A question for all...

Just wondering:

How often do you bathe your kids/skids? And do you use soap on their genitals (specifically girls)?

I know that some girls are sensitive down there, but here's my situation:

My SD5 came over at Christmas with a rash and inflammation. We brought it to BM's attention and yes, she knew about it and would apply sudocreme (diaper rash cream) if SD felt like it (huh – who’s the parent?). Low and behold BM finally takes SD to the Dr.s and she has a staph infection.

Now, SD was never taught how to wipe herself (still doesn't wipe front to back, but at least she wipes now) and is only bathed once a week...THAT'S right...once a week.

So...the staph was cleared up. Dr. said to remove all irritants. BM is notorious for not giving full info and FH used to accompany to all Dr.s appointments (even BM's) b/c full history was never disclosed.

So, we changed detergent and BM said no soap on the genitals. We abided by that for awhile, but SD is still rashy and inflamed.

So, we started using soap again and applying the cream every day. Whoa...the rash starts going away.

Well...when BM hears that we are using soap she freaks...

I don't get it...the only time SD gets the rash is coming FROM BM's house. It's already healing up by the time she leaves our place, but WE are doing something wrong?!?!?!

Anyway...how often do your kids/skids bathe and do they use soap???

Thanks in advance!

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The weekly bathing

thing is a form of child neglect.

Children should be bathed with a mild soap every day. It is not a third world country.

If I left it up to Daddy

skids would never get a bath. That's just usually not something that he thinks of. We have them EW, I make sure that a bath is given on Sun. nights for school the next day. If one wets the bed, they get one in the a.m.

I feel that having a bath at night before bed relaxes them and I think that they should have one every night. Also, they enjoy playing in the bathtub (most little ones do) so if they seem bored and I think they are icky and I want them to occupy themselves for a bit, I will ask if they want to take a bath (they are 5 & 7 boys)

If BM does not want you to use "soap" I wouldn't use soap, per se. I would use something extremely gentle. Aveeno makes very good soaps that ease irriation and are natural.

Your SD is five. She can be told to wash her genitals (gently) with instruction and supervision. Hand her the bar and cloth and tell her how and where. From day 1 with skids, I would give them baths often (every night), but I always had them wash their private area by themselves, they were cool with it.

yup...

That's what we do. Dove unscented and she does it herself.

But...she told BM and BM told her never, Never, NEVER put soap near that area (BM calls it her bummy - blech), and that it is VERY dangerous. Now the poor kid is terrified of soap going near her vagina!

The weekly bathing

thing is a form of child neglect.

Children should be bathed with a mild soap every day. It is not a third world country.

The weekly bathing

thing is a form of child neglect.

Children should be bathed with a mild soap every day. It is not a third world country.

I agree!!!

All three times you posted...lol!

Agree~

BUT understand the dry skin thing too... SS has REALLY dry skin, I still bathe him daily... but he is soaked in lotion after every bath. My girls use mild soap on their privates daily. I still buy them Johnson and Johnson Baby wash for their bodies... it is mild enough for a new born, they can use it daily in all areas. And plenty of lotion every where else to keep them hydrated. One bath a week is unacceptable.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

I understand the dry skin thing too but...

SD doesn't have dry skin...at all! She only gets bathed once a week b/c that's how her English Mother was raised and she doesn't see anything wrong with it!

Oh Yeah...

and is your SD still wetting the bed at night? If so, sounds like BM is either not having her take pull-ups or something off (if she wears something) when she awakes in the a.m. or she is not washing the urine off if she went in them overnight.

Not anymore...

We got her out of pullups ages ago (BM didn't want to put in the work, but we did).

Instead of bathing her child, BM was laying a 5 year old on a babies changing mat and wiping her down with baby wipes every night. Well, the Dr. freaked about that. Told her to discontinue and have the child sleep with no underwear.

I think that SD doesn't wipe properly at BM's (she does with us) and then goes a week without a bath. So, she's trapping wet urine against her skin with her cotton panties, and it's not getting cleaned but once a week...hence the rash, scratching and inflamation!

My kids have very dry skin,

My kids have very dry skin, so I give them a bath every other night - unless they are particularly dirty from some sort of activity - then they get one right away. But if it is just normal play, then every other. They still wash up every day tho...faces, necks, hands. I use Johnson's body wash on them.

Every other day

Unless they are really dirty from playing outside or something and I use the huggies bar soap.

wrong post...

My SS8 and SS6 take showers

My SS8 and SS6 take showers every other day, unless they get particularly dirty playing or something. I would say sensitive skin soap. Once a week is horrible!

AGREE!

Ivory soap

ivory soap is very alkaline and hard on the skin...it dries the skin too much. Lever2000 is actually more pH balanced for the skin. You can also try Dove unscented...it has moisturizers...anything is better than ivory soap!

RE:

My daughter is just a baby so she doesn't get really dirty. I usually bathe her every other night with either Johnson's or Baby Magic (I think) night time bath wash stuff. And I DO wash her genitals - gently - with the suds and rinse them off really well. Then I make sure they're nice and dry and put powder in her diaper for overnight. My daughter is almost 8 months old and has NEVER had a rash on her genitals or behind.

I'm sorry but if a grown woman was to NOT wash her genitals for days it would get pretty skanky down there, any woman who has been hospitalized or severely injured knows the feeling. There is nothing more refreshing than taking a bath/shower when you really need it which is generally after one or two days without one.

I'm not saying it's necessary to bathe every single day, but every other day is about as long as I would let a child go without a bath. And a 5 year old is going to get much dirtier and sweat much more than a grown up or a baby would. I agree with others here, once a week bathing for a child sounds like neglect to me.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

Uhmm...

BM doesn't believe in using soap there either. She says that it should only be rinsed with water.

She also would never allow anyone 'down there'. I personally believe that she was ridiculed in the past about smell.

It's all very disgusting, but I just want my SD to be healthy!

EWWWWW

thats just gross you should wash down there EVERYDAY with soap.If she doesnt she will have to use a brillo pad to get that thing cleaned UCK UCK UCK.Im sorry just my perference..

"The future's uncertain and the end is always near." Jim Morrison

I have two bio children

7 and 9 and I make them bathe everynight..As I do my skids whom are 10 & 12..I do help my son with the shampoo bc I buy big bottles and hes cant hold the bottle and squeeze it..So I will have him hand me the shampoo and from behind the curtain I will pour some onto his palm..My daughter and 2 ss's I dont even go..And I have never had to bathe sd 11 as she doesnt bathe when she comes over, she just usually spends one night at a time..But when the boys lived with BM they were only to bathe whenever they wanted..

"The future's uncertain and the end is always near." Jim Morrison

Bathing frequency can be cultural

My kids get a bath when they need one. In the summer, that's every day. In the winter, that's every 2 to 3 days. It also depends on race, skin type, etc. They still use a washcloth to clean their faces and "privates" and get clean underwear daily.

That being said, I went through the same thing with my daughter. The doctors diagnosed it as staph infection, yeast infection, urinary tract infection, "diaper rash", etc. Told us to quit using soap, bubbles, change detergent, etc. It would get better for a few days and then flare up again. It would get so bad that she would blister and bleed and, at three, refuse to potty because it hurt so bad. When she finally couldn't hold it anymore, she'd go but she'd scream in pain. It was horrible. EH and SM used to gripe at me, I used to gripe at them, it was 2 miserable years before I finally found out what the problem was.

Turns out she had anal and vaginal strep. I didn't even know that was possible! Not to scare you, but this is a very rare but serious possibility that I feel you should be aware of. BD is now 9 and now has an allergy to the strep bacteria (because it went untreated for so long). Now, every time she is exposed to strep, she bleeds internally. She will likely need a kidney transplant in her teens and it actually can be fatal. We've had some really touch and go moments over the years and too many hospital stays and prayers to remember. All of this because the doctors' couldn't figure it out and prescribe an antibiotic.

Not trying to be a downer here, but it is probably worth mentioning to your doctor. A simple test will tell you if that's what it is and a round of antibiotics will clear it right up. Good luck!!

I agree with Serena and...

Little kids need bathed a few times a week if they aren't dirty. BD 3 gets a couple a week, unless she's been playing hard outside and is sweaty, or is sick. So summer time it's almost nightly, although sometimes we "party" outside so late that I (gasp) let her go to bed with sunscreen or bug spray on her (like after a drive-in movie. Not gonna bathe her at 1am!

Culturally in the US and similar countries- maybe Canada/England/Australia- we over bathe, over sanitize and it sets us up to be less resistant to harmful bacteria, yeast, etc. We have good bacteria on our bodies and over bathing, especially in young children who are wiped with baby wipes throughout the day, daily bathing is excessive. It's also part of why we freak out at all the body odor when we travel- they are just not excessively bathing and we have a great intolerance for how human beings smell. I'm not preaching there- I bathe daily and can't stand BO either. But my BD 3 doesn't get BO yet. BSs 14 and 11.9? EEK! I have to TELL them to bathe daily. SD 13, is bath obsessed and wants to take 2-3 hour long showers bath combos a day. That's a little of the bpd stuff too.

Anyway...

As far as the rest you said Serena- thanks so much for sharing! How horrible that must have been for you and BD to go through. I hope as she grows up she develops more tolerance. Have you tried any pro-biotics to built her healthy bacteria levels up?

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I

EEK! Ha ha!!

BS11 is icky too!! There are times that his breath and BO will almost knock me out!! I have to threaten him with bodily harm to get him to take a shower... AND USE SOAP! Some day a girl he likes is going to tell him he stinks, and he'll take it upon himself to avoid smelling like a garbage truck!

As far as BD9 goes... they say that by the time she's 13, she will outgrow it. They'll wait on the transplant until she's outgrown it and we can determine exactly how much damage has been done. She's still at like 60% function, so we're hopeful! Until then, there's nothing much we can do. She hardly ever gets sick, but she doesn't have to actually "contract" strep. We are exposed to strep all the time and just being exposed to it causes a reaction. She hasn't had strep since that two year nightmare, but she's exposed to it all the time.

Part of the reason she's so healthy, IMO, is because, like you mentioned Sita, I don't oversanitize. SD walks around lathering herself up with antibacterial lotion and is always on some medication or another for every little sniffle and sneeze. And she gets sick CONSTANTLY! My kids have each missed one day of school this year for illness. SD has missed 18 so far. EIGHTEEN DAYS!! Now she's on steroids for 6 tiny spots of poison ivy on her belly. My daughter just spent a week with it head to toe and didn't get the shot until it spread to her face and her eyes swelled shut. Anyway, I ramble... thanks for the kind words.

I'm really not trying to pull a Chicken Little here, I just wished someone had told me this was even a possibility when we were trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Just thought I'd pass the knowledge around!

My SD was a walking pharmacy when I moved in

She has asthma, but ironically has seemed to pretty much outgrown it (we even have a dog now and she is supposedly deathly allergic- though BM has had one for YEARS.)

BM had trained SD to pop a pill for every sneeze, ache, etc. SD would binge eat then ask for an ADVIL. DH didn't know any better and would give her one, b/c BM the RN did. I asked him if he knew what kind of damage he may be doing to her immune system, her liver, her kidneys, by all the pill popping. When I met SD she was chronically ill, had constant yeast infections etc at age 9. Now she's pretty healthy. She is still supposed to be taking Advair and flonase daily, but refuses to comply, then overuses her rescue inhaler (called "rescue" for a reason!)

Actually that reminds me. Speaking of all that and the other thread on losing things, SD is always losing inhalers and asking me to get another one. Ummm...the insurance will only pay for ONE a month!
SD used to complain to BM that we wouldn't let her take anything for headaches etc. We just always asked her to drink water and sleep it off if possible first, mostly b/c she was so addicted to advil and benedryl when I met her. So BM gave her Advil PM samples from work to carry with her. To take at SCHOOL! Nice. Wonder if she really got her RN from an ONLINE school!

Anyhoo...I will keep your BD in my thoughts.

Thanks Serema and Sita!

I agree with both of you and I'm certainly not the bath Nazi. Man...I'd be happy if the poor kid had 2-3 bathes a week!!!

I remember when I was a kid there was no such thing as anti-bacterial this or that. I know I'm a healthier person b/c of the immunity I have built up over time.

Serena, I will provide both FH and BM with your story. BM is apparently talking SD to a specialist, so hopefully she'll bring it up.

Thank you both!

Lordy, Lordy

She needs to take alittle bit care of her child, and washing her up! Especially at that age, they get into everything and you don't quite know what is going on.

SD9 has to take a shower EVERYDAY. She has bad BO from her BM, (she smells like her BM) drives me nuts! Anyway - if you leave it up to them to wash themselves you have to check-in now and again. SD9 tried to trick us by not washing up at all, not using soap, and just recently we found out that she only washes underher arms and her vajayjay and that's it. Nothing else. I was wondering why she was just stankin - it was because of that. So we have to lay down the law now and again about taking care of herself. But I would have to say everyday. They are too active playing and stuff to let it go for any longer.

I agree!!!

Unfortunately BM brainwashes SD to believe that GREAT HARM will come to her if soap gets near that area. I can't wait until she gets a little older and Mommy's word is no longer God's.

Can you convice

Droppy to stay in there a little while longer? Then at least YOU get the break too! LOL!

every other night is ok

I bathe my daughter every other night. She has SEVERE eczema and the dr's have told me if she gets in the bath too long or too often it can inflame her eczema. Now, if she is dirty from school or something, I will give her like a sponge-bath and coat her in the steroid cream she is prescribed. But I do not bathe her every day and hope that it is not considered child neglect! lol

but at her dads...

they bathe her every day and she comes home with her eczema inflamed, crying and itching....

Buy Dr. Bronner's Baby Mild

Buy Dr. Bronner's Baby Mild Castille Soap...You can find it at most health food super markets, etc...and even Target sometimes carries it...
My son has extremely sensitive skin and this works great...It's unreasonable to not use any soap...but maybe a very gentle and natural soap instead...

http://www.drbronner.com/DBMS/BAB.htm

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