This is clearly neglect. Part of having a home for your family is electricity, gas, water, sewer, trash removal, food, heat, etc. You are being such a great parent by helping this child with clothes and school supplies and the like. Mom may be facing some jail time and then where will the child go. I would look into getting a temporary foster care license for this child at your county. If she is happy at your home, go for it. Would you want your child living like this? Maybe you could call the cops on mom while the daughter is at school or staying over night at your home and tell them where she is and that she has a warrent. All the more reason for daughter to stay with you. If you are willing and have the room let her stay as much as possible.

I had a sister in a similar situation. Deadbeat husband who did not work and had 3 kids he was to pay child support for and rarely did. She was not in trouble with the law but she did nothing to help herself or her kids. I bought them clothes, gave her money for groceries which her husband spent on band equipment, gave her rides, etc. You can only do so much for people who won't take care of themselves and their families.

Good luck - you are a great mom and only want the best for this sweet child.

Turn her in...the first thing that Child Services looks for is Heat, Electric and Water....which does not look like they have. They will be there in 24 hours...trust me I know.....They really consider that this is neglect. They can have be the worst house keepers and if they have utilites off the kids will be pulled asap. I work for the schools and know this is a fact. I have a situation where the house is a disaster and because they have their utilites on it is not an issue. They have a 24 hour hot line for this...and they really get on it when the weather is crappy......Good Luck!

sg

Salvation Army, some utility companies have programs like heat share, local churches may help with some part of the bills or food vouchers, check your social service agency they may have a guide with places that can help with different things...

I hope you don't over extend yourself. This woman has to want to help herself or all the nice things you are doing to help her will only help her for a short time and then she will be back to square one again.

As the saying goes...

"Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime."

At some point in time this woman is going to have to learn to stand on her own two feet. Part of that is not only supporting herself, but her children as well. I understand your desire to help the girl, but you have your own family to support.

There are programs that the state and federal government offer to underprivilaged families and children. Unfortunately I am not sure if this woman personally qualifies since she has been incarcirated and a warrant out for her arrest. However her children should be able to qualify for these programs, such as free school lunches and free medicaid insurance. However it is this woman's resposibility to apply for these programs. You cannot do it for her unless she is deemed legally incapacitated and you are her guardian. I think you and I both know this won't happen, thus this woman is going to have to get up off of her duff to do things for herself. There are programs such as work programs that will help her find a job, even programs that supply interview clothes. There is TANF, Medicaid, Welfare to Work, Childcare vouchers, free training, scholarship programs, etc that this woman probably qualifies for. If you want, find out what your local office provides then bring her the pamplets or information. You may lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. Same applies here, my dear.

If you feel it necessary to call your local Child Services center then I suggest that is what you do. Your conscience will thank you later. As long as you feel you have done everything in your power then that is all you can really do. The rest is up to the PTB.

One thing I don't suggest is trying to 'trump' the mom by being 'supermom', know what I mean? I'm not saying that it is what's happening, but you might be stepping on toes that you don't even realize are there.

IMO, it sounds like there are a myriad of problematic issues occuring in that home, especially the druggie abusive boyfriend. I think if anything, if you can prove it, then he might be the reason why Child Services would remove the children. BUT one thing to remember is that (although rare) there are children in foster care, which is probably where these kids will end up, that are not treated any better. Plan very carefully so you can make sure the kids go to a good and loving home, whether yours or someone elses.

Good Luck, hon.

"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."

In our city just recently this winter, a 14 year old girl died in a fire, because the family couldn't afford to get the electricity put back on, and they were using a stove to heat the house, which caught fire.

It's a really difficult situation. Families shouldn't have the children taken because of poverty, but the family you're talking about is involved in criminal activity, which is the real reason they can't afford to take care of this girl properly.

You're a wonderful person for everything you've done already. I wouldn't know what to do if I were you, either...

I think the fact that you are torn about this is your conscious crying out to be heard. Follow your heart. This situation sounds really bad to me. If it were just food, clothes, heat...well I don't believe in breaking up families, but rather helping them get help. HOWEVER...meth addicts combined with heating from fire sources? Sounds like an explosion waiting to happen. And you know this BF is likely very abusive, mom's a criminal. I would intervene. You may have to sacrifice this girl's love for you for her best welfare. Tough, but....

how would you feel if you did not make the call and she died?

It's possible.

Goodluck.

Peace, love, and red wine

I agree with Chava that poverty doesn't necessarily equate to neglect. Exposing your children to drugs and abuse via a good-for-nothing druggie boyfriend does. A generator is great, as long as you can afford to buy the fuel required to run it. If they cannot afford fuel to run it, it's not going to help them. They can be quite expensive and what's to keep them from selling it? You could possibly rent one for them for a month or two, but if it disappears, are you prepared to pay for the cost of replacing it?

I would call CPS anonymously, not to make a report, but to find out what they would be likely to do in this case. They may not take the kids, but give the mother referrals to organizations that could help her. They may go so far as to insist the BF move out and only take the kids if he is still living there. Taking the kids is usually a last resort, simply because the foster system is not capable of absorbing all these kids in questionable situations. If they have food, clothing, shelter, are not being abused, have access to some type of heat and the electrical outage is a temporary thing, it's possible they will leave them in the home, as long as the mother follows up on the referrals they make. The kids have to be in immediate danger. If they are not, then CPS may be able to guide her to some helpful resources.

That's what I would do. Call them not necessarily to make a report, but to find out what they can/would do to help if you DID make a report. Once you are armed with all the information, you'll be better equipped to make a decision. Does the school know about all of this? A call to the guidance counselor or principal may result in additional resources or investigation.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)