Some advice?

Forums:

Hi I'm new here and after reading around a bit I decided to finally post something. Our SS4 informed us that his BM has been bringing her boyfriend around when the kids are with her. BM and I are by no means friends but luckily we do get along somewhat. DH and BM have a good relationship, which bothers me a lot but that's not why I am posting. DH and I think that we have a right to meet who she brings around the skids. They had an agreement that could happen before she brought anyone around. This is the first time she has brought anyone around. Her last boyfriend she told that DH left her and wanted nothing to do with the kids and doesn't help her financially and is a piece of s*#%. What is your opinions? Do you think we should be able to meet the me. She decides to bring around?

No. That is her life not

No. That is her life not yours or your DH's to control. If SS4 is telling you about her "trying" to bring someone around, then you have nothing to fear he will also tell you if there is a problem in the future. Then DH will need to address it. The older the SS gets the less you will worry about things like that.

Nope...Not DH's business and

Nope...Not DH's business and it is certainly not your business.

What are you/DH going to gain from meeting him? It is not like he is going to tell you he is a terrible person when you meet. Sounds like your DH is jealous or you are being controlling.

Agreed, your DH doesn't have

Agreed, your DH doesn't have a right to meet BM's boyfriends (or friends, or coworkers, or anyone else she might bring around SS). (You even less so.) Her house, her business. Your house, your business. (As always, barring abuse.) Besides, what are you going to do if you don't like the guy? Tell BM she has to break up with him? Nah, no good can come of pushing this, just let it go.

Although I understand the

Although I understand the concept and it sounds like the right thing for a parent to want to do, meeting the partner of the ex really doesn't accomplish much.

Frankly, I'd rather get his name and do a background check. That won't tell you everything but if he's got a record for domestic violence or is a registered child molester, you have something to work with.

You are right it is none of

You are right it is none of our business. We just worry about the skids being so young and who influences them. I guess we are just upset because she said he could meet him and went back on her word.

I think it sounded like a

I think it sounded like a good idea when they separated but like the others have said its really pointless. Daddy has to assume she has good enough judgment and that she will check out boy friends background before leaving the kid alone with him. Which I doubt. Daddy could get his complete name and do so, at least see if he's on the sex offenders list which in California anyway is public information.

I found there is one living a few blocks away. Of course any guy who pats a secretary on the butt can end up there these days making it kinda pointless.

There is no court order or legal requirement to do so but if she volunteers to meet then sure meet at a donut shop and have a cup of coffee.

No. That is her life not

Nope...Not DH's business and

Agreed, your DH doesn't have

Although I understand the

You are right it is none of

I think it sounded like a

I guess we are just upset

No, who BM sees and what she

I guess I got lucky with a

LOL same here! our BM has a

Sorry I'm used to talking to

You are here

Some advice?