What would you do?
I'm sure I'm not the only one, but it is seriously getting to me now.
SD15 tells her mother everything and manipulates it into me being 'mean'. It has been quiet for about a year now, so it is about the time that BM would rear her batshit mouth.
9/10 times in our house, I'm 'disengaged'. I say a polite hello and goodbye, and not much in between. We have a big house and it is easy to avoid them. (I've been doing this for about 2yrs)
If she asks a question?
"Go ask Dad."
If she needs something?
"Go ask Dad."
I don't do any driving, shopping, cooking etc. I've even stopped any groceries for her since the visits are sporadic.
You get the idea. If we go to my inlaws, I hang out with other people in the house and SD is typically with her cousins. DH will still occasionally complain I ignore her and am cold and distant... quite frankly, its because i'm the only one in this damn family that doesn't kiss her ass. (or give in to BM's ridiculousness) The whole family stays out of BM's crosshairs since she is so volatile.
This year I have actively tried to be more friendly, and in turn, she seems to also be more polite and friendlier as well. ( you know asking about school, boys etc)
The minute I wasn't kissing her ass, she turned around and told BM I was mean. BM got really ugly with DH over nothing, DH got pissed at BM, BM told SD that DH was mean, SD is now angry at DH.... It is so stupid. ( I reminded DH to ignore BM- he usually does)
Here's what I want to do... Call SD out on her shitty behaviour and ask what she has to gain by getting BM angry at her "dadddddddyyyyyyy."
What I will probably do, go back to hello and goodbye and nothing in between. Ignore her rude behaviour unless it is pointed directly at me.
I just feel on eggshells because she can take the most innocuous thing and make it an issue with BM- they are both complete drama. For he most part DH keeps it away from me, but his mood shifts, so I know something is up. We had a MASSIVE blow up last christmas, SD related. It has been a year since the peace was shattered.
I guess I've answered my own question... Life was fine when i was distant... I suppose I wanted to try again for DH's sake.
I thought the constant running to "mommmmmmyyyyyyyy" nonsense would eventually stop! LOL
Your'e a much better person
Your'e a much better person than I am. If I was in your position, she wouldn't even get a polite hello or goodbye. Absolute silence from me, even if she tried to talk to me or ask me a question, she would be completely ignored. Go run and tell your mommy that you little bitch.
ok- I agree about the 10/10
ok- I agree about the 10/10 times. I totally misjudged.
I guess I' just don't want the fallout (for DH) of what will happen if I were to say what you suggest. She will yet again go back to "mommmmmmyyyyyy" and say what I said.
am I just being a coward?
Let her tell her mom. Or
Let her tell her mom. Or better, beat her to it. Email or text her mother telling her you're tired of her lies and therefor will no longer be engaging with her. When she is at your house, it will be her a daddy and you will be out of the way.
LOL! I totally feel that! I
LOL! I totally feel that! I would love to completely ignore her.
The only reason I am willing to suck it up is because DH has really stepped up about her behaviour and how he deals with BM. He has the occasional lapse, but for the most part he does a great job at boundaries etc..
I think I was just so surprised by this latest bullshit.
Yeah, it NEVER stops. My
Yeah, it NEVER stops. My SD24 is married and in her own house, and she STILL deliberately stirs up shit between DH and BM. Fortunately, at 24, it's a hell of a lot easier to treat her like a neighbor I don't particularly like, but don't want to get into a war with. Polite and cordial when I see her, but I don't talk to her about anything that actually matters to me. It's not like she's spending EOWE any more!
ive been much happier since
ive been much happier since practicing avoidance.
SD14 continues to be a bitch to her father, and on the few rare times ive had to share a meal with her (holiday or family get together) i see that she has not made any progress with her table manners. i am happier not subjecting myself to her and her attitude.
we are gearing up for another court battle as its been 6-8 months since hte last one. BM's typical pattern is to start ignoring emails. She's read everything my fiance has sent but refuses to reply. that always tell us she's about to file something. we just have no idea what. she is the only one who has blantatly violated the court order. if she tries to remove visitation again my fiance is not going to fight it. he's sick of it all, adn the kid is at an age where she is gonna do what she wants (with BM's blessing, although not the court's blessing) anyway, so why spend money for another BS parenting plan that goes unfollowed.
I swear you are writing about
I swear you are writing about my skid(s) and their BM!
It will never stop.
I refuse to even acknowledge the skids due to the "she is so mean to me" bullshit. Even now, sd14 says how mean i am. I dont even talk to her! She is never at my house!
And dont get me started on sd19! UGH.... The things that girl comes up. geez....
Your DH is the only one who
Your DH is the only one who can change how SD acts. Good for you for disengaging, I am doing that now and its Soooo much better. All the skid and BM drama is out of our control. I found that out the hard way. Its when I began to detach completely, but staying polite at the same time, thats when my FH started to see that I was just not going to put up with drama any longer. Keep disengaged, why would you want to engage with a spoilt brat like her??