My partner has an 11 year old son. We’ve been together a year and moved in after 7 months. At first his son and I got on really well, then when I moved in his son became competitive/seemed jealous. I left them on their own on occasions to have father/son time, but it seems son doesn’t want me there at all. He hates the fact that I have moved in for some reason.

When we first started dating his son ruled the roost a lot having been on his own with his dad for 4 years. If he wanted something his dad would buy it for him. As it was winter when we got together his dad would let son play on the x-box on the main telly in the front room while we had to sit in the bedroom all weekend. His son has two x-boxes, one in a makeshift games room which is a converted garage with no heating but with a carpet and beanbags. I would ask my boyfriend if we could watch a film downstairs as the cable upstairs doesn’t have any decent channels but my boyfriend was reluctant, said he’d ask son but he didn’t want him to go in the garage where there was no heating. When it started getting warmer I asked his dad if we could go downstairs and finally he gave in. His son plays x-box 24/7 from the moment he gets there till the time he goes home and his dad lets him. Sometimes he will go out with friends but not regularly. He also has no bedtime and sleeps on the sofa downstairs. He has a lovely bedroom but doesn’t ever go in there or anything. It might be because the front room has loads of channels on SKY. So we started watching telly downstairs and his son in the games room, this was when his son started resenting me I feel. He would hardly speak to me and when I went out the room I would hear him being chirpy and upbeat with his dad but I would get half-hearted responses. His dad told me I was paranoid and son liked me cause he’d asked him.

My boyfriend is a wimp when it comes to conflict/confrontation and never tells his son for anything. He takes his meals into him and his son will put his plate on the floor and not even take it to the sink to be washed up. His dad will go and pick it up, along with all the empty drinks cartons which his son has has left on the floor. I have never said anything about this, and have just got on with doing the chores/washing up and leaving it to my partner to clear up after him.

So anyways. His dad wouldn’t have gone on holiday abroad unless we asked his son to come with us so we took his son with us on holiday. Whilst we were there son wanted his dad all to himself and was off with me. I mentioned it to his dad who had a word with him but it still carried on. On the way home the dad and I were discussing something and his son butted in and said “my dad’s not a liar” which really enraged me that he was listening and butting in and I lost it and said “keep your nose out, nothing to do with you!!” son started crying, dad was very angry and also started crying coz his son was upset!! I apologised to his son and he was ok after that. When we got home I let them to spend time together on their own and stayed in the bedroom. Week later son cancels on his dad last minute cause he was staying at his friends house. Weekend comes and he gets his granddad to ring to say he is not coming that weekend either. His dad was hurt. I asked if he thought it was because of me and he said it's not because of you he has always done this. I will have a word with him and tell him to give me notice next time not just cancel last minute but he never did have a chat with him. This is just what my boyfriend is like - avoids any conversation/confrontation.

So to cut a long story short. This weekend his son comes and was acting off with me again. Nothing I can put my finger on, just off with me. He stayed in his games room all weekend.

Whilst we were on holiday he had had took pictures on his ipod because we got on holiday and realised that we had forgotten the memory card to the camera so he had volunteered to take the photos. His dad asked him to bring the ipod this weekend so we could download them. When I had a look yesterday I noticed that some of me and his dad and some other nice ones had been deleted. I was really shocked and p*ssed off and said I can’t believe he’s done it. He said I will go and ask him. He said I will know if he is telling the truth. Well sure enough he said he had deleted some but not the ones in particular which were missing. His dad said “I believe him too” and I went mad and said some hurtful things like “you are stupid then” and “oh I see blue eyed son can do no wrong again” and he went mad at me and said I’m trying to come between him and his son!! His son hasn’t left the games room all weekend because I make him uncomfortable and I am trying to drive a wedge between them. it all poured out!! I was shocked, hurt, angry. I asked “how have I tried to come between you??? I go out sometimes to leave you two on your own. I try to include him, make conversation etc, etc” and he couldn’t answer me. He took his son home and when he came back he reckoned he just said that in the spur of the moment and he didn’t really mean it but I don’t believe him.

I think his son is crafty and has got what he wants ---- a divide between his dad and me. He actually admitted on holiday that he found it difficult with me living at the house as it took some getting used to. SO he has gone about it in a crafty way, by staying in the games room making it look like I make him too uncomfortable. Question is what do I do now? Nothing I do is good enough and I am so hurt that his dad thinks that way about me. Should I stay completely out of the way when his son is over so he will be happy then i can't be blamed for anything or what do I do?? I love his dad i get the feeling his son wants him all to himself and won’t be happy until I have gone. I'm so depressed today.