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i have come to a conclusion

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Sun, 03/29/2015 - 2:46pm

Forums: 
Adult Stepchildren

i have finally come to a conclusion. my marriage is dead. dh in all of his obsession with the skids has slowly allowed the relationship to die.

i now know where i stand. i come after his children, siblings and parents, and when the skids marry and have children, i will be place below them.

he just sees me as a source of income to have at his disposal.

now is not the time to leave as leaving is something that must be planned.

when i work weekends, a favourite day for dh is taking the sports car convertible out for a drive and visit a restaurant where one of the sds works. he will order a meal there and hang out probably having dreamy eyes all the while.

dtzyblnd knows the exact dynamic i am talking about here.

MamaDuck's picture

Submitted by MamaDuck on Sun, 03/29/2015 - 3:26pm

Time to move your DH down your list.

Find enjoyable things for you that will specifically exclude your DH.

Sorry he's a douche. ((hugs))

ctnmom's picture

Submitted by ctnmom on Sun, 03/29/2015 - 4:12pm

So sorry, for you and ALL the women on here who are put at the bottom of the list. When things were bad between DH and I years ago, I was leaving and some how, someway he turned it around. A few years ago when my drinking got bad and I got a DUI, he stood by me. (I would've left me if I were him). I still on occasion have to remind him that I am NOT "below" his mom, sister,CTBB, the job, etc. Why is that? Why do they shit where they eat all the time? Baffling. And no, I don't "allow" him to treat me like shit, but why must they be reminded not to?

canadiangirl3's picture

Submitted by canadiangirl3 on Sun, 03/29/2015 - 9:03pm

Hugs to you. I too can relate. I am
So sorry, it is such a flat out shitty feeling.

I read somewhere recently,
If your constantly wondering where you stand with someone, maybe its time to stop standing and start walking"

I know how hard this is. Wishing you health.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 03/30/2015 - 12:33am

I have never understood prolonging a dead relationship. It makes no sense to me. If you are done then be done. Move on or rekey the locks and move him on.

When my adulterous whore cavern crotched XW moved out to live with her geriatric Fortne 500 executive sugar daddy I had a date that night, the locks rekeyed the next day, and that was it except for the paperwork. She on the otherhand did everything she could to prolong the marriage. She wanted for us to date, hook up periodically, for me to stay with her when I was in town for business.

Meh ... Once I leased out house out I was off to another state within a month.

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Mon, 03/30/2015 - 12:49am

thank you all for the advice and support. many hugs back. many of you understand how i feel. i do indeed have plans on how to proceed and knowing where i stand in his life is empowering. i no longer wrap myself up in his needs as he gets his love from the skids. now i put myself first.