The Pen
So Sd12 was being overly dramatic during dinner and DP basically told her to cool it.
She got up, stomped off while yelling justifications.
DP told her to knock it off and grow up, realize she cannot always dominate the table with dramatics.
In retaliation she threatened, "Daddy I'd you don't stop I'll throw this pen at you!" He didn't and she threw the pen, with force. She missed him and it only missed me because I have good reflexes, and it hit my newly painted wall.
(Note that we know she has thrown things at BMs house but with zero ramifications so it was only a matter of time for our home)
DP lost it. He gave her what-for and ohhhhhh she was in her room sobbing the rest of the night. Yay for DP! He also has a plan in place involving a weekend of restriction if she ever throws something again.
He asked me to discuss that with her but I'm like, "No way. This is for you to handle."
We also have a plan in place for her to do mandatory chores! Chores! SD10 has been doing them on her own so it's time that SD12 helps too.
Who-hoo!
Good on DH for growing a set
Good on DH for growing a set and nailing the little shit for brains to the wall.
Tell him to keep up the good work.
I am of the mind that the why of shitty kid behavior is irrelevant. Only the what is relevant. When they choose inappropriate behavior they should bear the disciplinary consequences of those choices.
This applies to kids without developmental challenges of course. Kids with developmental challenges should get all the help possible to aid them in dealing with those challenges. Ill behaved little crotch nuggets get told, and they do. If they choose not to do as they are told, they bear the consequences of that choice.
Good for your DH!
Good for your DH!
Good for him for not just
Good for him for not just tolerating it! Of course in my home I would expect consequences the FIRST time for a violent behavior like that.
Oh she got consequences last
Oh she got consequences last night. And if it happens again they will get worse for her.
BM seems to do nothing (from what I gather from other people while keeping my mouth shut).
She next threw a fit this
She next threw a fit this afternoon about SD10 riding "her" bike. Which SD12 has ridden for precisely 5 minutes in the last year. DP put her in her place again and SD10 had a blast.
YES. She knew she had made a
YES.
She knew she had made a grave error the second I looked back up at her.
She has now received my "you are dead to me" stare.
In the few second of silence that fell after she threw it, and before DP found his words, I coolly told her to pick up that pen, right now and you know you hit my newly painted wall...(basically insinuating that she was now worse on my list than my wall)
Since then she's been fairly well behaved.
And if she ever, ever throws anything again I'm certain that DP will be all over it. He has very, very clear lines against physical violence. Me, I'm not above dragging her out of the house by her hair, sticking her in the car and driving her to BMs if I have to. But somehow, I think DP has this.
Although I have yet to really see "chores" started yet. DPs getting all fretful about the amount of dishes he's doing (disengagement works, yet again) and I think that will be part of what she will have to do. She is however, now responsible for cleaning up the entire dinner table after dinner, not just her plate and her sisters, but everything.
Oh hell no! Kids are labor.
Oh hell no! Kids are labor. Parents are management. When my kid hit his teens and decided he was all that he learned in a hurry that he was little more than our live in beck and call boy/chore bitch.
We tempered it some until he graduated from HS and then had his 18th birthday a few months later. Then he had a choice. Go to school on our dime, get a full time job, or be our scullery wench. He decided he was not ready for university (I am very proud of him for having the maturity and self awareness to stand up for that decision), he did not want want a job, so .... scullery wench he was. We worked that kid's butt off until he reported for USAF BMT.
I have heard some of your
I have heard some of your horror stories. Hopefully DH will find clarity and once the toxic spawn launches the two of you can get back to getting on with your life together.
I am fortunate that my wife had similar perspectives on parenting as the ones that I hold. If not... ugh... It would have been a nightmare.
Sally I agree with you - a
Sally I agree with you - a child must throw something at me? It will be the last thing they ever do.