Being the emotional punching bag
My husband has a lot of stress and financial problems such as
1.He's in a lot of debt
2. He barely makes his bills every month
3. His kids require a lot of attention (they are young 5 and 
4. His kids are not the best behaved at times and spoiled (he doesnt discipline them or hold them accountable enough in my opinion)
5. His kids are lazy and he does almost everything for them (8 year old son refuses to carry his baseball equipment even though every other kid does. Both of them refuse to get up to get themselves drinks or snacks even though they are capable, he cleans up after them hand and foot even though they are old enough to be doing so)
6. He works for his mother who is over bearing and invasive. She calls several times a day(even late at night) and is up in his business. He basically does whatever she says. She can also be demanding. She requires him to meet her for dinner several nights a week and even is demanding he throw her a party although he can't afford it he's doing it anyways.
As a result he is very stressed and losing it. I've noticed he takes everything out on me, the one who helps, who gives him back rubs, takes his kids to lunch, walks his dog, watches his kids (even though they dont behave well). I made the sacrafice to move in with him even though it was not the best location for my work and family and I gave up having my own place. As a result he gets stressed and angry and takes everything out on me. He was mad at me for not spending the entire day with him and his kids. I went to the gym instead and went to lunch myself and did some shopping. I was home for dinner even though his kids behaved horriblly at the table a usual. He was angry with me and ignored me and barely spoke to me. I don't think this is fair. His mother also calls and tells him there's a storm and to get the kids up and take them to the basement. What grown man listens to his 70 year old mother? He did exaclty everything she said. I at first didn't want to wake them up and go to the basement and he yelled at me in fornt of them "You don't want to be a family with us do you?" I"ve just about it it being his emotional punching bag. I don't deserve it. We are barely speaking now. I have disengaged.
Wow your husband sounds like
Wow your husband sounds like a complete A hole. What a D@ck. Why put up with it? Are you child free yourself? I say if he doesn't agree to counselling and to change his behavior and attitude towards you then cut ties and get out of there. It will only get worse. He sounds like a momma's boy/manchild with an anger problem. His kids sound like lazy spoiled brats. His behavior towards you is abusive. He doesn't deserve you. One day he will sit in the mess he created with his debts, his two spoiled brat kids and his over bearing mother that he can't seem to set boundaries with. Heck maybe he can move back in with momma since he can't make his house payments and they can all be happy together. lol.
kind of sounds like he is reaping the rewards
If he is doing everything for kids that are old enough to be doing some things on their own, then he is failing them. They are old enough to have chores, responsibilities, and boundaries. He should be teaching them so that they can become decent adults, not doing everything for them. He needs to draw boundary lines with his mother as well. She does not need to call him several times a day for stupid crap. Part of me says you should run really fast from this situation and the other part says he needs counselling.
Being 5 is just an excuse. i
Being 5 is just an excuse. i've pretty well trained SD5 to do things on her own, I still help and I'm there for her. But she can get out of bed, get herself dressed, pack her own snack for school, open her own drinks, she helps me fold laundry (I admit I have to redo a lot of it... But she's trying, lol), I mean heck, she's already trying to learn to do pull-ups because I do them a lot. They're capable fo WAY more than people give them credit for.
Listening to his mom over you? I think he's forgotten who his partner is supposed to be...
Basically all I'm saying is that he's just making a bunch of excuses, and then taking it out on you... I think you need your own space while he deals with some of that crap... There is NEVER an excuse to take your frustrations out on your partner.
Time to back off while he
Time to back off while he deals with his sh@t. Move out. Get your own hobbies and life. He needs counseling and to get his life together. He needs get his parenting in tune and to set boundaries with his mother. You shouldn’t be the person he takes his stress out in, period.
Using you as an emotional
Using you as an emotional punching bag is not going to solve his problems - ALL of which are of his own creation and do have actual solutions if he cared enough to solve it, rather than be abusive. .
There are solutions like living within his means, sacrifice a bit and payoff the debt, get a better paying job or a second job, learn to manage finances properly. Properly parenting his own young kids - he is lazy if he can not even take the trouble to guide his own kids and then expects them to be well behaved. Setting boundaries with Mommy-dearest or working else where. Dang, this man sound like a charmer - sure fire advert for catch and release when sampling the fish in the sea...
You really dont deserve any of this and I am surprised you tolerate it. I wish you could see and understand that you deserve someone who treats you with respect and kindness - not abuse. May be you should look to leave. This man-child mommy's-boy needs to grow up.
Your dh and mine must be
Your dh and mine must be related.