they each have 2 kids. They ALL live with the mother who is also, you guessed it, an unemployed drug addict. How the hell do these people keep reproducing?!! Something is wrong with this world!!
I know how you feel and its
I know how you feel
and its WORSE when you have no children of your own and TTC. You have to hear about this kid AT ALL TIMES, get pics and videos emailed by DH and grandparents, stuff like that. I feel for you. I would just nicely change the subject, and that's all I could do. I remember there was a time he was going on and on and I lost it, due to the fact of TTC without success and how I all wanted was to be a mother and talking about his children with BM all the time made me feel worse. That eased him up a little. Although he did say "well you are like a mother to the skids" yeah ok.
Now that I'm finally pregnant, whenever he talks about the skids, I just talk about my uterus, pregnancy, baby, baby's nursery, how many times the baby kicked today, anything baby related LOL. Now he knows what its like to have someone not shut up about their child. And trust me, I think he gets the point now. When you get pregnant (and it will happen) definitely do this
Hang in there Xx
Congrats on your pregnancy!!
Congrats on your pregnancy!! When it finally happens for me, I will make a point to talk about it nonstop to give everyone a dose of their own medicine!
LOL that is true, I do get to
LOL that is true, I do get to do a lot more than them. I can go to the gym after work or go to happy hour & not worry about skid because that's DH's job. If I want to go out with girlfriends, I can go freely without worry. Maybe I should start doing more for myself. Thanks!