I had decided to disengage a couple of months ago because I had gotten so fed up with my DH inaction when it came to correcting his daughter inappropriate behavior and enforcing to 4 little simple house rules, clean your room, bathroom, help out with the dishes and pick up after herself. Well it appeared that things had improved so I reengaged with SD14. She was being respectful to me and trying to improve on cleaning up after herself. I started interacting with her again and spending time with her. We would talk about her school, friends and just general female conversation. I took her to get her nails done with me when I went to the nail shop I also gave her a few dollars to spend for school, etc. Well today is her B-Day. She was asked what she wanted for dinner, etc. She choose to have my DH cook something she knows that I hate with a passion. I was going to buy her a b-day cake but my gout instinct told me not too. Glad I didn't, she told her Dad she did not want cake but a pie instead no biggie its her b-day, let her have her day. But since I have reengaged with her, she has been doing some of the same irritating things that made we disengage in the first place. She refused to wash a dish, has not cleaned up her room or bathroom without my DH having to actually argue with her and threatening to block her from the wi-fi, which he would never do. Even then, she will half-arse clean. Every time my DH and I have a convo she has to jump in it and add her two cents, OMG I hate that! I f we go into the bedroom which she is not allowed to enter and try to spend time together she will knock on the door or text him every few minutes for something stupid. I can say that I am not a evil stepmother or person for that matter. After all the sh*t this child has done, I have tried repeatedly to accept her and have her as a part of my life and end up with the same result. I am so sick of trying, if I had know that she would be here with us full time, with all the love I have for my DH, which is the motivating factor for my continue to try to get along with his daughter, I would have NEVER married him. I love him dearly to no end but sometimes there are situations in life and the step issues being one of those times, that love it not enough. I am through trying! I am working outside of the home now and will focus on finding some after work and weekend activities so that I will have to be around her as least as possible. My sex life with my DH is non-existent, I cringe because there is no, I repeat, no privacy. She will stand outside the doors and listen. I caught her today, outside of my office listening to my phone conversation with my brother. I am so f-ing tired of this sh*t! I need some solid, helpful advice. Should I disengage again totally or is there something more I can do?