"I Hate Pee" blog comment
After reading this I thought wow what a great idea for ss7 who pees his pants virtually everyday no matter where he is. Today is the day we are doing it. He put the diaper on and we made him go outside like he would normally do on such a pretty day. Of course he refused he made it to the garage and because my bd8's friends were right there he hid behind DH's bike. We left him out there for like 20 minutes and DH told him he could go inside if he wanted to (like he needed the girls laughing and asking questions anymore). So he is so embarrassed that he won't even come out of his room. Which is fine I am pretty angry at him anyway cause I am the one that has to clean his clothes and we've been asking him if he has peed his pants like everyday and he says "no I'm positive." Come to find out when I do his laundry he was lying. I don't know how many times he has lied to us (this has been going on for over 4 months now) but I read this comment and was like "that's it" "that will work". I was surprised DH was on board for it usually he thinks I am overreacting to stuff and lets a lot slide. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that we are trying it and hopefully this will be the thing that FINALLY gets his attention.
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Comments
Sorry it was Rag's comment
Sorry it was Rag's comment that I am talking about. Making the kid were a pull up all day and that's it.
I hope it works for you. It did for us.
TMSH,
I understand your frustration. In my SS's case it was mainly related to visitations with his BioDad. He would leave our home ~85-95% toilet trained and come home in absolutely filthy diapers or pull ups. By the time he turned 4 he was reliably toilet trained. Then when he was 6 he started wetting the bed again following one of the visitations with his BioDad's family.
We tried the sensitive approach for several weeks which was not working. So, we put him in pull ups with no pants or shorts. He was absolutely mortified and fixed the problem on his own nearly immediately. We started on a weekend and let him know that if the problem was not fixed then he could wear pull ups to school on Monday.
He fixed it before Monday and we never had another problem.
Best regards,
Thank you for the
Thank you for the suggestion. I am really at my wits end and didn't know what else to do. Since we had tried everything else even taking him to the dr with the dr saying that there is nothing wrong and he has been trained up until about 4 months ago it was wierd. We also have 100% custody so he doesn't hardly even speak to his mom as she is on the other coast and hardly ever calls and we have no contact information for her. We even had to hunt her down for her to talk to him on his birthday. So it's not seeing or really even hearing from her that is the issue. We don't know what the issue is, I think he is just lazy and refuses to use the bathroom in an effort to just be an ass. And so far he has to some degree "gotten away with it." Now that his humility is involved he seems to have had a bit of a reality check. Though, he is now ok with being out of his room in the diaper and complaining that it "doesn't even fit him", it is the biggest that we could find 60-125lbs. But he is complaining that is riding up his butt. I can't help but laugh when I see him cause he looks like it's Halloween or something and he's dressed as a baby!
I wonder
If the problem might be that he's NOT having enough contact with his mom and that is bothering him and he doesn't realize it?
When my ex and I were going through our custody battle and the gf was causing her trouble, my previously potty trained son started wetting the bed at night. I started paying really close attention to what was going on when he was at dad's and when things were more turbulent, that's when he was wetting.
That could be it. But we
That could be it. But we can't force his mom to be in his life if she chooses not to be. We have no phone #, no address, no job location...nothing. We had an address once and when he made her a Valentine's Day card this past Feb I sent it to the address we had and it came back. He might need counseling for that we understand that and are definitely looking into it. We are just going by what the pediatrician, urologist and child development dr said, find something that gets his attention and go with it. So far we had not found that.
I agree
You can't force her, but perhaps finding someone to help sort out his feelings would be more beneficial than forcing him to wear a diaper.
Just for humor sake
When I married the first time I had a ss15 who still wet the bed occasionally. He would put his sheets in the closet until I found them days later based on smell...eeewwweeeeyyy!
I understand your pain, i am so sorry. Just stick to your guns, and make him go outside with the diaper on. Peeing may not embarrass him but obviously the diaper does, so maybe he'll start using the toilet. If it continues longet than a year I would take him to the doctor.
Now the humor part...I hate pee too-but my fight is currently puppy pee:)
Be kinder than necessary to everyone! We all have our battles.
That's just nasty! I don't
That's just nasty! I don't know what I will do if it lasts that long! I can't stand the smell of pee especially when it gets all over his clothes, car seat, furniture, carpet...pretty much anywhere he decides to sit and not get up to pee. Or pee in his pants then sit down. It's not only gross but I wonder how sanitary it can be for the other kids especially sd3 and bs1 considering they still put their mouths on everything and roll around on carpets and furniture. We were considering a puppy but after all this we gotta get at least ss7 trained before that happens! I really couldn't handle all that!
Hold up
Has the child been to the doctor to make sure there is nothing wrong?
I think this is way extreme.
Yes he has been to the
Yes he has been to the pediatrician, urologist and child development drs. They all said the same thing...now reason for it. I think DH is going to try a psychologist next but the thing is that we have tried EVERYTHING else. Taking stuff, taking privledges, no tv, time out, millions of talks, limiting drinks/liquids, "reminding" him to go every 45/60 minutes....everything we could think of nothing has gotten his attention like this has so far.
Then the next step should be
The psychologist that you mentioned. There could be a lot of things going on in the little guy's head that he needs help sorting out.
I'm afraid that without seeing a counselor first, you could inadvertently causing serious damage. I mean, can you just imagine being forced to wear a diaper???
The child development dr
The child development dr said it was not necessary to see a psych but gave us names in case we wanted to. He knows how to use the toilet he did just fine up until about 4 months ago he just doesn't. All the dr's said he gets "busy" and just doesn't want to leave what he is doing to go to the toilet and pees his pants. He will poop in the toilet, we've never had a problem with that. And no I can't imagine wearing a diaper as I didn't have any issues with using the toilet nor has my bd8. This issue is something I have never experienced and have tried to deal with other ways that have failed. Even the drs told us to take something that we needed to find something that would get his attention and we have tried everything thinkable. Rags had and idea that we decided to try because we are tried out. And tired of dealing with the piss all over his clothes, him, car seat, car furniture, carpet...etc. What else can we do?
Thank you for your comment.
Thank you for your comment. Yeah we've been down that route and we are pretty certain it's not abuse. DH has had him with him almost all his life. The dr also pretty much has ruled that out. Thanks though!
You know...
I was just reading my psych book (blah) and ust thought about something with kids. many times what they do (positive or negative) is just attention seeking behavior as a response to stress in their lives. If trying with diapers, etc. doesn't work by showing too much attention, try ignoring it for a while. I know it sucks, but just act like it's no big deal, clean the stuff without saying anything and see if he decides it's not worth the hassel. It's just a suggestion, but it might work.
Be kinder than necessary to everyone! We all have our battles.