I've been busy this week so I haven't had a chance to post this until now. It came out in last weekend's edition. I ended up having to change the subject of the feature from a stepmom raising three kids to this lady because the stepmom called me after she agreed to it and said she thought it wouldn't be a good idea because the BM would get mad (heh, go figure).

A mother by choice -

Motherhood means many things to many people, but for one Graham woman it does not mean actually giving birth.
Suzan Pederson has spent the last 33 years raising other people’s children. From helping to raise her nephews as infants and toddlers while still a child herself and again when they were nearing adulthood, to her stepchildren, Kristi and Trey, and now her grandson, she has mothered several children without delivering any.
She said her trick is treating all children like her own.

"You should look at most kids as if they’re your kid," she said. "If a kid has a bicycle wreck in front of your house and he’s out there crying, you should go outside and check on him."
Pederson said becoming a stepmother was a dramatic change — she went from having no children to suddenly having two, ages 10 and 12.
"My husband was raising two kids, I went in knowing I was going to be a parent because I loved a man with children," she said.
She said she believes the transition was made easier because of her no-nonsense approach to the matter.
"I wasn’t going to be their friend. I was there to be a parent. You hear the cliche ‘I’m not going to replace your mom, just be your friend.’ Nope, I was a parent," she said.

Pederson said remembering what it was like to be their age helped form the bonds she has with all of the children in her life.
She remembers her stepchildren and nephews as teenagers coming home after an evening out with friends and staying up talking for hours with them about anything and everything.
"There wasn’t anything that couldn’t be discussed at our kitchen table. Nothing was taboo," she said.
She was amazed at how honest they were with her as teens.
"I used to tell Trey, ‘You can’t do anything because you tell me everything.’ He still does," said Pederson.
Pederson added that the children living in her home were not her only children at the time. Her children’s friends and their neighbors spent a lot of time in their home. She said they all still keep in touch with her, and she’s proud of all of them.
Her home was only empty for six months after her stepson moved out before Pederson’s 1-year old grandson Elijah came to live with her.
She said although it was disappointing, the decision was easy.
"I was ready to be a grandparent. I was done raising kids, but we couldn’t just turn our back on the situation," she said.
The situation was her stepdaughter was abusing drugs and alcohol and neglecting her son.
"I can’t teach her how to be a parent. She was a good kid. She was just a bad adult for a while and she had to work through that ... She got herself into something and didn’t know how to get herself out of it which surprises me because I thought she was stronger than that," said Pederson.
Pederson and her husband Sam adopted Elijah shortly after taking custody of him, and he has been in their care for nearly 10 years.
She said if she were to give advice to other grandparents who are raising their grandchildren, it would be to hold off pity when it comes to the child.
"Don’t feel sorry for them. It doesn’t help them one bit. You can have your moments of feeling sorry, but don’t do it to them. They can’t adjust or move on and grow stronger because someone’s coddling them," she said.
Pederson added that one of her favorite things about raising her grandson is just watching him grow.
"I like his excitement when he learns new things. It’s cool to watch, and I have to step back and let him learn them because I can’t do it for him," she said.
She said the best Mother’s Day she ever had was a few years ago when Elijah brought home a pile of paperwork he had completed throughout the year. She said in particular, there was a questionnaire that the teacher had given them to fill out at the beginning of the year.
"One question on it was ‘Who is the person you look up to the most and why?’ And Elijah put me, because I was the person that took care of him and that he could talk to. There was no better present than that. It’s nice to know you matter and that you make a difference in someone’s life," she said. "Flowers are nothing compared to that."