Scrape the money together for a lawyer. Every time BM is in contempt, nail her to the wall with it.

Keep records too - try to keep communication to texts and emails. My SO's cell phone records every call that comes in.....don't know if that's allowed in court but he at least let his atty listen to some, so the atty knew what he was dealing with. Document EVERYTHING no matter how small it seems.

Are you saying your DH and BM never married?

Next is this: You husbands daughter is at a huge risk living inside the home with BM's boyfriend. CPS should be called. Who cares that BM is pissed. Calling cps will put bm on notification AGAIN.

OP what you have here is a runner, that is why bm is moving. Also, does your state have a public website / data base where you can type in boyfriends name and all his current and past priors are listed.

Might as well run BMs name too. You may be surprised what comes up.

Its one thing for adults to make stupid decisions like having a boyfriend like Bm's but all bets are off when a child is involved.
Let what bm tells you SD HATE YOU,,roll off your back.
Please do what ever needs to be done to protect that child.

One more thing OP

METH HEADS wont hang with non meth heads....please call cps. TELL them to pull crack heads recent arrest and DH is very concerned the child is in danger.

BM may be a crack head too. Just saying.

She will deny it but for darn sure if she was not using she would have kicked his ass to the curb.

Wait... I'm missing something. Why can't he file for visitation without a lawyer? Your man can go to the county clerk's office and file a petition for visitation pro se. My ex-SO was able to do everything, from filing for the initial visitation (he didn't have a court order when we first got together), to filing emergency temporary custody, to gaining sole legal and physical custody WITHOUT a lawyer. We are in Ohio.

I am not a lawyer, nor am I giving you legal advice, I'm just questioning... has he even tried???

Not saying that you would even want a PAS'd little girl in your house, but I'm wondering, how serious is dad if he uses "I don't have money for a lawyer" as a cop-out? He is entitled to his parental rights. Simply Google "how to file for visitation rights kentucky" and you'll likely see avvo.com in the search results.

Read the Internet, set up a custody/child support agreement, figure out how to enforce visitation rights, and legally smack BM down every time she doesn't let him see his child.

Again, I warn you... this may not be in YOUR best interest as the stepmom.

If there is no custody order, BM can do whatever she wants. She is not required to allow DH to see SD, and she can PAS SD to her hearts content. Of course, there is also no child support...

Your DH has two choices-

1)Do nothing. Walk away from the child. She has been taught to dislike him anyway, and that's only going to get worse if limited or no contact continues. If he's not paying for her, just forget she exists and get on with his life. I only recommend this because it seems that by now BM has the girl well trained to not appreciate her father, and the girl is going to rebel against contact. If your DH does take the BM to court and only ends up with every other weekend or some type of limited visitation, it means that every other weekend you will have an ungrateful pre teen sitting in your house crying that she wants her mother and hates dad for the entire weekend. Its not enough time to "reprogram" her. It sounds like the damage has already been done.

2) Your DH does not need an attorney to fight for custody. He can file the paperwork with the courthouse himself. If he cannot afford to retain an attorney, and cannot even pay for a consultation, and he doesnt know what to file and the courthouse is no help, he can call around until he finds an attorney who will offer a free consultation. Then pump them for information on the names of which paperwork needs to be filed, then he can go to courthouse and file it himself no attorney needed. It is important that he has everything well documented. (As far as BM's and SD's behavior.)At the end of this, DH will be legally entitled to some amount of time with the girl and BM will be unable to do anything about it. However, BM can and will instruct the girl to be a nightmare while in your home. The amount of time that the girl spends with you will determine whether she continues to follow BM's orders, or stops and starts listening to your DH about what appropriate behavior towards a parent is. The more time he has with her, the more likely it is that he will be able to repair the relationship. Once this is over however, he may owe BM child support, and the amount can be significant. (Figure on 20-30% of his take home pay plus half of child care and medical expenses.)He will need to pay this until SD is 18 or even 21 depending on your state to avoid going to jail, regardless of whether or not he has a relationship with her from that point on.

In my state, proof of the mother being on drugs should be enough to secure full custody, and even without drugs he'd have a good chance of getting 50%. However, I warn you that status quo (How things are for the girl, what is stable to her) sounds like it has been well established by this point, so in many states the mother will have full custody and DH will have some weekend visitation, and will owe the mother full child support. He did not file to prevent BM from moving away with the girl, so once she has been away for 6 months, this is considered the childs place of residence and she will not be returned to him. If it has been less than 6 months he can still file in his local courthouse and they will retain jurisdiction, but if its been longer he must actually file the BM's local courthouse, and that city would be considered SD's primary residence. (Which would make a decent amount of physical custody unlikely)

The girl will rebel against time with her father because that is what her mother has taught her to do, and her mother is the primary caregiver who the girl depends on her for her needs, so she must be obeyed. The only way to get her to stop would be to have her 50% of the time or even full time with the mother having every other weekend. If your DH cannot secure this, the girls behavior will get increasingly worse, and by the time she is 13 or so you may be unable to physically force her to visit, so its likely visitation will stop at that point, although child support will not.

If DH wants a written visitation order, he can handwrite the request and file the motion with the clerk's office. It's that easy. Really. If he is stumped, he can look for motion examples online. While he's at it, he should think about what he wants. Look at examples online of reasonable visitation schedules. Draft a proposed Parenting Plan and attach it to the motion. If the judge likes it and BM just stands there and spews, the judge may very well just grant it. That's what happened with us before BM screwed herself out of custody.

Child support and visitation/custody are considered 2 separate issues by the courts, one of them is not contingent upon the other. Actually, its kind of a double standard.

If someone files for "child support" there is no visitation clause attached. Normally, the parent receiving the summons would need to reply stating they want partial custody. If the other parent does not reply with this request, than child support is assessed but no visitation rights are granted.

On the other hand, to file for custody, its called "petition to establish paternity, a parenting plan, and child support." Child support is then automatically assessed based upon the custody schedule.

If there is already a child support order in place, the current custody arrangement is 100% to mom, 0% to dad. This is the "status quo" or what is considered most stable for the child. Depending on how long ago this was filed, dad receiving significant time will be an uphill battle, he will probably end up with every other weekend.

Of course, since he already owes child support there is nothing to lose by trying. You don't need an attorney. Bring your evidence to court and ask for whatever you want, and maybe you'll get it. Even if you don't get it, you will get something, he is entitled to some time with the girl no matter how much mom complains, and probably 50% decision making for school and medical as well. Enough to maybe get a therapist to try and undo some of the mother's programming.