Anyone ever experienced?
Many times SD12 will want to stay with DH and I on BM's weekend. It's not necessarily that SD12 wants to be "with" DH & I, it's that she has friends that are constantly inviting her to birthday parties and such. DH & I don't mind if SD12 doesn't go to BM's, we don't even mind getting her to and from the places she wants to go. The issue is, even though SD12 doesn't want to go to BM's, SS11 does want to go...but BM will not come pick him up unless SD12 is going with her also. Of course there is always an excuse on BM's part for why she can't come get SS11 on those weekends. She will say "Well, I have to work all weekend anyway". DH & I both know this is a lie, BM works for her MIL and the place of business is open 9am-12pm on Saturdays (BM takes SD12 with her on the Saturdays she has her) & closed on Sundays. BM is remarried, and SS11 loves spending time with BM's DH even if BM has to work so I don't understand a BM choosing not to come get a child that wants to see her and spend time with her, just because the other child doesn't. Why would a BM make one of the children feel so insignificant?
Not sure, but regardless the
Not sure, but regardless the 12yr old should not be allowed to make ANY decisions on whether they visit a parent or not, they are CHILDREN not adults…they don't get to make those kinds of decisions.
SD12 always asks her dad
SD12 always asks her dad first if she can stay home to go to the "invited events", DH always tells her she has to ask her BM because it's her weekend, BM always says SD12 can stay home. It's SS11 that I am worried about and can't figure out why a BM wouldn't come get one child just because the other isn't coming.
I'm guessing with tog. It
I'm guessing with tog. It could be simply laziness or perhaps she hopes your husband will volunteer to do the shuttling which is what I would suggest. The kids shouldn't be in the middle of a tug of war.
A percentage of parents shouldn't be. Unfortunately they mostly learn too late.
The first 2yrs we did the
The first 2yrs we did the shuttling simply so DH & I could have that time together, but it was definitely was taken advantage of and so we put a stop to that. At this point we do feel they are better off not seeing her much, but I am still left wondering what this is doing to SS11 (whom we have always had issues with behavior, I am seeing why now) mentally.
Given the history of drug
Given the history of drug abuse with BM, we don't force visitation if the children do not want to go & BM willingly allows them to stay home. I do believe they are better off not seeing her, but then I have to wonder what it must do to SS11 psychologically for him to be turned away by BM simply because SD12 doesn't want to go.
And YES I have tried to talk DH into filing for Sole custody due to the drug abuse, but he will not & I don't have the right to do so.
Court isn't worth the time,
Court isn't worth the time, effort or money for this.