Family Reunion This Weekend
Hello everyone! Longtime lurker, first time poster.
So glad to have found this site and know that I'm not alone. I have two adult SD's; SD32 and SD28 from hubster's first marriage (I'm #3). My relationship with the girls has never been great and they have done all the stuff I've read about here; openly rude and disrespectful, using their children as pawns to manipulate hubster, blasting him and me on social media... you name it. Typical behavior.
He and I have been married 5 years, together 7. He and BM were divorced a good 15 years when we met (he was divorced from #2 3 years when I met him). I've met BM and she's actually a nice person, but totally PAS'd those girls after they split up. Anyway, 2 years ago the day before my MIL passed, the girls and I agreed to start fresh and cut the crap. That lasted 3 days with the oldest. By the time we all left MIL's house, she had deleted me from Social Media and started in on a new campaign of hate. I blocked her on all social media so I didn't have to see her.
Since then, I've had text messages of a vile nature from her as well as her telling BIL, FIL and all the cousins what a horrible person I am blah, blah, blah. Hubster is the typical spineless daddy that does nothing. He said he just "ignores them." Which is equal to condoning this behavior in my book. SD32 likes to call wife #2 her step mom (and post pictures of her dad, her "SM" together on FB and tag him, :sick: !). I'm just "her dad's wife" and she's just hubsters oldest daughter. I've blocked her everywhere I can so I don't have to deal with her shizz. SD28 and I are on speaking terms and doing ok.
This weekend, FIL and StepMIL are hosting a family reunion. I'm really looking forward to seeing FIL, S-MIL, BIL and his new girlfriend along with some members of hubsters family I have not met yet (they're all out of state, so are the SD's thankfully). But, SD32 will be there with her BF and two kids (2 baby daddys). I know with so many people there, I can avoid her completely. But being the drama queen she is, she's likely to pull something. And she is usually successful in dragging SD28 into it.
A few things I have planned to keep me sane:
1. Avoid her
2. Look absolutely fabulous in the new casual dress I bought yesterday
3. Hold my head up, smile and be as classy as Jackie-O
4. Keep my smart phone handy to record any verbal assaults. She likes to do that and then lie about it. Never underestimate a 53 YO with an iPhone 
Any other suggestions? I'm open to any ideas to keep me sane this upcoming weekend.
I do. I get along great with
I do. I get along great with FIL, S-MIL, BIL, all the nieces and nephews too. FIL isn't in the best of health and S-MIL is a breast cancer survivor. I do want to see them as it may be my last. I've weighed this heavily in my mind and finally decided to go. It's 3 days with a lot of people to meet and get to know. I know I'm taking a risk of her bullsh!t. Hubster says she's usually fine in crowds. If she gets nasty in a crowd, she'll be embarrassing herself, not me.
Awesome!! It's funny.
Awesome!! It's funny. Hubster is half expecting her to announce another pregnancy (same BF as baby #2)
I like that.
I like that.
Yes, Sally, calling someone
Yes, Sally, calling someone on their SH*^*T is very uprooting to them. Good job.
I like this. Will try the
I like this. Will try the number thing too. Great advice.
I would do all of the above;
I would do all of the above; avoiding her is the best, with that said, if she walks up and tries to push it; I would lean over and whisper in her ear "you are breathing my air Bitch", step back, look her straight in the eye, and smile; then you calmly walk away, greet someone important enough to spend constructive conversation with.
I am serious; she can say anything she wishes to anyone she wishes. Deny, deny, deny. You appeared nice to her, that's all you need.
Have fun! Relax! Have a nice glass of wine or a cold beer!
I wish I could do what
I wish I could do what sammigirl suggested but it's just not me. However, I am often in the situation you describe and my SD26 whom I am disengaged from is frequently there too. I ignore her and make sure I have a fabulous time mingling with everyone else. I generally gage where she is and head as far as away from that area as possible. If she pushes in on my parade I quickly make an exit, got to go to the ladies room, or something similar. IMO it must really irk them seeing you having a great time with everyone other than them.
LOL my DH's family reunion is
LOL my DH's family reunion is this weekend too. I think his kids are not coming because they are conducting a campaign of emotional blackmail to convince DH to throw me on their discard pile.
My advice? Be the picture of grace and class. And if anyone is openly verbally abusive, tell them that you know a good therapist who specializes in anger management- would they like the number? And then, no matter what they say, you respond with an earnest "that would be a GOOD thing to discuss with your therapist!"
And if they really let it fly after that, just calmly hold up your phone and quietly say "recorded directly to the cloud. I love technology!"
Very best luck. Have fun.