So the CS hearing..
Anyone have any advice or anything that might be helpful in our case?
We went to our attny and he said its a pretty good bet she will get CS one because we make about 10-15,000 more a year but that was just going solely off of her income and not bm and her bf, although they counted my income toward DH, But my question was How is that possible she gets them for 8-16 hours a week and they rarely spend the night? What could they possibly need other than being fed in that time period? We provide their insurance for them, but attny said it might happen because of the income! I for one am going to be really P*ssed if that happens!
Also, I was talking DH last night regaurding custody and he wants to just go for it, but he wants to make our case really good because even though she did leave for 2 years attny said it might not be enough since she has now been around for 6 months, and since our county seems to favor worthless BM over good dads! I'm really at a loss right now because i swear we document everything, call the cops when they come home with questionable marks report it call CPS (even though they have yet to do anything), We note everytime they bawl their eyes out because they dont want to go to her house( which is everytime), but attny says we need more!! So i am open to any suggestions anyone might have!!
And as far as daycare goes, i started dropping them off today and BM happened to be there (on her lunch) she was like what are you doing with my kids and why are you here... I was like first of all i have been raising these kids and they call me mom, second of all i am on the list to drop/pick up the kids, third of all you had to work at 8am and DH had to work at 830AM i didnt have to work until 1130 so i dropped the kids off instead of making them sit here in daycare all day!! She got p*ssed and left... HAH!
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In the future, if she goes away
again for any length of time, you need to file abandonment charges against her. This will allow for you to further sue her for full custody/or terminate her parental rights. Also, if she doesn't have custody, WHY would YOU be paying her CS? I am seriously confused. If you do have to pay her, I would countersue her for CS. How stupid.
im confused too
the best she would get at this point i think is 50/50, so no one would owe cs. also, in most states, its just the actual bio parents income that counts, not steps or BFs...so why was yr income included? i dont think it should be. yr atty sounds like he/she may not know exactly whats going on...u can find a child support calculator for yr state online at alllaw.com u can see that ur income isnt a factor.
also,
if ur H is the custodial parent, i dont care if she makes triple what he does, SHE owes him something.
thats what i thought!
I told DH after we were done that doesnt seem right to me!! But i guess according to ohio revised code such and such that it says married income counts!! I dunno!! It confuses me too!
i just looked online
and i didnt see anything about partners on there...i really would call the CSE dept in yr state and ask someone else.
It's not abandonment.
Sadly, leaving your children in the care of their other parent is not abandonment, even if you don't have contact and don't financially support them. For it to be considered abandonment in most states, you have to leave them with someone who is not related to them within the third degree of sanguinity. (Father, mother, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, grandmother, grandfather... as long as it's an adult family member in this list, it's not abandonment.) True abandonment would be leaving them at a fire station, in a park, in a dumpster, at a mall, never picking them up from a friends house and that kind of thing. Leaving your child with the other parent is not abandonment. It's just shitty parenting.
You could have had her rights terminated if you had petitioned the courts to adopt them before she came back. Atty is right about the six months making it harder, but there is usually a window, such as she has to have been absent for twelve out of the last fourteen months, for example. Eighteen months out of the last twenty-four is pretty significant. I don't know what the laws are in your state, but being gone for two years means she missed almost all of one child's life and half of the other child's life. That's got to be powerful evidence.
They cannot use your income or BM's BF's income for purposes of determining CS. It'll be based on DH's income, BM's income, health insurance, dental insurance, daycare costs and the amount of time spent with each parent. It sounds like your atty is basing his assumption that you'd have to pay her on the 50/50 custody arrangement which you currently have on paper. Once that is changed to DH having sole custody and primary placement, which is the reality, she will definitely be paying. DH is paying the cost of insurance and daycare, I assume, and she's only getting them 8-16 hours a week, so she will definitely be the one paying.
I have to agree with your DH. Go for the change in custody now, then go for CS. With the threat of CS looming over her head, who knows? Maybe she will consent to your adopting them, if you so choose.
♥ Georgia ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
INCOME
Well his income is tricky he gets commission and they cant count that right? because its not gross income? if they take that out they make about the same but he still makes more!! She has benefits available at where she works but choose government medicaid for the kids while we pay out of pocket on a plan about 150 a month!! So there they could stick it to her because in the decree if its provided by work they have to take it!
The big thing i dont get is in the shared parenting plan they both waived rights to child support, but she goes after it anyways? Attny said that should be a factor, but might not matter!!
called dh from work and told him about the income thing so he is going back to make sure of that!!
Also i have another question as far as what they pay out a month for "childs well being" house paymts, utilities, and such, do the utilities count and if they do, does it have to be in their name? Like BM have virtually no utilities or bills in her name( they have to bring copies of bills), therefore what she pays out a month goes down vs. DH.. because we put everything in his name with the exception of the house in both our names and the cars are paid off.. SO wouldnt that make it seem like we pay more than her, therefore granting us CS? which we dont need but if thats the way it plays out we are taking it!
Commission
This does get tricky. If she knows about it or if they ask about it, then you have to be truthful and disclose it. I'd be prepared to show what he receives on commission so that a fair average can be determined based on as much history as you can document. But I wouldn't volunteer the information, unless you have to. It's still income, even though it's uncertain. They will probably want to see tax returns.
Utilities... that's interesting that you have to take bills. I don't remember us having to do that, but maybe we did and I just forgot. I know BM and DH had to show what they each pay for medical/dental insurance, life insurance, daycare expenses and that kind of thing. I don't think they had to do utilities. Different state, though. But I think you are right... the more you can show you pay, the better off you will be. I'd even go so far as to get together all your receipts for out-of-pocket medical and dental expenses for these kids so that you can show that, because in addition to CS, she should also be paying for 50% of any uninsured medical and dental costs. If you really want to scare the bejesus out of her, request that she also provide a life insurance policy payable to DH in the event of her death, since she won't be able to make CS payments from the grave. Do some brainstorming and get creative. Kids cost so much and those nickels and dimes add up.
♥ Georgia ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
here
what u spend in utilities, mortagage, etc doesnt count...yr take home pay doesnt even count its just gross. my fiance had to submit a balance sheet that showed he couldnt afford ANY CS bc he had NO money left over but it didnt matter. hope its different in yr state and u guys get a break. as far as i know, the one who is the NCP has to pay something, regardless of who makes more.
be prepared
for anything, my DH is worse off now after 2 years of fighting this then he was when the first order came. we are starting round two soon to try and get it lowered. its all about the moms just remember that. My SS mom doesnt work and that seems to be just fine with the system that only one parent has to support these kids. she worked before when they were together, so the county did not imput her income from her previous job and went by min. wage for her share of support, but yet they told my DH if he takes a lower paying job that he might be stuck paying that amount hat hes ordered to pay, what a crock of Shit, good luck hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.oh by the way my income didn't count
Sounds to me...
It sounds to me like you need to get a second opinion. Your lawyer seems to have some really bad ideas on things. I can't believe that a parent who only spends 8-16 hours a week with their kids could EVER get child support! Regardless of how much more money your family has than hers (and your income should not be a part of the CS calculation, that's another weird thing) that's just silly that you'd have to pay her when you guys are the ones caring for the child the majority of the time.
During our last CS calculation, BM was bringing in $2400 a month and BF was bringing in $800 a month. BF had SS 80 days a year. But BF still ends up paying BM CS. Why in the world would the custodial parent pay the NCP child support?!
Yeah, I'd really suggest for you guys to get a second opinion.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
I have read
I have read that sometimes if there is a huge disparity in income, the CP will still end up paying CS to the NCP. They call that "best interest of the children." Basically what you end up doing is not only supporting the kids when they are with you, but also supporting the kids when they are with BM.
And please watch the "they call me mom" stuff...judges can view that as you alienating the children from their mother. It doesn't matter that you HAVE been the mom since these kids were wee ones; in the eyes of the court SHE and SHE ALONE is their mom. They will support the BM in reestablishing a relationship with her kids even to the point of eventually giving her custody of the kids she all but abandoned.
Nuts, ain't it?
This is what attny is going off of..
3119.24 Shared parenting order child support provisions.
(A)(1) A court that issues a shared parenting order in accordance with section 3109.04 of the Revised Code shall order an amount of child support to be paid under the child support order that is calculated in accordance with the schedule and with the worksheet set forth in section 3119.022 of the Revised Code, through the line establishing the actual annual obligation, except that, if that amount would be unjust or inappropriate to the children or either parent and would not be in the best interest of the child because of the extraordinary circumstances of the parents or because of any other factors or criteria set forth in section 3119.23 of the Revised Code, the court may deviate from that amount.
(2) The court shall consider extraordinary circumstances and other factors or criteria if it deviates from the amount described in division (A)(1) of this section and shall enter in the journal the amount described in division (A)(1) of this section its determination that the amount would be unjust or inappropriate and would not be in the best interest of the child, and findings of fact supporting its determination.
(B) For the purposes of this section, “extraordinary circumstances of the parents” includes all of the following:
(1) The amount of time the children spend with each parent;
(2) The ability of each parent to maintain adequate housing for the children;
(3) Each parent’s expenses, including child care expenses, school tuition, medical expenses, dental expenses, and any other expenses the court considers relevant;
(4) Any other circumstances the court considers relevant.
interesting
What you posted only mentions the parents - not the step parent(s) or significant other, so how could your income be included? You are not the parent in the legal or biological sense. You are a parent in the bonus kind of way - you do the stuff "normal" parents do but you are legally required to do and you do because you choose to...
RE:
I did two different Ohio child support calculators, and used NCP income as $20,000 per year and CP income as $35,000 per year since all I know is that you two together make about $15k more than she does (however they should not be taking your income into account in this calculation).
In both calculations, it stated that the monthly CS obligation of the NCP would be $325.
Reading the law that you quoted and considering this calculation, I really don't understand how you guys could end up paying her CS?
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
APPARENTLY...
I mis-understood what attny was doing i thought he was going off both of our incomes DH and I talked it over last night and he said that when we went for our little appt to discuss all of this that attny was giving us different options to discuss during court and what we "can" and "cannot" count and i guess DH asked him if they were counting my income , Apparently he said no, I guess i wasnt paying much attention cause frankly im sick of sitting in a court room and in an attnys office for BM, i think this our of 6th trip since she has been back!! I was worried after reading all of this!! So im glad i brought something up to DH about it, i was thinking we are about to get SCREWED!! Which attny said we might be anyways, he said we might only have to pay 50 a month, but i personally dont think the worthless bitch should get a dime!!
I'm in the same area as you...
And wondering who your attorney is - though you could PM me with that if you want. Ours is an old school, downtown office sorta guy, who has the nickname "Bulldog" around town - just they guy we wanted
BM conceded custody to us after a year of pre-trials, at about 4 pm the night before the trial. This was due to the guardian ad litem report (where SD's psychologist stated we should have custody, as did the GAL.)
I think I would ask your attorney if the best thing to do is wait it out and see if BM goes into contempt for her court bills. If he thinks you should then go for full custody, I would jump.
Anyway"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra