Will they ever get it?
My SO's kids asked him if he wanted to go shopping with them (20 and 25...so really not KIDS!) Anyway he knew what that meant, come shopping and bring your $ or credit card so we can buy gifts for our friends and boy friends and each other on your money! He was busy baking (he bakes carrot cakes for all his relatives each XMAS) so he said maybe later in the day. He then gets a text from BM saying how the girls are really looking forward to spending some time with him that day, his time is so limited with them, but no guilt. He said he thought he would just put a couple of hundred dollars in each girls account so they could shop (said he would probably save money this way and he was probably right) and he would meet them later for dinner. So he text the girls and told them he was sending them money to shop with and meet them later when he was finished baking for dinner, just let him know where they were and he would meet up with them. So after he finished baking he starts texting the girls, I'm done, where are you, where do you want to go for dinner. Crickets, he never hears back from them. My guess is they got what they wanted - $ - and now they were okay! He texts BM and tells her that he was busy baking and that he gave each of them money to shop and plan was to meet for dinner. But they haven't responded, so guess they didn't want to see me that bad! She texts back 'they bounce', he texts back 'lucky them'. He was disappointed I know and I know he sees the writing on the wall, but he will continue to buy them whenever he can. These girls get each over about $1,000 of money, gifts from him each year. He knows he's being used, but for some reason just keep on doing the same thing each year. I feel bad for him, but it's his issue and as long as he keeps going along it will never change.
I DID go away last year for
I DID go away last year for Thanksgiving due to the fact my own children always spend it with their father and his extended family. I was fed up, so bought an airline ticket and spent it with my own family in another state. I unfortunately married a single father who's adult sons' mother isn't in the picture, so HIS kids are ALWAYS at our house on the holidays. YUCK I've already told dh there most certainly will be holidays in the future that I won't be home for. If my kids invite me to spend Christmas with them (they live in other states), I'll be gone. His sense of obligation to stay home for HIS kids doesn't mean I have to.
tog, I guess you are right,
tog, I guess you are right, he thinks buying a relationship is better than no relationship. And I know it has to start early, but I always say, it is never too late to change! They are enabled spoiled girls who will not know how to function in the real world because mom and dad won't really give them a chance. These girls cry every year on their birthday because they don't want to get older!
Kids today, unfortunately,
Kids today, unfortunately, are partially the way they are due to the poor parenting of our generation. My 4 DDs (ages 23 - 30) certainly were raised to not want for anything and, up until recently I believe felt entitled. Their father made good money, so although we were not rich, they wanted for nothing and got cars both in HS and college along with college totally paid for. So, although we whine and moan about skids or, in my case, my own biological children, it is truly our own darn fault for making them feel special and entitled. When I was growing up (I am now 54), we knew once we hit 18, we were adults and on our own. Some kids today aren't truly adults til they're almost 30! Pathetic.
Agreed, it's not the kids
Agreed, it's not the kids fault, but their parents for raising them to be entitled and think that the world revolves around them. My daughter is not entitled, I've helped her at times, but she is hard working. Instead of getting new car like my SO's kids, I gave my daughter my old car when I got a new one. She was pleased as punch, it was new to her and certainly better and more reliable than what she was driving. When I suggested that BF get a new car and give his to his daughter when she was a senior, all I heard was 'oh it's not reliable, she needs something more reliable'. Well, it was reliable enough for him!
No, this is Daddy's fault.
No, this is Daddy's fault. Notice they want to shop and buy Christmas presents for their friends. They aren't selfish to their friends, but Daddy has taught them it's okay to treat him this way. He will continue by giving them all their Christmas gifts despite what they just did to him. This is how Disney Kids turn out.
WHY is BM still in the
WHY is BM still in the picture when the skids are grown ass adults? She has NO business texting or calling him. Ever. Pathetic. DH's ex wife doesn't even pull that shit anymore and she's a pain in the ass!
I would feel bad for him,
I would feel bad for him, too, BUT he brings this on himself.
And good grief, they cry because they are getting older and they are in their twenties? God, I feel sorry for the men they manipulate into marrying them.
The 25 year old is working at
The 25 year old is working at a high end hair dresser in LA, she just got the job, gets paid minimum wage, lives with BM and BM pays her car payments, cell, etc. 20 year old is in 3rd year of college, all expenses paid in a very expensive college and city to live in. I agree, if he keeps enabling it, it's SO's fault, because these girls will continue it as long as they are not called out on it and as long as both parents keep enabling! These girls get more in their stocking than my daughter gets for her entire XMAS.