Feels wrong vent
The weekends, or basically anytime he has his 9yrold daughter, its as if I dont exist. He sleeps in her bed in her room with her. Everything and I mean everything, is about her, entertaining her, and keeping her happy. She literally can do no wrong. Its awkward in my own home. When I try to have an adult convo with him she is involved in it, he talks to her like an adult, and sometimes she sighs aloud when I talk (As if to indicate she is bored) and will then try to divert his attention with a video game or some other toy. I just found out from overhearing a convo between him and his mother,, that apparently theres a big amusement park trip thats happening in march that the daughter and everyone else apparently knows about.....except me. He hasnt told me anything, and doesnt care if I dont agree with it. (We were trying to save money for a down payment on a house) He already took his daughter to Disneyland twice this year.
Im depressed. Somehow I always talk myself into staying in this mess even though it doesnt meet my needs, show me respect, and its not even a relationship with any emotional connectedness. Ive never been married no kids and im in my late twenties. I must have low self esteem to put up with this. And I give him (them) lots of space. I go to the gym, pedicure, shopping, visit my fam in the area, get a drink/lunch with a friend, catch up on work at a coffee shop, jogging at the local park, i go to this community pool/spa i have access to, hell sometimes i will even go somewhere and just sit in my car for a few hrs and listen to the sirious radio or download a podcast. I dont know how to be LESS connected or more separate than I already am. I literally dont speak to either of them all weekend or anytime he has his daughter. He doesnt care.
He sleeps in her bed? That's
He sleeps in her bed? That's just sick.
You already know the right
You already know the right thing to do. Do it.
But even if you decide that you can't do it, or that you don't want to right now.... please for the love of God do NOT buy a house with this guy. Why are you even speaking about buying a home with someone who can't even hear your input on how you feel about your absence in the "family"? Why are you living with someone who you can't communicate with?
He sleeps in her bed in her
He sleeps in her bed in her room with her
Why, oh why, do women put up with this crap? Not to mention the rest of it.
Go find a real man and have a real relationship. One that adds something worthwhile to your life.
His actions are speaking very
His actions are speaking very loudly and clearly. Listen to them and leave.
Have you sat him down and
Have you sat him down and told him how alienated you feel? That you expect to be a part of big decisions and planning outings that are costly? It has to be a partnership between you and him, not him and his daughter.
Tell him exactly what you expect from him. Ask him what his expectations are. If they don't line up or he's unwilling to change the situation, then I agree with the others. Get out, find a man who respects and appreciates you!!
Oh darl..you're way too young
Oh darl..you're way too young to deal with this stepshit!! Believe me!!
He already has a wife.. a mini-wife and he doesn't need you. He's showing you this by his actions and remember..action speaks louder than words!!
You need to find yourself. Get out of this relationship and focus on making you happy.
It will get way worse, not better - save yourself while you can!!
Being single is wayyy better than being with a man whose already married to his child. If he treats her like his wife (sleeping with her, having adult conversations with her etc)..he's emotionally committed to her and won't have time for you.
I'm sorry to be so blunt but thats what it's like trying to be in a relationship with a man who is already committed to his kids.
Run..run..run..!!! There's a better man out there who will treat you the way you should be treated.
Now, I can only judge your
Now, I can only judge your relationship by what you've written but even by that I can tell that his priority is NOT you! You are probably an awesome, amazing person who deserves a partner that will love you, show you attention, and create the kind of relationship you want and deserve. Sounds like you could tell him how you feel a million times over but he'll never get it.