The soga of the PEE PEE beds continues!
My sd, her dh, & her 4 kids ages 3 months - 9 years came down. They could not make the date I had set to celebrate Christmas as she does every year. She decides the date and let's her dad know. This year it was just after the first of the year. They show up and although I at this point in my life I am never eager to see them but all seemed to go really nice. The kids were very respectful and grateful for the gifts and even sd showed genuine gratitude.
Later, osd gives me a totally LAME excuse as to why she did not bring pull-ups for sgs9 & sgs7. Said that their beds get wet anyway and she could not see having to do laundry AND buy pull-ups. I said nothing and just thought "LAME, LAME, LAME". By this point I really didn't care. I just want DRY beds. So as the 2 older boys are getting ready for bed I hand osd 2 pull-ups. After breakfast the next morning I find myself sitting at the table with osd & my dh. OSD announces "Well the best laid plans sometimes fail, the bed it wet". Immediately I hear osd's dh ask "where are the baby wipes" and so I get up and get my baby wipes since he could not seem to find theirs. We never came back to the subject of the wet bed. OSD leaves & I have to strip the guest bed because "GET THIS" the 3 month old's diaper leaked all over the guest bed where they had him sleeping with them. Also, the blankets on the floor for the 3 year old were wet. WHY? Because osd is too lazy to put a dry pull up on the 3 year old before putting him to bed and too lazy to put a dry diaper on the 3 month old before putting him to bed. The only dry beds were the beds that the 9 year old & 7 year old slept in. The 9 year old & 7 year old had soaking wet pull-ups but the beds were dry.
I had a screaming fit with my dh & let him know that the next time they show up that this issue is going to be confronted immediately.
Thanks for listening to my rant!
I think it's time for SD to
I think it's time for SD to stop overnight visits since she refuses to diaper the children.
I'm sorry but that's pure laziness.
My DD13 is SN and has bed wetting issues-if we go ANYWHERE-she's packed with diapers and wipes and extra clothes.
There's no reason for you to have to deal with any of this-make SD and her husband to clean up the mess.
You know that she did that on
You know that she did that on purpose to retaliate for you insisting on the pull-ups.
That does seem to be the
That does seem to be the case. I really wish my dh could see it.
Guess i would burn those
Guess i would burn those mattresses and not replace them. They can stay in a hotel. This is insanity. No way would i put up with this lazy and nasty mess. Does her own house smell like urine???? Burn the mattresses. No more overnights.
What did your husband say/do
What did your husband say/do when you were having your screaming fit? Is he at all supportive? I certainly would not want his daughter and her posse of bedwetters sleeping at my home again - she's had enough chances.
My dh is supportive but also
My dh is supportive but also afraid of loosing the relationship with the last of his 3 kids. He is willing to confront the issue at the very next visit.
Those poor kids. They must
Those poor kids.
They must have constant diaper rashes. I would have gone off on those neglectful parents and said as long as they allow their babies to lay in urine all night, they are not welcomed in my home.
You have tried every avenue
You have tried every avenue here and nobody is listening or taking you serious.
The next visit planned, telephone your SD ahead of time and set the necessary boundaries/rules to suit you and your home. No need telling DH, he's not listening, obviously.
Do you value the children's visit enough to disengage? I am not familiar enough with your family ties; I suggest getting moisture proof mattress covers/pads, that can be put in the laundry, if you do not want them to stay in a motel. These mattress pads are like normal mattress pads, with water proof backing. Very nice and padded on top. You are doing your best with pull-ups also.
I feel bad for the children. Their mother should be teaching them to take pride in their personal hygiene, which includes toilet habits, daily showers, brushing their teeth at least twice a day, etc.
She can train her children to get up during the night regularly; it takes patience and an alarm clock (even parents getting up to assist them). They can be trained to curb their drinking hours before going to bed.
I am sorry this is a problem that is dumped on you. What is wrong with your SD, if she doesn't love her children enough to teach/train them to be clean????
What a low grade parent. I would be so embarrassed in her shoes.
I have tried every avenue and
I have tried every avenue and OSD is definitely not listening in her bs passive aggressive ways. It has taken a L O N G time but my dh had finally agreed to the pull-ups. At that time he wanted to call osd and tell her but I already know it is better to confront her by surprise than allow her time to come up with her game to manipulate her daddy and make me look like the bad guy.
My dh is very concerned about the boys learning NOT to wet the beds and so the plan is that we will confront the issue at the very next visit. OSD will be told the boys have to wear a DRY pull-up to bed and that a dry diaper has to be put on the baby. Also she will be told that the pull-ups are her responsibility to provide. I am sure she will push back but that is the deal and NOT negotiable. The best part is my dh says he will get up 3 or 4 times during the night and get the boys up to go pee pee AND he will wake up osd and have her put a dry diaper on the baby. I think this is where it will all come to a head right there but it has come to the point of I will have dry beds or osd & her family will have to get a room at the local motel. If she wants to end the relationship due to this it will show HOW unreasonable SHE is.
It is amazing how I have put up with this for years and been made to feel as if I was the one being unreasonable.
Anyway, osd is lazy and I do not expect her to get her lazy butt up and do anything and it will offend her that my dh will wake her up & tell her to take care of the baby.
It all should be an interesting show. I may have to make popcorn and watch;)
Not a big help but they do
Not a big help but they do have pads that you can put on the bed under a person to help soak up anything that touches it. They only go so far but hey.
I second that- just bought
I second that- just bought the pads for all the beds in my house because my five year old travels from bed to bed and has had a handful of accidents in the past year.
It has soaked through my mattress cover and into the mattress which had been perfectly clean. I do my best to clean it out of the mattress, but it no longer seems that perfect clean and that's stressful. That's why the SD grosses me out thinking you either do laundry OR use pull ups. She really just deals with the matter afterward by doing laundry? Their entire house must stink so badly. You can't get that smell out completely, especially when it's happening over and over.
It does help to have a mattress cover, and then place the pads on he mattress cover. You can cover the whole bed. Then put on the top sheet. If no accident, you can just leave them in place.
They sell a water proof
They sell a water proof mattress cover; all sizes.....They work well and no moisture goes thru them to the mattress. They are washable.
Looks just like a mattress cover, but water proof underneath.
I do have them on all my
I do have them on all my beds. They are great and I am thankful I did this years ago.
DH can pay for his lovelies
DH can pay for his lovelies to stay in a hotel.
I guess SD is literally
I guess SD is literally marking her territory....
I wouldn't let them spend the night anymore.
"I guess SD is literally
"I guess SD is literally marking her territory...." Sure looks like it. I agree with other posters - SD may be lazy but she's doing it on purpose now. Put the moisture proof mattress covers on but don't let SD or DH know you did. The morning after their stay when they announce yet another 'accident', you can calmly smile and say, "No worries!" and leave them to figure it out.
The moisture proof mattress
The moisture proof mattress covers have been on all my beds for years now. I am totally fed up with washing the sheets, blankets, & bedspreads.
I believe she IS doing it on purpose and that is why with the very next visit I plan to confront it as soon as they arrive. NO MORE WET BEDDING!
My dh is concerned osd will get offended and stop talking to us. I am tired of being held hostage with wet beds as the price to have a relationship.
Jam you have been saying this
Jam you have been saying this for months- how can you say no more bed wetting? The kids are not to blame and clearly are very badly parented- the answer is simple and so many have said it but you don't seem to listen. Don't let them in!! Ban them from your home until they are dry- if they have to stay in hotels they will have to pay a premium for clean sheets- they shouldn't be given a choice. At all.
You are RIGHT! I have been
You are RIGHT! I have been saying this for months and before that I had been putting up with it for years.
Part of the confrontation will be "OSD, it is YOUR responsibility to keep my beds dry and if you are unable to do that, you & your family will not be staying in my home!
I am for the first time actually anxious for them to show up so that I can say just that!
No! You say it before they
No! You say it before they even arrive!
That does not work for me and
That does not work for me and it is hard to explain. First: I do not EVER call sd. I refuse to. I don't want my dh to call sd and lay it out on the phone as I feel it gives her an edge in her passive aggressive game. I want to look her straight in the eye & lay down the rules.
My dh is concerned about the kids learning not to wet the beds. That is a plus as he is more concerned about the boys learning than he is about offending his daughter. We plan to have the talk at the next visit but the best part is my dh will get up 3 or 4 times during the nite to get the 9yr old, 7yr old, and the 3yr old up, and take them to the bathroom, AND he will wake up the royal princess and tell her to change the babies diaper. Sd will not be prepared for the talk let alone being woke up to change the baby. Right there is where it will come to a head. She will get angry and not be able to be her fake calm sweet self.
Anyway, as nuts as it may sound to you, I think it is the best plan.
I'm not suggesting you ring
I'm not suggesting you ring her-I'm not suggesting you contact her at all. What I would do is wait until the next time and then say no, and if they turn up unannounced I would say nice to see you- I'm off for a spa break and expect clean dry bedding when I return.
Tell you DH that you are
Tell you DH that you are setting the boundaries, then YOU tell SD to use pull-ups and clean up after herself and her kids. Tell her if she doesn't do that, she has to get a motel, maybe in the middle of her stay next time. If she and DH get mad, who cares. Stand on your boundaries, that you set.
SD and DH can wash the bedding too.
Glad you are using moisture proof mattress covers. That saves the mattress.
I cannot fathom a grown woman
I cannot fathom a grown woman (SD) and her husband having the kids wet the bed and leaving it for you to clean up. Okay stuff happens (in this case it's laziness) but I can tell you if I was a guest in your home everything would be washed and there would be an apology. Sorry this happened to you.
Agree! This SD is NASTY!
Agree!
This SD is NASTY!
Nope.... they would not be
Nope.... they would not be welcome in my home . Their mother refuses to handle the situation correctly - they can stay elsewhere .
What is wrong with the 9 and 7 years olds ? Even the 3 year old should be potty trained fir the most part ? Gross ... and shame on thier parents . Shame on your DH for allowing this .
Poor kids
Whoa whoa whoa!!! Why are 9
Whoa whoa whoa!!! Why are 9 and 7 year old children in pullups? If they're still wetting the bed, that can be a sign of abuse...
That is so gross and I'm sorry but they would only be welcome in my house for daytime visits and no overnight stays... The parents should be ashamed of themselves.
Not lazy so much as
Not lazy so much as intentional.
If you really want it to stop
If you really want it to stop go to her house for a visit and forget to wear your adult diapers to bed
"Oh so sorry SD, accidents happen!"
Love it!
Love it!
No way would I sleep in a bed
No way would I sleep in a bed in SD's house if I were OP! Yuck!
This is just gross. These
This is just gross. These people should not be visiting anyone, anywhere, until they figure out why their kids are wetting beds, especially for the 7 and 9 year olds. Is there some medical issue that needs to be addressed? You should let DH and your SD know, that there will be no more overnights at your house until their children’s bed wetting has been solved. Your SD should be ashamed of this going on and do something about it ASAP. And seriously, you are expected to clean up after them, this should have never happened!
Any child can have an
Any child can have an accident but I find this disregard by your so-called "adult" SD to be a hostile act. You are a saint for putting up with it all this time.
Myself....I would go down to my barn and get the crappiest crinkliest plastic tarps I own and use them to cover ALL their beds, and then cover the tarps with sheets from Goodwill. You want to treat my home like a stable, you will be bedded down like the goats, lol!
I think this is a hostile act
I think this is a hostile act too! She does it so sweetly and my dh is totally BLIND.
Not again. I will pull the
Not again.
I will pull the mattresses out the door and dispose of them.
It is wonderful to have family AND guests stay at your home. Foolish to invite rude and dirty ones back yet again.
JMO of course.
Many years ago a dear
Many years ago a dear friend's Down Syndrome son wet the bed in my home at 5 or 6. He was delayed in his potty training. She was so apologetic and went overboard to clean everything up. I understood completely that this was truly an accident.
I think we both had the right attitude. She wanted to help rectify the situation. I understood that this was no one's fault and helped her clean it up.
He's now a wonderful young man in his 30s who is a delight to be around. I would NEVER mention this incident to either of them. It was just something that happened. That is so different from your ahole SD who is using her poor children to hurt you.
I agree sd is using her poor
I agree sd is using her poor children to hurt me. She hides behind the EXCUSE that the kids had an accident. I was so angry when she calmly announced that "the best laid plans sometime fail, the bed it wet!" No apology, NEVER an apology, no concern, NEVER any concern.
I don't want to embarrass the kids but it is certainly time to embarrass the lazy sd.
Either don't allow them to
Either don't allow them to sleep over ever again...inform them now that due to them leaving all that pissy laundry for you to deal with that they can stay in a hotel next time
Or
Encase your mattresses in about five layers of heavy duty plastic...lock up all your good mattress pads and linens.....inform them now that they must bring their own linens and pillows as all yours have been ruined by piss and discarded. They can bring their own linens and take them back home to wash. Or throw away...their choice. And they will also be required to disinfect the plastic covers on the beds.
And DH should have been doing all that wash while you were screaming at him. Next time no screaming. If there is a next time. Just pick up your car keys and the overnight bag you have ready in the closet and go to stay in a nice hotel until they all leave and the house is cleaned up again. If DH has to deal with it on his own maybe it will stop.
Actions speak louder than loud words.
I was screaming out of total
I was screaming out of total frustration! It has come to the point that they will be told in no uncertain terms that the bedding will be dry or they will have to go to a motel anytime they come down to see us.
Jam, This makes me angry for
Jam, This makes me angry for you too because it is more than obvious SD is getting her kicks out of the way this is affecting you. When you have to ask someone over and over to simply put pull-ups on her kids, and you request is ignored repeatedly, there is more going on than just the wet beds. I'm betting there are other passive-aggressive things that SD does while she is visiting that might not bother you as much as the wet beds, but still add to the frustration.
It is good your DH has agreed to get the kids up 3 times a night, and has said he will get SD up to change the baby. I hope he follows through with his promise but he may not if he is worried about SD being mad at him. If he doesn't follow through HE should be the one to clean up after SD and her brood, not you. Tell him you will clean up after your family when they visit and he can clean up after SD - it's only fair. It will only take a couple of times and he will be supporting you more.
I'm sure if my DH had been required to cook and clean up after SD, he would have been much more supportive of me.
^^^^^This^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This
^^^^^This^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This was intended as a response to the previous post!
In my mind the biggest issue
In my mind the biggest issue is that she as their mother is forcing them to sleep in the wet. It's not the kids, it's her, there is something not right and I hope you can get at least that to her father. Good parents just don't treat their children like this. I'm so sorry for the kids and the stress it's causing you.
The best part is my dh says
The best part is my dh says he will get up 3 or 4 times during the night and get the boys up to go pee pee AND he will wake up osd and have her put a dry diaper on the baby.
That's a lot of work for a visit from ones kid and grandkids (if he really does it). Not to mention, not his responsibility.
Your SD is disgusting and should be embarrassed. And your husband should be embarrassed that he lets his grown daughter get away with this.
This would be a knock down, drag out for me but my husband would not put up with this from his grown ass daughter nor would he expect me to put up with it.
I hope this all gets worked out on the next visit. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
oh dear.... now D|H can pay
oh dear....
now D|H can pay for the mattress cleaning... and he will pay for water proof canvas mattress covers, which will be over the beds if they visit.
Dh wil also pay for new bedding, expensive once, which will not be available for OSD and her pissing family when they visit, they can use the current once....
With the next visit, I will wake OSD up at 11 and tell her to change all diapers..... TF is wrong with this woman