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MIL is a bad person

Luckyone's picture

Submitted by Luckyone on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 3:47am

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My MIL has been angry at my DH since Christmas. His daughter didn't show up to our family Christmas party because she felt nearly a month wasn't enough time for her to check her schedule and see if she was free to attend. This upset MIL amd she is holding a grudge.

Mother's Day morning my DH took my DS8 over to MIL to wish happy Mother's Day and give her flowers and a card. She didn't open the card, and looked at my son after he hugged her and asked him which child he was as if she didn't know him. Then she went on to talk for half an hour about how wonderful her nephew is to his mom.

She did these things to hurt my DH, and I am so done. Who hurts a child in order to punish someone else?? I told DH I was done with that bullsh*t amd that I would never put myself in the line of fire again and I certainly would never again offer up my children to be hurt like that again. He in turn got mad because he thought I was overreacting amdnwe didn't speak all day. She won. She ruined my day.

I was so angry, and I am even more angry at myself because I allowed it to get to me and ruin my day. I am just so tired of the crap these people dole out.

Thanks for letting me rant. I hope someone out there had a better Mother's Day than me.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Submitted by CompletelyPuzzled on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 4:00am

Just curious about one thing. You said she asked him which child he was. Are you sure she isn't suffering from dementia? Its just such an odd reaction, even if she is mad.

Luckyone's picture

Submitted by Luckyone on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 4:18am

Yes, I am sure. She was making the point that since he is not a bio grandchild that he matters less than her 'real' granddaughter. It is just more of her hatred. Usually it is only directed at me but I wasn't there so he became the surrogate.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Submitted by CompletelyPuzzled on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 4:20am

Ok, I'm sorry. I misread that. I thought she pretended not to know your DH.

Luckyone's picture

Submitted by Luckyone on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 4:43am

I wish. Then at least I wouldn't have to explain to an 8 year old why people act like jackasses.

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

Submitted by CompletelyPuzzled on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 4:51am

I've been there. I don't blame you for being mad. My MIL came to visit and got upset because SD10 had to do chores. She told DH to make my kid do all of them. Then she told my DD4 to get away from her and don't ever call her grandma. My DD4 was copying her sister (SD10) who kept saying grandma.

Then when MIL got into an argument with DH, she turned around and threatened to slap my DD4. Needless to say, she hasn't been back at our house since and I refuse to bring my kids around her. I think you should do the same thing. Taking her anger out on a child is ridiculous.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 4:46am

I would never allow my kid to go to her house again.....

and the relationship between MIL nd DH - well I would simply ignore it, nothing to do with me....

Luckyone's picture

Submitted by Luckyone on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 6:58am

I absolutely have taken that stance. I told DH that she has ruined our last holiday and that I would never be around her again and neither would the kids.

I have taken the same stance with SD28. My life is better with them not in it.

I am just so sick of being the bad guy.

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 3:03pm

Sorry to read about this, it's very hurtful for you, dh and the child and YOUR parents if they know.

My mil was an ugly woman, manipulative, rude, crude and always the victim.
Finally my dh cut ties with her. He had to. DH has no regrets what so ever. MIL is now dead. We did not attend the services.

I understand where you are right now.

Your right, you are not obligated to spend time, call, write letters ect. It took many years to understand that I pick whom I associate with. That decision includes family or extended family.

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Tue, 05/16/2017 - 12:20am

my mil and i do not see eye to eye. one time sd told me to go to h$ll to my face. i was so upset that i called her and wanted a shoulder to cry on. i thought shed be understanding.

no so. she told me not to call any more and to not call again. not only that fil go involved and ordered dh to tell me not to call them again.

i cant say i am to sorry to hear about the misfortunes of these two bitter old people.