Visit with the Guardian Ad Litem went Well- BM is already showing her true colors
Well DH met with the GAL last Wednes. and she came to the house to meet the kids and to see how SS gets along at our home Sat. morning.
The GAL says that the way SS crawled into her lap and just from her observation of him, she says she sees neglect- She said that if someone told her, that he was a big 2 yr. old that she would believe them,[he'll be five in 9 days] as far as his speech and actions go- She said that even if BM hasn't had him in daycare/preschool etc. that doesn't have much to do with his serious delay in speech, and that sometimes children that have no prior schooling up to kindergarten can speak perfectly with no problems.
The GAL informed us that BM had stood her up twice already, and then called her Saturday while she was on the way to our house saying that her boyfriend would drop the deposit off to her[the GAL] and that BM would meet with her on Wednesday. The GAL said, she'll see if it even happens.
Also the court requested that BM give us a number where she could be reached as her phone was shut off, well, the two guys #'s she gave to DH were not in service!
We were to drop SS off at a halfway point yesterday at noon, we went to the half way point and guess what? BM does not show, we called our lawyer, and he said to return home and if BM calls, inform her that now she must come to get him.
BM calls at 1 and asks DH "So... what time are we meeting?" DH says, We have been there and back already, the court papers said 12 noon, BM says "Oh, well I must have missed that, so what time can we meet, we can work something out."
DH said that The only thing we're going to work out, is you coming to get SS" BM said, "that's not gonna happen, and hung up on him" She called back 15 min. later and told DH that her father would be coming to pick SS up, 45 min later SS's grandfather show up to get him..
Stressful!
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good for you!
so glad to hear that!
We are so nervous though..
The GAL even said that we should look into schooling for him where we live, but she hasn't even met with BM yet- we're keeping our fingers crossed..
My best advice having been through this GAL/custody switch
Is to surrender to the process, keep doing what's best for SS, and let BM continue to dig her own hole.
Sounds like things are moving in your direction, but pace yourself. This stuff can unfortunately drag out for a very long time. With our BM, DH liked to say it was helpful to have a "cooperative enemy" (army term- he's FULL of those ;))
What he meant is what I said above, that BM is so nuts she cannot even manage to pretend to be not so. Sounds like that's true in your case too. So we decided that whatever was supposed to happen next would happen. We kept in contact with the GAL, and had SD talk to her a few times (SD was 10 which is helpful on some levels, but also easily manipulated by BM on others.) When we got the first report back that BM had claimed WE were neglectful and that BM should get FC b/c SD wanted to see her more, DH said, "Do ya think we should call her on it and say "fine let's try that?" I told him no, that it would play out. Because she proved herself a hypocrite there, when we went through mediation and SD asked to see BM for some weekends (we had SD every Th PM-Monday am at that time- shared parenting schedule) and BM fought taking her ANY. BM also never filed a counter suit for FC. So it was obvious she was talking out her arse.
Slow and Steady Mrsparks. Slow and steady.
I will take your advice The GAL told us "just be patient"
Wow that's hard! I can only imagine what kind of lies BM will spew about us, but she's already started a history of lying in the first court hearing and to the GAL as she keeps dodging her. So.. we will sit tight and wait...
cooperative enemy.. I like that..
Way to go! This is great
Way to go! This is great news--always call the lawyer if BM throws something at you. BM is well on her way to supervised visits.
It's insane reporting all that she continues to do
But hopefully it will all work out in the long run..
We just found out that one of her boyfriends did indeed bring her a portion of the downpayment today and is supposed to meet with BM on Wednesday, we'll see how that goes..
I keep thinking she's going to have the GAL meet her at her mom's house and not her crap-pit of a house- but I believe that they will have to see HER HOME and see where SS's room is etc..
We shall see..
They usually do.
They usually do.
Yes the GAL will not like meeting BM elsewhere
They are called HOME visits so they can see where the child lives, sleeps etc. As a matter of fact one thing that helped our case was BM moved in the middle and didn't notify the GAL. We told her. So she had to set up another home visit and that made BM mad.
So I'm pretty sure your BM will be forced to show her home.
Good!
I've never been inside, but DH has in the past
When you first get there, from the outside you see that the blinds are completely destoyed and ripped-[the plastic] kind on other windows- I can only imagine the inside.. she hasn't had a washer/dryer for a few years now so there isn't a time that SS doesn't get picked up by us that his clothes don't reek of this basementy mildew smell- she sent him in "crappy" underwear last time and this is not the only day he has had it on, that was evident.. How disgusting can you be....
I wonder if BM is
I wonder if BM is intentionally stalling because of how her home looks. Maybe it's that bad so she needs time extra time to clean it. But as everyone else keeps saying, be patient and let her actions do the talking. I am sure BM will have to show the GAL her house. And something you should do is tell the GAL not to let BM stall on that because then you will know she is "cleaning" to put on a good show! Good luck with things.
DH & I thought the same
He said her house was always a garbage pit, so we thought the same thing, that's she's trying to clean up her mess.
DH also said that her idea of cleaning is nothing like the average person- Can't wait to find out how it went, if the GAL indulges-