Is privacy in my life. Since my SD is with us alot we really have no privacy. Anything that happens in our home is now subject to BM approval/denial. That sucks.

Everything else has been great really. I'm lucky though, I have SK's that make it possible.

~Happiness is defined by the smile on your face, not the frown on others.~

The hardest part is the lack of control over our schedule. Privacy thankfully is not an issue, although I'm officially dreading the possibility of SD wanting to use my makeup. She's pretty enough now that she doesn't need it, hopefully she won't be a typical teen and start piling it on just bc her girlfriends do!

~I've been drinkin down your pain...gonna turn that whiskey into rain and wash you away...~

Yes there are things that SM's give up when being with someone that already has children. For me personally I feel that sometimes I have give up the chance at a normal relationship with my BF. At the same time however he has three small children and I honestly can no longer picture my life without them in it, including their mother. We all have one of those odd relationships that well all talk to each other all the time. Hell, I just got off the phone with her for almost 2 hours. Don't get me wrong I am not saying it is perfect we all have our issues and yes we do get into confrontations, but hey it could be worse.
However yes I still feel like I had to give things up. Another example, I have no children of my own, my ExH and I were not fortunate enough to produce any, but then I feel there is a reason for that, my ExH is a whiny mommas boy who will never leave home (yes was married to him and we lived with his parents cause he didnt want to leave, one reason I am no longer with him). But, that is something me and the BF has talked about he knows my stance on it and all i can do is hope from there. I really guess my situation is different, I feel like I have gained more from this relationship than I have lost. I have moved out of a horrid situation, am going back to school, gained a friend (the BM even though we do fight sometimes but what friends don'?) and I have also gained 3 wonderfully, cute, and sassy step kids. Who in turn every time I see them tell me I am the best step mom ever and they love me. So really after they say that stuff every weekend how can i feel like I am missing out? Sorry had to throw my own mush in there lol.

-No privacy - by that she always walks around with that cell phone stuck to the side of her head...talking loud!
-Opinion - I no longer give mine
-Coming home to a quiet house, Now I come home to M.A.S.H on the TV (didn't like it as a kid, don't like it now)

I gave up living where I wanted to be because DH lived several hours away when I met him.

A honeymoon. 3 years later and we haven't had time or money to go on one.

My youth. This is not necessarily a bad one, but it hurts sometimes to see my friends living life like a 20 something year old should be living, while I'm carting kids to soccer practice or whatever.

I gave up being alone. This is also not necessarily a bad one. But I did enjoy living alone.

I gave up experiencing parenthood from the beginning stages with my husband. When we have a child it will be all new to me, but old news to him. That hurts more some times than others.

~ Formerly ToTheEdge. I have stepped down from the ledge.

There's so many issues with my SS and with BM SS is so behind that it's like he's a 2 year old, it's already like having another baby where my kids are much older and definitely more independent
I miss having quality time with my husband as we were just married in Janaury-The weekends are what I savor and those are spent cleaning up and being interrupted by SS

I would definitely agree with BBB about the schedule, that is the hardest. Counting out weekends to plan things way in advance.

I miss naps! Is that so wrong?

being able to walk out of the shower with no towel, a bag of microwave popcorn for dinner if that's what I wanted....and the ability to watch a tv show that I really wanted to see, without being interrupted 50 times....most of all...private, intimate moments with my DH...

"there are three sides to every story....your side, my side and the truth :)"

Knowing everything is where I left it when I come home.

1. Being able to live where I want. Because DH has the skids 50/50 I had to move an hour away from my family and friends into his small crappy city that I hate. I would never have agreed to live there otherwise.

2. Experiencing the birth/raising my BD with someone who didn't have the "been there...done that" attitude.

3. Having my schedule and BD's schedule determined by the skids schedule like when we can take vacations etc.

4. Being unable to provide myself or BD with the nice xtra things because there are two other children to provide for. This really gets me since BM doesn't do squat for them financially.

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get me"

Only thing I can think of is a few hundred dollars every month!

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"

I gave up being able to come and go as I wanted. My BD13 is very social now and rarely home one weekends..so I had free weekends (finally)..now I have SS5 ALL day Sat. from 9-9pm.

I gave up being able to just go home and veg and have just a bowl of cereal if I wanted because now I have a SS to cook for and DH. BD13 is like me..we could have pasta and chicken every night and be happy..

I gave up a beautiful 2 bedroom condo with a pool because we needed more room because SS5.

I gave up being able to spend time with alot of my friends because I now have SS5 ALL the time.

I gave up my brand new motorcycle..a 2007 Ninja I only had a little bit left to pay and I gave it up because I was going to have SS all the time and not alot of a chance to ride AND we needed the $$ to move (FH did sell his truck also). And I am going to buy a bike this winter.

I gave up being able to go on "fun" dates because FH has no babysitter.

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

1. DH and I probably won't have any kids that are ours biologically. Though I am early thirties and my kids are a bit older, I didn't think I was DONE. I wasn't ready to be done. But DH has admitted that he worries that he'd be a better father to "our" baby, and I worry that SD would hurt our baby out of spite/jealousy. I also worry and wonder if SD issues are environmental, or bad genetics from both BM and DH. Mean, huh?

2. Most of my self-esteem. SD loves to tell me how this or that person made comments about how ugly I am. She also fancies talking to my children and nephew about how I'm a terribly singer. Being a vicalist, this hurts. And never having been sure about my looks, the ugly thing deflates anything I thought I was OK with about me. Everyone who's heard her critque those things have laughed and thought she was nuts...but those messages (and many more from SD) have gotten through to me.

3. Being comfortable in my home. Or even feeling this *is* my home. My days seem to be run and controlled by her every whim.

4. Feeling like I am I'm good with kids. I used to feel so good about my way with children. Becuase I am a "monster" in her eyes, and even after 11 years she doesn't want me around...I feel like I'm not as good at that as I thought. I mean...11 YEARS...and I've been here to RAISE her...and she's so awful. I can't be all that good with kids. Ya know?

5. Day dreaming about the future.

and until a few weeks ago, hundreds of dollars in CS...And my wii I know that sounds petty but I like to play it on occasion too dang it..

"The future's uncertain and the end is always near." Jim Morrison

and the feeling that I have control of what happens in my own home.

having children of my own.

Just not worth it, with all the complications his life brings.

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

Except maybe a piece my heart. I really do love my ss.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

I gave up a contract to teach abroad. I was going to do it for one year but dh couldn't do it because of his son.

I gave up completely peaceful weekends. EOW. My children are grown. I teach all day but come home to a quiet peaceful home. That's how I like it. I have worked all my life for this. In comes 6ft2 manchild watching FOOTBALL (full blast) on my SUNDAY MORNING!!!!!! Football on my tv!!!!!!! TV TIL MIDNIGHT with his father stiched to his side.

I kinda have it back since I put my foot down and husband goes to visit the man/child on the weekend curtailing overnighters. I didn't know what EOW meant because I raised my children (until the youngest was 18)while married. So this having to pull out a calendar & have to count one weekend yes and one no to make plans WAS ALL NEW TO ME.
Only illness would change my plans before EOW --- for a while the biomom had f control of my weekends. She was switching weekends all the time and it almost killed me. UNTIL I HAD ENOUGH AND SAID no more! NO switching weekends for any reason except illness or DEATH.

I gave up a contract to teach abroad. I was going to do it for one year but dh couldn't do it because of his son.

I gave up completely peaceful weekends. EOW. My children are grown. I teach all day but come home to a quiet peaceful home. That's how I like it. I have worked all my life for this. In comes 6ft2 manchild watching FOOTBALL (full blast) on my SUNDAY MORNING!!!!!! Football on my tv!!!!!!! TV TIL MIDNIGHT with his father stiched to his side.

I kinda have it back since I put my foot down and husband goes to visit the man/child on the weekend curtailing overnighters. I didn't know what EOW meant because I raised my children (until the youngest was 18)while married. So this having to pull out a calendar & have to count one weekend yes and one no to make plans WAS ALL NEW TO ME.
Only illness would change my plans before EOW --- for a while the biomom had f control of my weekends. She was switching weekends all the time and it almost killed me. UNTIL I HAD ENOUGH AND SAID no more! NO switching weekends for any reason except illness or DEATH.