Help! My relationship with my stepkids are putting stress on my marriage.

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I have been married to my husband a year but have been together 6. We have two beautiful children with another on the way. I also have two step daughters which I have raised since they were 1 and 4, now 7 and 10. Our relationship was pretty good for a long time. Now however am having severe problems. The youngest is babied by her bio mom to the point where at 7, she isn't capable of much more than my current almost 4 year old without breaking down and crying. When we try to talk to her all she does is cry then run to her mother and tell her mother how mean we are. I do my best with them but am constantly criticized by my husband on how I don't treat them the same as my own/our children. It has now gotten to a point they are constantly stealing and using my things and punishment does nothing. My husband seems more worried about them and their feelings then trying to understand how difficult it is to be a parent and establish a connection with a child whom you did not carry. It always comes down to me and what I do wrong in our relationship then them just being bratty and selfish. Please help, I feel like it is coming between my marriage. So much to a point that I am happier when they aren't around, even though I love them very much and enjoy watching them with our children.

I'm so sorry that you're

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I certainly hope things get better for you. Will your husband agree to any counseling to help w blending your families?

I want to say I'm doubtful.

I want to say I'm doubtful. The thing is our children are their half siblings. They love their siblings and get along as well as you would expect any sibling to. The problem seems to come only towards me. It is also a relatively new problem they seem to have with me. I don't understand why my husband isn't more sympathetic towards me and the struggles of raising someone else's kids, he instead ignores me when I come to him for help with his kids.

"my husband isn't more

"my husband isn't more sympathetic towards me and the struggles of raising someone else's kids, he instead ignores me when I come to him for help with his kids."

I would seek professional help STAT to help you with this one as he appears to have put up an instant wall regarding your feelings and is incapable of seeing it from your side.

Firstly, lock away any stuff you dont want being used by your skids. If they ask for xxxx....get them to go and ask their dad for xxxxx as you dint have any to share. I very protective of my stuff, even with my own kids!

All your husband is seeing is his kids being unhappy. Has there been a specific thing thats happened where the kids all of a sudden start seeing you as the bad person? Sounds like PAS to me from BM.

The bm has always been an

The bm has always been an issue but talks just as badly about my husband as she does me. We recently found out we were expecting, but it will be our third and they have been through it twice with us before. Our or should I say my biggest problem is with his youngest who is constantly babied and allowed to do whatever she pleases at her mothers. Both her parents see her as sensitive and withdrawn so no one wants to yell at her for fear of hurting her feelings. I however do not feel the same. I yell at the others when they are wrong so she doesn't deserve to be any different. She is the one taking my things. Mainly make up and smearing it all over my house...bathroom floor, toilet, carpet, etc. It would be much easier if I felt like I had the support and understanding of my husband. Yes I a different with them but they are not my children so of course I have a different and closer connection to my own, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad mother to them. It always seems to come down to that though and what I need to do differently. He refuses to entertain anything of my feelings...even refuses to discuss having vacations without them. Why should my children suffer from having family fun because it's the step kids time with their mother? I'm just so lost...

Omg! You are not alone,I have

Omg! You are not alone,I have exactly the same scenario, except DH and I don't have kids together or me on my own. Try counselling ... It's sometimes better to for men to hear it from a professional, or two... Sometimes as the stepmom our opinion sounds biased in their ears for a natural instinct to protect and that wakeful guilt trip DH of skids are always on. You saying it is not going to help. You need to find a way to express to him how these things make you feel. Not what is wrong or what they do wrong. .... Best couple of bucksI spent was on a therapist. Yes there is the flip side of the coin where if the therapist possibly suggests something you doing wrong you DH will continually bring it up or only focus on that

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