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What is a vacation? I forget....

mediocrityrulesman's picture

This summer BM finally decided that doing an every other week schedule with SD 7 was the proper thing to do. I hate to say I told ya so but....THAT WAS MY IDEA LAST YEAR! But BM said, 'no thats too often of a switch.' And every weekend isn't...? But whatever. So we get SD every other week and we've had her twice so far. I believe it works out so she spends equal time both here and there.
BM was supposed to register SD for day camp during the weeks she was there but according to SD, she forgot and now she isn't able to go. I don't think BM 'forgot' at all. She just got married so I doubt she had the money for day camp. If she DID have the funds for camp I would have been a little pissed because BM keeps telling us to send SD back in the clothes that she wore here because its the only pair of shorts or tank top she has that fit her.......wtf?! I told BM as soon as I saw that SD wasn't fitting into a 7/8 anymore that she'd need more clothes for summer because she'd grown out of everything here and BM STILL hasn't bought anything for the girl? What's up with that?
I'm sick of being concerned about things and not being able to do anything about it. Part of me wants to document every little 'wtf moment' but part of me doesnt because I dont think it would be valid to a judge anyway. Is that selfish?

SD said a few things besides the camp ordeal that made me raise an eyebrow. BM is so convinced that SD taking all these pills are making her behavior better but I don't think SD should be taking a daily; Zyrtec pill, Fish Oil pill, Omega 3 pill, and nasal spray. The Zyrtec I understand, the kid has allergies...fine. I give her an allergy pill only when she says her allergies are bothering her and she gets a chewable active kids multi vitamin and she survives here just fine. I just think BM is potentially turning SD into a hypochondriac. Every little pain is a huge deal for SD, even one she had the day before. She has a pain in her foot, it's broken. She sneezes, she has the flu. Gimme a break!
SD also says nonchalantly, 'I've been slacking with my teeth at my moms.' Meaning she's not been brushing. Umm....what the hell? I'm sorry but I make it a point to make sure SD brushes her teeth and a slip up is rare because she has routine's here. As soon as she's done getting dressed in the mornings, she goes straight to the bathroom and brushes her teeth and hair. Not so long ago, BM raised HELL because she thought SD was living with no rules here, (SD had been lying to her about what she did here but we've moved on.) and I told BM that she has a routine here everyday and 'chores' that list the things she should be doing every day like, brushing teeth, brushing hair, making her bed, putting her clothes in her hamper, getting clean at night etc. I just fine it a little hypocritical that SD is 'slacking' at BM's house and BM needed reassurence that SD was doing the things here she needed to be doing.
I may be 21, I may have a 16 month old daughter and a little boy due anytime now, but I know how to make sure the children under my roof are taken care of...properly.
I also posted on Nymh's blog about the ammonia smell in BM's apartment and how SD smells when she comes to us. Sure, the fact that I'm pregnant doesnt make my nose any less forgiving with smells but it really is breath taking (not in the good way).
Another thing that has had me worried since I first met SD when she was 5 is a feminine hygeine problem. ::The weak stomached skip this section:: I used to do SD's and my daughters laundry together because I used Dreft, the baby detergent, I don't anymore. SD's laundry goes in alone. A while back I caught a glimpse of SD's undies and they were yellow and crusty. I thought nothing of it at first, until I noticed her ALWAYS scratching herself no matter WHERE she was. I asked her if it itched, she said yes. I couldnt take SD to the Dr.s so I asked H to mention it to BM. Nothing happened for a year and I kept seeing the same underwear she left in come back on her the next weekend. BM has to go to the laundromat and according to H they do it every month because he's had to watch SD while they go do laundry. Chances are, the underwear wasnt clean that she had on. Gross. But again, not enough to go on for any sort of legal action. Anyway, I was emptying out SD's hamper into the washer, just dumped it because I was sick of seeing her nasty underwear and touching it, but the smell nearly knocked me on my ass. I sifted through to make sure nothing dead was in there and sure enough...a nice little pair of underwear was pretty much glued to a pair of pants. I've tried baby detergent, she only has cotton underwear (in the right size) but it hasnt gone away. So I decided to email BM about it. Bm's responce was that she had the same thing (TMI!!!!!!) and it goes away....................................does it now? SD's had this situation down there for as long as I've known her. I cant take SD to the Dr because BM would flip sh*t and it would be the end of the world. What the hell can I do? Ive thought about handing SD a tube of monistat cream and telling her to put it on right before she sleeps and seeing if that helps one of the weeks shes with us.
Who knows.
That's about all I want to vent about now. SD comes again on Sunday and I'm enjoying the time until baby #2 comes!

Comments

bellacita's picture

i mustve missed that u are pregnant but im so happy for u!!
thats 2 babies very close together...ur gonna have ur hands full, but im sure youll love it! take care and let us know when the little guy decides to make an appearance Smile

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

mediocrityrulesman's picture

That it will be everything but easy. I wanted two children close in age so it works out! Smile

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" ~ Milton Berle

bellacita's picture

i want 2 kids close in age...maybe not THAT close though...we'll see!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Sia's picture

soon! She might have a yeast infection, or it may be some of the "pills" BM is making her take could be affecting her that way. If she doesn't get it checked out and corrected, it could lead to serious problems down the road. Why can't DH take her to the DR? Be sure to document EVERYTHING, even the way she smells when she comes to you. It may come in handy some day. Wink

mediocrityrulesman's picture

SD is under Bm's insurance and we've asked to borrow her insurance card to take her but BM doesnt believe it needs medical attention. What can I do?

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" ~ Milton Berle

torturedmommydearest's picture

You need to have DH take her to the DR. If BM blows her top, let her and document it. Further more, that actually could be a CPS call. The meds maybe not, but the other most so. This involves her health (the lack there of) and if BM is not taking care of it, they need to know. We documented everything and though we did not "win" in court, BM has stepped up so she does not look so bad next time. Good Luck!