need some input
Me n my three kids been through so much. Years of domestic violence, abuse, foreclosure, molestation, suicidal attempts,l escape from evil toxic family ( mine). Being homeless.
To make a long story short, my boyfriend took us in to his home. We had no where to go, no money and things were getting dangerous for my kids n me living in my father the molesters house after police report. He was not living w us . He lived at my brothers house never w us he just owned the family house.
We moved n to my boyfriends house last November.January my daughter tried to kill herself bc she was molested. She was hospitalized and is now under care of psychiastrist. In February bf son (17 yo) stole money from his dad and blamed me and my daughter. Alot of crap hit the fan and bf realized it was his son that stole money though he never fessed up to stealing money til recently.
My 18 yo son came for a visit from college and noticed his coin collection gone along with other items. He was upset searched sisters room...nothing. He then went and looked in boyfriends son sock drawer n found some of his things minus coins.
My boyfriend flipped bc my son went SNOOPING! His son admitted to stealing dads money in February but claims he didnt steal coin collection. And that he only was borrowing other items.
My boyfriend got angry at all of us. For stealingand snooping.
He kicked his son out and told me and kids to leave. Too.
Kids and i began to pack our belongings. I threw out my items i did not need. After a couple days he told me to stay w the kids. His son stayed w his mom.
Its been about 5 weeks his son wants to continue living w his mom. My boyfriend is upset that he wont come back.
He is again mad says he picked "us" over his own son, thats why his "son" won't come home.
I just need some advice....clarity.....please.
Thank you.
Do you really want to stay
Do you really want to stay with a man who would treat you and your children this way in light of the behavior of his toxic criminal spawn?
You have started a journey to improve your life and the lives of your children. Keep on that path.
Take care of yourself.
Go to a shelter. They will
Go to a shelter. They will help you apply for and find an apartment you can afford on your own. Get a job (or a second one). When you're able to stand on your own two feet, you do not have to put up with shit from anyone. You have to get to the point where you are not dependent on others to meet your basic needs.
Your BF is being an ass, but I understand where he's coming from. I would never provide a home for a boyfriend's kids while my kid lived elsewhere. I would be outraged over my kid's actions, but there's no way I would kick him out and allow some other kids to stay.
It sounds like you come from
It sounds like you come from a history of abuse and maybe don't know what a healthy relationship is. It sounds like you are still making choices in the mindset of a victim, which means you will not attract healthy people into your life. Move along. Forget a boyfriend for now. Get on your own two feet and get a clear head.
Bazinga !!! You have so much
Bazinga !!!
You have so much going on in this house. Too much drama.
First priority has to be your daughter. She needs a soft place to fall ~ a home ~ not a house.
Can your bf offer that ?? That's a question only you two can answer.
He seems to me angry at his sons behavior & actions. The son is a criminal , he sees you guys as intruders and feels entitled to do " whatever" he wants. My kingdom kind of mentality.
Your bf can't seem to connect the dots. If his sons wasn't a giant assclown what issues would you have ??? His son has come into his own being ~ he has declared that he will do as he chooses. He chooses his actions not your BF. I would guess that your BF is mortified that his son is a thief and untrustworthy.
Because the son forced you all to accuse him of stealing your BF is probably upset. To violate his space ~ which you only had just cause.
My fiancé struggled with this issue with his own daughter. Seeing her for who she is was difficult for him. But all he had to do what separate his love for her ~ to watch her behavior. I let him figure it out on his own ~ but did support him. If he can pull his relationship out of the equation ~ meaning eliminate the title of son to him. Would his actions be justified ~ if your sons friend stole shit how would he feel.
The constant cloud of regretting staying w you over caring for his son ~ is a seesaw of emotions. I fear that snake will rear its ugly face in my life ~ when will that statement come out of his mouth.