Frustrated with BM
My husband and I are back in court with the BM. She wants custody of the children again. Five years ago she gave up custody voluntarily now she is claiming that circumstances have changed. We have a GAL and the BM has the GAL convinced that she is "Supermom". When in reality she is just the opposite. We have not been to the final hearing yet but my husband and I don't ahave a good feeling about what the GAL'S determination will be. She has been arrested and conviced of a felony, lied, stole from the food stamp program, manipulated the children it goes on and on.
My teenage SS ran away this summer because he wanted to do what he wanted to do. After three weeks he went to his BM's house and now refuses to come home and the BM is not making him come home. Now the BM is trying to get full custody af the SS and the SD. She has these two teens convinced that they shouldn't be apart and they should be with her. This is a woman who has been unemployed and without a permanent residence for long periods of time in the past 5 years. She is suppose to pay support but very rarely does in the last year she hasn't paid even a third of her reduced support amount. I am so frustrated with the whole process and feel so helpless.
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Comments
good lord!
No job! can't pay child support! Arrested and conviced of a felony, lied, stole from the food stamp program. Only an idiot would give her the kids!
Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns
GAL
GAL report is only a recommendation. The judge can take all of it, part of it or none of it. If you have proven yourself, I would not worry too much. Worse case - BM gets son and daughter stays with you. I know that is hard but I have no idea how old the kids are to comment on how much say they have in court. BM's behavior over the past 5 years should weigh pretty heavy on the courts decision.
GAL
btw what is GAL???
hopefully you will get a judge with good sense but if the SS is running away, even a court order will not make him stay there if he does not want to-maybe he should stay with her and get a taste of what tough really is
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
GAL
GAL is a gariduim (spelling is wrong)at litem. They are appointed by the court to help with custody disputes. They "represent" the child. They generally interview the parents, family members, the child if old enough, do a home study on both homes, and many other factors to give the court their recommendation on what is best for the child. The court takes this info into consideration along with other stuff and then uses all the info to make a determination in the best interest of the child(ren).
I had 2 during my divorce and the first one, a woman, thought the sun rose and set on my ex. She said I was a flight risk - lived and still live in the same 30 mile area for the past 17 years. The second one, a man, was a former pastor and was wonderful. He cut through all the crap and helped us get along a little better for the benefit of our child. BF hated him and when the male GAL passed away and I told BF he said "good".
Thanks!
Thanks! I am still new to this site and it is very encouraging to read that I am not the only one with a crazy ex to deal with almost everyday. My ss is 17 and my sd is 14. When I say "Supermom" it is in reference to how she can turn on the happy wonderful greatest mom in the whole world. She is like a great con artist, BM portays hersef as perfect. And as you read eariler pulling the wool over the GAL's eyes. My DH and myself have tried to do all of the right things for the kids but it just doesn't seem to be enough. We have maintained custody lived without the BM support and yet the kids still want to be with their BM. We live in a middle class neighborhood, BM lives now in a one bedroom efficancy apartment. We dont talk about about the BM or any of the troubles we are having with her in front of the kids because these are adult decisions and they shouldn't have to deal with this whole mess. BM constantly involes the kids and loves to get them worked up with her drama and that we are the bad guys. If I were a teen and I could choose between a home where the rules and expectantions were non-existent or a home that has rules and expectations I would probably choose to live in the house where I could do whatever I wanted to do. But as parents it is our job to raise these children and not allow them to raise themselves. Not to mention that we have tried to teach the kids to be responsible, truthful, and caring. BM is just out to get whatever she can however she can get it. Deception is her middle name.
We have even put our ss in counseling to help cope with his issues and why he ran away. It is becoming a nightmare thinking about if she does get custody. The money alone will put me over the edge. My DH and I believe that is all she is in it for anyway. Once she gets the money then she will be back too her regular crazy self.
Since the BM started this new custody battle she has been ony half crazy. Calling the house 3 to 5 times a day, taking my ss to file his taxes and getting him to claim himself knowing we legally claim him(we didn't find out about this until after we filed our taxes) so now we have to figure out how to fix that. The IRS might find that interesting. She is also allowing the 17 year old to date or you know a 15 year old girl. That is totally unacceptable to DH and myself. The stupidity just goes on and on. ANY IDEAS ON HOW TO COPE WOULD BE APPRICATED.
taxes
Since he lived in your house, you get to claim him. He will be the one who will have to fix the IRS mess if he filed wrong. When a kid is under 18, the tax forms ask if anyone can claim them and if he said no that is tax fraud. The reason I know this is because I did my friend's son's taxes and he was 17 last year. Yes, his mom also claimed him too. Kids have to file single and be truthful on their parents claiming them. Not sure how much he made, but if it is under a certain amount if won't be a big deal for you.
Since BM lives in a small place with not enough room for both kids, I am pretty sure the court won't move the girl. Son is another story, since he is almost of age, there may not be any child support or very little if you keep the daughter. Courts do not like to seperate siblings but I think this is different since they are older and can "choose" who to live with.
Do you best and that is all you can do as parents.