WHY?!?!?
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OMG... WHY do these grown ass men allow children to dictate pick up times? F#$%^K.
DH will wait until SD15 decides when she wants to be picked up before making his plans. Our plans are pretty much open, so it won't make a difference to me, it just irritates the crap out of me anyway. It also bugs that MIL will encourage the nonsense. She will change her entire plan to accommodate SD.
In other circumstances, if I had stuff going on, I would go about my business and either meet them or not dependent on the timing etc..
I know it sounds petty... just had to get it out.
it's so freakin'
it's so freakin' maddening.
The plan is to visit my BIL and family and just hang out. Instead of planning a time with his brother, and then saying, "SD, i will pick you up at 'x' time." He asks SD what time to pick her up, and then tells his brother, "Ok, we can be there at 'x' time".
Makes me nuts because I'm a planner, but his whole family is last minute. I truthfully think the last minute timing doesn't bug anyone but me. I just think allowing SD to essentially plan the day is BS. IN the midst of it all MIL told brother, that timing would depend on pick up... sigh.... I'm constantly going uphill.
Part of me wants to plan something (pedicure??) so they can all let SD dictate and I will get there when I get there...
Yep...I'm a planner too!
Yep...I'm a planner too! Drives me nuts when people don't see the need to make a set plan/ time/ whatever!
I understand I can be a bit rigid about it but it is just common courtesy to pick a time/ date/ etc.
DH is bad about letting the BM and SS's dictate times and places. Pisses me off to no end.
She used to try to drop the SS's off early here (while DH was at work) on the nights we would have SS's. She would text DH and tell him (while he was working) and just show up. I was usually never informed and they would just suddenly appear through the door. I finally caught on that she was pulling this stunt repeatedly even after I asked for a
courtesy text or something. So I started leaving. I would not be home when she would try to drop them off. I would be anywhere I could find but home. THEN BM would manage to text me directly asking when I was going to be home, I normally would respond with a "when Im done" comment or just not respond at all. Screw her...I don's answer to her.
Finally she started texting ME directly to make sure I would be home for her "early" drop off (because she had plans!!!) I would tell her no,,,I also had plans and DH does not get home until 7 pm so i suggest she not make plans until after that time so DH can get the kids. Now BM hates me....I do not lose sleep over it!
Pretty simple really, BM's lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part. DH doesn't get home until after 7, Don't make plans at 5. Pretty freaking simple if you ask me.
That would have made me nuts
That would have made me nuts too.
DH and BM have no CO. In their wisdom you see, it's better if SD15 chooses visitation and they "plan" accordingly. :jawdrop:
It started with DH never making plans on weekends in case SD was coming. He then found himself solo a lot because SD would ditch him and I would make plans.
Then he started trying to implement a 'tell me by Wednesday if you want to visit Saturday'
This became SD texting on Fridays for him to pick her up the next day. (sporadically, but often she needed something or wanted to go shopping) I lost it when this started. He'd pick her up and they'd hang out, but he'd have to take her home. (a few times he bowed out of plans to stay with SD)
Inlaws caught wind and decided SD could sleep at their house if we were busy... We have a pretty full social calendar- if there was a plan, and/or sched, I would ABSOLUTELY compromise.
So what happens? SD15 and BM dictate visitation with no worries because inlaws will pick up the slack.
Hate, hate, hate that. I laid
Hate, hate, hate that. I laid down the law on that one about a year ago. These are the days, these are the times - no variances. If you give them an inch they screw around with the particulars over about 2 days and 18,000 texts. I really will not tolerate 'them' further screwing up the weekends.
My DH and I will discuss
My DH and I will discuss plans then DH will turn to SS6 and say 'does that sound OK to you buddy' and then we get the complaining and whining. I have asked my DH not to do this because the two adults in the house make the decisions, but he still does it sometimes and it really frustrates me.
Step- I think he will
Step- I think he will continue to allow SD (and BM) to dictate the nonsense. When DH was abiding by and enforcing EOWE, it became constant fighting with BM and SD was a sullen hot mess.
Here's why I try to let it go- but sometimes it gets the better of me...
1. I have no involvement (no groceries, no laundry, I don't touch her room)
2. We make plans and 99% of the time he sticks to it, (for eg: next weekend we have a friend's 50th, if SD decides she wants to visit, no prob, but she sleeps at inlaws.) I have no part of pick up etc..so that's all him
This past weekend for instance, she decided to visit, and it inconvenienced his brother... not me. It delayed a BBQ by 2 hrs. (that's between them- my day didn't change)
He had a moment of bad behaviour because yard work needed to be done and i gave him a gentle reminder it was his choice to switch up his day last minute. He ended up out there yesterday instead of chilling out with a glass of wine.
LOL- yes!
LOL- yes!
Cos they're weak-assed
Cos they're weak-assed ball-less wonders who are scared shitless of their own kids. :sick:
VERY TRUE of NorCal! I did a
VERY TRUE of NorCal!
I did a semester in San Jose and found totally non committal people everywhere. Drove me nuts.