It's never going to end, is it?
We just got back from vacation to Disney. It has been a yearly tradition with my parents, my brother and my kids since I was pregnant with my now 14 year old. We have kept up the tradition after my divorce and subsequent remarriage to DH. One year he wanted SS (then 15) to join us. We all reluctantly agreed because we all think the world of DH and didn't want to hurt him. SS never came and cost all of us a bundle in non refundable fees for EVERYTHING. Jerk.
Anyway, we didn't even bother to include the skids this year since they are estranged. Thank God
The day we are to leave, I get a phone call at 8:15 am that my mom (my parents arrived a few days ahead of us) is in the ER and is being admitted for a possible heart attack. I spend ALL day on the phone trying to get answers and getting her medical records sent to FL for the doctors there to be in tune with her case. She has cancer and is having surgery THIS Friday the day after Thanksgiving). In the midst of all of that, I am working from my home office and getting packed.
On the way to the airport, I get a phone call from my best friend that his brother was found dead in his bathroom. I'm already a complete mess regarding my mom and now this...it gets worse.
I then get a series of text messages and phone calls from another dear friend who has cancer and suffered a collapsed lung, pneumonia and is petrified...can I help her. Um no...I'm going to Disney World...
In light of all of this bullshit, I made a conscious decision to enjoy this trip to the best of my ability. My mom got out of the hospital (no heart attack) and we were able to enjoy a day in the Parks with her...at a snail's pace, but still. I consciously had to fight back tears as I knew my best friend was burying his little brother, a guy that I thought of as my brother, too. I wasn't there for this family and I had to NOT dwell on that. I had to push down the guilt I was feeling over my childhood friend who was alone and scared in the hospital as she had malignant fluid drained from her lungs and I couldn't be there to hold her hand like she requested.
And my DH? He was mopey and busy having a pity party for himself because his asshole kids weren't there! REALLY? F*UCKING REALLY?
OMG - get a grip DH. I managed to focus on the here and now in the midst of REAL BULLSHIT. Why can't you just knock it the hell off already? UGH!! I really can't believe you want these derelicts in your life. I can't believe you allow them to SUCK the joy out of your day. Yes, YOU allow it. It makes me sick.
It's never going to end, is
It's never going to end, is it?
Nope.
Sorry for everything you have
Sorry for everything you have been going through.
Your DH is an ASS. Wow! I would be really upset.
Yeah that moping and pining
Yeah that moping and pining crap is for the birds. Chef used to do this all.the.time. He would say "it's too bad the kids can't be here" CONSTANTLY!! Then go all sad sack, depressed and miserable so that anything done WITHOUT his precious peccaries became awful.
Just yesterday he said to me on a side job "it's too bad my [OSS] or even [SD] couldn't be here learning this trade."
I just thought to myself. . .ummmm, that would involve WORK which they have been taught by the BM that WORK is anathema.
Thank you Cat. I am losing
Thank you Cat. I am losing it right now, actually. I can't believe a person I have never met (you) has more compassion for me than my own DH. This made me lose it. It's all good. I've been holding it in all week and tears need to be shed.
He just can't see that his worthless P.O.S kids are just that and me and mine are here for him EVERY SINGLE DAY. We aren't important, only the people who treat him like shit matter. :?
Once you get past sad, you
Once you get past sad, you will then move on to righteous indignation. You have, my dear, a child chaser.
To this day if Chef's brats came back into his life they would be right back to number one in his priority book.
Ugh...
Ugh...
OMG...I don't think my brain
OMG...I don't think my brain could have processed all that info with out a little snap. God bless you sweety. I'm so sorry for all that you've lost and all the scary moments you just had.
Thank you. I keep waiting
Thank you. I keep waiting for it all to sink in...In the meantime, I have to cook for thanksgiving.
I'm so sorry for all you are
I'm so sorry for all you are going through.
He needs to be there for you, not be thinking of himself!
Thanks for your kind words.
Thanks for your kind words. I agree that DH is mourning, too. His kids have told us that they HATE all things DISNEY and they are 18 and 22...so that puts a little different spin on things. He'e entitled to miss them and feel blue, of course. My gripe is...he can't put his own drama aside to support me in my time of need. I ALWAYS support him when his kids treat him like crap and he's blue. ALWAYS. This is a perpetual occurrence. None of it is new.
Just last night I held his hand as he lamented on how he misses them and wished we could all be together for Thanksgiving. Even though, I was a mess on the inside because of all of the above drama.
Yeah, notasm. I was shocked
Yeah, notasm. I was shocked at this response, too. I decided not to reply. Thanks for "defending" me.
Thanks!
Thanks!
That is so scary. Sorry
That is so scary. Sorry about your mom. That is tragic. No one should have to suffer and no one should have to watch someone they love suffer. It just sucks all around. I'm preparing myself for this with my dear friend. She's terminal and it's only a matter of time.
I'm glad you have recovered from your lung infection and are well. Thanks for your encouraging and supportive posts. Knowing that someone "out there" can identify with my crap definitely does help.
It sounds like you're
It sounds like you're "blaming" yourself for being in Disney when others had issues and wanted you there. Please don't. You were there with your mother who also needed you. I'm sorry but your mother trumps all others in this situation. You were exactly where you should be.
I hear what you're saying.
I hear what you're saying. Thank you.
We had planned this trip months ago. My heart wasn't really in it when we planned it. I don't really know why. I guess, I sat there and thought if I had only listened to my inner voice and not gone, my mom may not have had her hospital drama (or at least not in a hospital 1000 miles away from home), I could've been there holding my friend's hand as she went through her horror of chemo etc and I could have shown my support to my BFF at his brother's funeral.
I'm not blaming myself, really. I just got bombarded from all directions AT ONCE and I still had to have my shit together...ugh. I really need a break from this shit. It's just going to keep getting worse, too. This is why God invented wine...