4 year old in a semi truck!?!
So...
We get my SS4 in the summer for a total of four weeks. I'm on the second week.
Somehow I managed to get delegated as the live- in nanny, as I am currently not working (on the 8th month of my pregnancy).
With a) the fact I am huge, pregnant, hormonal and ready to pop; and b) the fact that I reallllly don't like my SS and I have been forced to watch him, I am in a dilemma.
I have weekly doctor appointments starting this coming week and I cannot and WILL NOT bring him with me to these.
So I tell my SO that we need to figure something out, and his answer is to bring his four year old in his CDL semi truck with him throughout the day.
Well, as much as I'm like, yeah, I don't want to deal with my SS, I also see some complications here.
-My SS is a significantly picky eater, and will be in a truck for nearly 12 hours. What the hell is my SO going to feed him the whole time, when we have been trying to keep him on a pretty healthy regime (because he eats solely pancakes, mac and cheese and pbj at his mothers). Are the going to stop at MC-D's like ten times? And what about going to the bathroom?!
-What is a four year old going to do for 12 effin hours!! The kid has a five minute attention span, tops!
-I'm pretty sure there are some legalities here, like having written permission from the company, and he definitely doesn't have that. He had a verbal "okay". I'm pretty sure most of the construction sites he delivers loads to also probably have to have insurance on their property, so what happens when dad gets out of the truck to open his gate and kid gets out of carseat to push all the neat buttons that could cause ALL KINDS of problems.
He has the option of just staying home. Seriously. He makes his own hours. We aren't hurting for money THAT badly that he can't take off one day or just a few hours even while I am at my appointment. I'm like.... LIVID. I feel like this is just dumb as hell. And to think what this kid's mom is going to say when he goes home and tells her all about going to work with dad all day.
:jawdrop:
I do agree with you on all
I do agree with you on all points! However, I'm worried if he gets pulled over and doesn't have the proper "credentials" for having his kid with him, he could lose his CDL or some other issue.
The truck he drives got put "out of service" today because the brakes need adjusting and a few other things, so he already has that going against him.
That is a very real risk.
That is a very real risk. That's his livelihood on the line.
Thank you! Outside of my
Thank you! Outside of my concerns about my SS, I'm more concerned about my general everyday operation and how this can potentially affect that!
Think like a boy. Trucks are
Think like a boy. Trucks are cool and big trucks are the coolest EVER. The kid maybe happy as a clam.
This could be awesome for the
This could be awesome for the kid, well, for the first few hours
truuuuucks!!
But how sad he can be flexible and he chooses to work instead of spending this visitation time with his son. That's such a shame. A real shame. Why bother even having him come to visit?
Can he not even take 2 days a week off for four weeks to share the load?
And what if baby comes now? Are you full term 37 weeks yet?
Yeah, big trucks are really
Yeah, big trucks are really exciting for like two min. Then it is hot and boring. The truck is an old one, no A/c, really rough ride... And there are time limits on loads.
That's also I point I forgot to make. SS has been here for two weeks now with me. Every day. SO decided to work last Saturday even, which was completely optional.
I am feeling the blunt force of all of the parenting, when my own BD is at her dad's right now! I have told my SO that he should take a few days off to spend some significant time with his kiddo, but it's just not registering. It's really pissing me off actually. I don't expect him to be home the whole time, obviously, people have to work.. But being gone from 3:30am to 6pm and then crashing out when he gets home is just getting old... With the fact that I am doing HIS job.
And yes, I am full term. 37 weeks exactly. Just had a dr. appt and they told me any day now. They have changed my due date several times, and we just aren't sure. It makes me crazy because I am in a LOT of pain with this pregnancy (my second) and I'm doing everything alone. This is besides the point though. But then my SO doesn't answer his phone when I call, and I told him that if I go into labor and he doesn't answer, I will tell the hospital that he isn't allowed in the labor and delivery area (my crazy prego hormones talking).
Rage away my dear, I have a
Rage away my dear, I have a baby and it's still so memorable those feelings and the pain! Ugh.
Rest as much as you can.
Is he an otherwise pretty good kid? Not being a complete little bugger?
Haha, I hate being pregnant!
Haha, I hate being pregnant! I even try to tell myself that I am being crazy on things because of it, but man, I wanna spartan kick people.
My SS is getting better. That's as far as I'll go. He has made some changes, which is good. It's very difficult when his mother has a completely free-for-all mind set when she has him (which is much more often than us) and he has no discipline and gets to eat junk all day... At four years old.
Perhaps 4 weeks in the summer
Perhaps 4 weeks in the summer is just not going to work out if your SO can't put him into daycare or something. And YOU should not be the "or something".
I also think 4 weeks is a
I also think 4 weeks is a long time to be away from a parent at that age.
I'd be devastated if my child was away for a month at thAt age. Two weeks would be bliss though
Oh it's not 4 consecutive
Oh it's not 4 consecutive weeks. It's two weeks, then two weeks later in the summer. I should have elaborated on that.
That's basically where I am
That's basically where I am at. Especially with my baby due any day now, I really don't need the extra stress. I also have moderate cervical dysplasia that they will be biopsying and trying to remove right after baby, and that's going to suck with having to watch my SS also.
I agree that parts of this
I agree that parts of this could be really enjoyable for my SS and his dad. I also went with my dad to work pretty often as a kiddo.
The problem is that this isn't OTR, it's local and it's construction sites. Outside of anything I said already about the truck being messed up, a lot of the sites have insurance issues with having people on location that aren't supposed to be there. He thinks he'll just slide the kid in and out.
No, he won't be getting out of the truck, but there are issues with him even being on site.
It would totally be win-win without the issues there. But I really can't afford my hubby losing his license or having issues with his job.
Absolutely go with Daddy.
Absolutely go with Daddy. Daddy knows how to turn a truck off and set the emergency/parking brake. A 4yo is not going to open a truck door, I can barely do it, plus its like 8 feet to the ground.
Kid gets bored - so what. Quit worrying he'll be just fine and the highway patrol would care less there is a kid in there. I've seen whole families in the big sleeper cabs.
I don't know if you read the
I don't know if you read the part I posted before, but the issue is the truck got put out of service today, which means driving it tomorrow without fixing the issues that put it out of service in the first place is already risky. Putting a child in there takes it up a notch.
I'm all for father/son bonding time... And for me to get "me" time, but a four year old won't enjoy a full day of trucking like an older child might. If it was a half day, that would be different.
I'm sorry, I didn't realize
I'm sorry, I didn't realize how wrong it was of me to actually CARE about my SS and his well being, let alone that of my SO.
Let me re-elaborate.
No, I don't enjoy watching my SS all the time, I don't feel it should be my "job", especially when I can't even go to my real job. But I do it. I'm not really complaining about watching him in the first place, I was stating that I cannot take him to an appointment with me while they are digging around in my lady bits.
I asked my SO if he could take the last few hours of work off to watch his kid. He doesn't want to do that. My father offered to watch my SS (which is what ended up happening today), but my SO didn't want to do that at first. Taking his son to work, you're right, that is his prerogative. He is of course my SS dad.
I am not only concerned about how this will work out for my SS and SO all day (I have driven in the truck with him on SEVERAL occasions, and even I have enough of it after a few hours); but I am also concerned about the fact that the truck got put out of service. Now, if you aren't familiar with that, then your answer makes sense... But when a truck is put out of service, it is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVEN UNTIL FIXED. That is my BIGGEST issue. He's not even supposed to be driving the thing because of the "hazard" it causes to other drivers until the truck is fixed. He knows full and well that is the case. So bringing a four year old into that, and getting caught, only makes matters worse.
Sooo outside of the implications it causes my SS (yes, again, I know it's crazy, but I do care about how he's doing during the day), I'm more concerned about my livelihood if SO gets caught using the truck when the issue wasn't fixed.
And if this sounds like I'm being snippy, well, I kinda am. I came here for some support and what not, and you're kinda being snippy yourself. I'm all for advice and stuff, because obviously, that's why I came here. I suffer through things being a SM just like everyone else... But it kinda sucks that it seems I'm getting chastised by you because I don't want my SS having to deal with a long day of crap when the excitement wears off.
I'm sorry, I didn't realize
I'm sorry, I didn't realize how wrong it was of me to actually CARE about my SS and his well being, let alone that of my SO.
Let me re-elaborate.
No, I don't enjoy watching my SS all the time, I don't feel it should be my "job", especially when I can't even go to my real job. But I do it. I'm not really complaining about watching him in the first place, I was stating that I cannot take him to an appointment with me while they are digging around in my lady bits.
I asked my SO if he could take the last few hours of work off to watch his kid. He doesn't want to do that. My father offered to watch my SS (which is what ended up happening today), but my SO didn't want to do that at first. Taking his son to work, you're right, that is his prerogative. He is of course my SS dad.
I am not only concerned about how this will work out for my SS and SO all day (I have driven in the truck with him on SEVERAL occasions, and even I have enough of it after a few hours); but I am also concerned about the fact that the truck got put out of service. Now, if you aren't familiar with that, then your answer makes sense... But when a truck is put out of service, it is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVEN UNTIL FIXED. That is my BIGGEST issue. He's not even supposed to be driving the thing because of the "hazard" it causes to other drivers until the truck is fixed. He knows full and well that is the case. So bringing a four year old into that, and getting caught, only makes matters worse.
Sooo outside of the implications it causes my SS (yes, again, I know it's crazy, but I do care about how he's doing during the day), I'm more concerned about my livelihood if SO gets caught using the truck when the issue wasn't fixed.
And if this sounds like I'm being snippy, well, I kinda am. I came here for some support and what not, and you're kinda being snippy yourself. I'm all for advice and stuff, because obviously, that's why I came here. I suffer through things being a SM just like everyone else... But it kinda sucks that it seems I'm getting chastised by you because I don't want my SS having to deal with a long day of crap when the excitement wears off.
I'm not trying to have it
I'm not trying to have it both ways, there are several options on the table, that do not have any affect on my SO or my SS. I'm trying to make sure he doesn't risk anything by doing something stupid and getting caught.
He's a big boy and in the end, makes his own decisions. Part of being in a marriage is communicating and when something *may* affect me or my family on a negative level, I sure as hell will say something to him.
And excuse me, but I am pretty darn sure you know nothing about me or my relationship with my husband. No one is miserable here. This is just one problem in the grand scheme that I needed to vent.
Also, totally not trying to stir up any drama. I simply think you are overstepping the whole issue to attack me personally.
Last I checked, this was "where stepparents come to vent". You've offered nothing constructive to this at all, but to insult me and my relationship.
My father always offers to
My father always offers to watch my SS when I need help. As does surrounding family. So I do have a great support system. However, today was a last min. appointment and everyone was working, so I didn't have much option but to ask my SO. In the end, it all worked out, and my dad is going to watch my SS.
You're kind of just
You're kind of just reiterating why I was upset about this... My husband is being an irresponsible asshole. Exactly. Why do you think I am bitching? And please take your high and mighty bullshit attitude somewhere else... I'm clearly unsure of why you hateful people are even commenting on this or where you're going throwing insults, but I certainly don't appreciate it.
I'm also unsure of what I have said to get the backlash, but I'd love to be enlightened.
Flip side, he comes home early for a few hours, we BOTH pay the bills, I just haven't worked in a week because I've been watching the kid and because I am on bed rest. We are not broke or hurting by any means, and his job is very flexible.
Where exactly are you getting that he isn't getting support?
Thanks, knockemstiff. That's
Thanks, knockemstiff.
That's good to know. I have been a part of many forums for different things, and it just kind of bums me out that in a forum like this, with so many different sensitive areas of discussion, there are people who want to stir up some online bull.
The humor in it, is that these people clearly have nothing more to do with themselves than find online drama. You'd think they'd have enough with their skids and BM!
Again, thanks. Next time I'll keep that in mind. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I'm getting "attacked", but maybe I'll just be the bigger person.