Stepkids mom broke stepsons heart
We got a call from my stepkids mom last night and she told my husband that she'll be taking my 12 y/o stepdaughter this weekend, but not my 14 y/o stepson. She saw him yesterday with his best friend, another boy, who is also gay and jumped to the conclusion that he was on a date. She's never supported him being gay and blames me for it. But she's never gone as far as she did yesterday. So after telling my husband she doesn't want anything to do with my stepson anymore, she called him, my stepson, and told him that he was sick, an embarrassment and that she wants nothing to do with a disgusting (you can guess what) anymore.
His best friends dad brought him home. At the time we hadn't realized she would actually call him. He was crying and it broke my heart to see him look so upset! I know he's always been afraid to be himself around his mother, but I don't think he expected her to react quite like this after coming out last year. She continued to have him on weekends she wanted them and while she will never be mother of the year, we had hoped she wouldn't disown him for this.
I'm so angry right now!! I'm upset for my stepson who does not deserve this. I just want to hug him and tell him everything will be okay. Husband, stepdaughter and I were there for my stepson last night. He sat with me on the sofa last night and I consoled him as best as I could before he went to bed (husband and stepdaughter did, too) but he was still crying when I went to bed.
I'm sorry for ranting. This woman just pisses me off. I would love to tear into her and tell her what a horrible mother she's been to them, but I know I can't. It's very frustrating!
I know. I've worked with LGBT
I know. I've worked with LGBT youth in the past, so I have experience with things like this. It's just hard because I love my stepson so much and I HATE seeing him hurting.
Yes, that's at least one
Yes, that's at least one concern gone. It's hard to know if she would have tried or not. I guess eventually she would have.
We looked into getting her visitation revoked, but it could backfire in a huge way if we do. We're documenting everything, though, and hoping we can get enough together to help our case.
My husband could get into
My husband could get into trouble for keeping the kids from their mom (if she wanted to say that's what he was doing). That would give her the chance to go for full custody. So we've been documenting every time she has gone several weeks without taking them or talking to them. And this is something we might have to ask our lawyer about. Hopefully it will be enough.
My stepdaughter has told us she doesn't want to go to her moms house this weekend. My stepdaughter has never been as close to her mom or even really liked her as much. She has no memories of her parents together, while my stepson has a few.
That's the kind of woman who
That's the kind of woman who shouldn't be called "mother".
I know. I feel the same way.
I know. I feel the same way.
Despicable.
Despicable.
Definitely.
Definitely.
This is a very vulnerable
This is a very vulnerable time for him. Please utilize this organization. http://www.itgetsbetter.org/ It is created for exactly this situation. He needs help being able to look forward to a better time. This group is people who have been through this very thing sharing their stories for the express purpose of showing these kids that they can come out the other side.
Thank you for the link!
Thank you for the link!
Watching some of those videos
Watching some of those videos may very well soothe him and help him gain some much needed strength in a way no other adult can do for him. Best wishes to him.
Yes, she is! Thank you!
Yes, she is! Thank you!
this breaks my heart, no one
:jawdrop: this breaks my heart, no one should have to hear this from their mom! He's lucky to have you.
I know! She's one of the
I know! She's one of the people who's supposed to love him more than anyone else.
Definitely talk to your
Definitely talk to your lawyer and see if anything can be done. If a parent is a bigot or mentally unstable, their child shouldn't be forced to go visit them if they don't want to. If the parent was physically abusive, the courts would order supervised visitation. Why not mental/verbal abuse?
Unfortunately some people
Unfortunately some people don't believe verbal/emotional abuse is a good enough reason. Add to that the fact it's harder to prove in a lot of cases. But we will do everything we can!
I don't know. I could never
I don't know. I could never do to ANY child. And she does it to her own son, her own flesh and blood. The little boy she carried for nine months.
"I just want to hug him and
"I just want to hug him and tell him everything will be okay" So do it. Tonight, tomorrow nigh, as long as it takes.
He knows that you are his REAL mom and that the other woman is just a life support system for the polluted womb he is cursed to have dropped from.
He will be fine, it will take time. Be there for him and help buffer the toxic impact of his disgusting birth mother.
Your son is lucky to have you, his dad, and his sister. BM not being involved is no loss at all even though it is heartbreaking.
Thank you for the wonderful
Thank you for the wonderful comment.
I've been giving him lots of hugs ever since, as has his sister and dad. It's been really good for him, I think.
That beeyotch needs a
That beeyotch needs a FlyingFiveFistMonkeyCuntPunch. Thank goodness you and your DH and stepdaughter are there for stepson.
Oh yeah, I'd love to give her
Oh yeah, I'd love to give her one.
Thank you!
Thank you!
I want to slap that woman so
I want to slap that woman so hard. How could anyone do that to their own child? Ugh, it makes me so angry.
It makes me angry, too. So
It makes me angry, too. So very, very angry.
Wow. Just wow. My own DS is
Wow. Just wow.
My own DS is 14 and it's such a volatile age. I know my DS is worried about fitting in. So, that's a huge step your stepson made to come out at 14. That was very brave of him. He's stronger than he realizes, and maybe knows himself better than many of his peers.
How is his school? My DS moved from a very conservative, private school to the public school this year and is having a much, much better time socially. The public school is much more accepting of all the differences between the kids. It's refreshing. I hope your stepson is in a similar accepting environment. The environment of his peers might even be more important than the right therapist. Kids really rely on each other's opinion at this age.
And do give him plenty of hugs and love. He really is going to need it.
His school is very good.
His school is very good. They've been very supportive, as have his friends. There hasn't been much bullying yet.
His sister is also great and he's excited about the new baby, so he's looking forward to things.
He does need them. Sometimes he even asks for them, which I feel is a good thing. It shows he knows we're there for him.
Oh my GOD!! What a despicable
Oh my GOD!! What a despicable bitch!! Fuck, I wish I could slap some sense into her!
My Cousin's only Son was gay. We adored him and loved hanging with him. His Mom also had a hard time dealing with it. He was absolutely stunning - pure model material. He'd been approached by a few agencies trying to convince him to model for them. He was shy however, and preferred being behind the camera rather than the front.
He travelled the world and spent time in 3rd world countries, hanging with the locals, taking photos of everything. His Mom always tried to convince him that he was "straight". She'd rave on about the stunning girls who wanted to be with him and just broke his heart.
He committed suicide in February. Our world came crashing down and it hurts - it still bloody hurts. My Cousin mourned for exactly 2 weeks. then she was fine. I still find myself crying every now and again.
I hope his Mom comes to her senses and smothers him with love. Otherwise, then the bitch needs the crap beaten out of her for being such a pathetic piece of shit of a "Mother".
I'm so sorry about your
I'm so sorry about your cousin!
Join the club. I've wanted to do that for MONTHS!
His mother has gone from bad to worse. She was arrested yesterday.
Yes! I would love to do it,
Yes! I would love to do it, too!
So I wanted to post an update
So I wanted to post an update on the situation.
My stepkids mother came to our house yesterday morning at 7am. She was angry. Shouting at me and calling for my stepdaughter to come down so they could leave. My husband rushed downstairs a couple of minutes after she got here and tried to get her to leave. She refused. She got nasty with me and my husband called the police. Once she realized my stepdaughter wasn't coming down, she started cursing up at her, telling her to get her a** down stairs and out the door.
My stepdaughter came down a few minutes later. She was angry. Angrier than her mother was. I tried to calm her down, but her mother kept going on and on. Eventually she decided to snap at me again and said she hopes I lose the baby. That made my stepdaughter snap and she went ballistic on her mother, telling her what a horrible mother she has been and how I've been more of a mother to them.
The police came and she resisted. Continued cursing and screaming. Made some threats. I was a little out of it at that point. I was worried she would do something. So I don't remember everything that happened. My husband and stepdaughter helped me into the living room and my stepson came downstairs. He hugged me and told me everything would be okay. My husband wanted to take me to the ER, but I told him I was fine. Then, while my stepdaughter was pacing around the living room, getting angrier as time passed, my stepson asked if he could start calling me mom.
I was so happy.
We're now going to look into counseling for both kids, so they can get help to deal with all this shit. I don't want this to hurt them more than it already has. We're also hoping it will help my stepdaughter with her anger.
I hope the police witnessed
I hope the police witnessed enough that DH can get a restraining order to keep BM away from the both children and yourself. At least a temporary one until a hearing. After this blow-up I'd be afraid to have to send a 12yr old child over to visit with that horrible heartless witch.
They did. I don't think
They did. I don't think she'll be seeing her kids again. Or at least not until they turn 18. She's not safe to be around and I honestly think she would be violent with my stepdaughter. Especially after this incident.
Isabelle, Hugs you your kids
Isabelle,
Hugs you your kids and your DH. BM can rot in jail and needs to be there for a long while.
You are mom, your Skids know and so does their BM. That is what is driving her toxic bullshit. She knows she has failed as a mother and you are a success.
Take care of yourself.
Rags, Thank you so much for
Rags,
Thank you so much for the hugs and support. We really appreciate it.
Yep. She'll be there a while. I'm hoping I won't have to see her again in the next decade or so, but I might be hoping for too much.
I'm proud to be called their mom now. SO PROUD. These kids are my world and we're trying to focus on the happiness of a new baby. Hopefully this will be the end of all the drama...
Goddamn! Sounds like the
Goddamn! Sounds like the karma bus came to visit and now she's in jail - justice!! Let's hope they keep her in there until she's toothless and gray with nothing but gravy in her brain! Maybe she'll become someone's bitch and that will be the bestest karma ever!!!!!
Honestly, women like this should be castrated!!
It's awesome to hear SS has asked to call you Mom - what a lovely, lovely thing to do!! You're good for them and they need you so win - win!!! Your SD also sounds like a winner - and they both more than make up for their Mom's sick revolting behaviour. Please take care of yourself - keep baby safe and be super happy that you have the love of both your skids.. THAT is inspiring!
Yes! I have a feeling we
Yes! I have a feeling we won't be seeing her for a long, long time. Apparently this woman had secrets that even we didn't know about. So she might not be seeing daylight for a while. Here's hoping.
You have no idea how happy it made me. I'm sitting here because I've woken up early again and I'm still emotional about it all. Both my kids are awesome and they deserve so much for putting up with the train wreck that is their mother. But now she's gone and we can all move forward with our lives, hopefully.
I will, don't worry. I have three people here who won't let me do too much or get too stressed.