Problems with my SS started at age 5 when he & SD came to live with DH, myself & my two bios(twins 13yr). DH & I tried to reteach SS12 & SD13 a normal way of life. SD adjusted very well & fairly quickly, after only 6mos of living with us SD's thought process about school/education was normal in comparison to other children her age. After a year and a half with us (counseling was also part of this) she realized that life with BM was not a normal way of living & when BM started claiming to DH that SD & SS both wanted to move back in with her, SD spoke up and told BM "I do not want to live with you anymore". SS has been a completely different story. After 6yrs of trying to help SS understand normal vs abnormal, importance of school/education & trying little by little to incorporate age appropriate responsibilities nothing has changed. SS is failing 3 out of 6 courses at school & does not take care of any personal responsibilities, not because he can't do the work but because he won't. During a family discussion Friday night, we were all 6 present, we were discussing everyone's behavior, schooling & responsibilities. At one point we were discussing SS's back talking adults (specifically me in that moment), when SS decided to make the comment & I quote "If someone doesn't respect me then I'm not going to respect them". I spoke up and asked how he thought I disrespected him? SS's answer "because, you always check up on me at school". Immediately following that statement, DH sent the other 3 children outside while we finished the conversation with SS. DH told SS that he had better treat me with respect because I was the only reason he still lived at our house, that he had given up on believing SS would ever change and be a responsible, productive adult. DH told SS that he no longer believed that anything we try will ever make a difference in how he turns out because SS doesn't want to be a successful adult. I am torn over how to feel about the conversation. Rather he is my monkey/responsibility or not, I don't want another deadbeat out there living off tax dollars, in & out of jail, & reproducing for all tax payers to end up financing life for. On one hand I am grateful that DH stood up for me to SS, but on the other hand I don't know what else to do to help DH not to give-up yet & to keep trying & that if we do maybe SS won't turn out like BM & her entire family. Please anyone that had Skids at a young and and now they are adults...PLEASE tell me there is hope to change this kid or help me get to the point DH is at and understand nothing we do will ever change how this kid turns out.