BM’s husband rubs me the wrong way and I can’t quite put my finger on WHY?

BM and her hubby (SDad) have been married for a year, together for 2.5. The first time we met him, we learned quickly he was not the brightest crayon in the box, but SS and BM’s other son seemed to get along well with him. Then BM and SDad had a baby and he started treating the boys differently, taking a more verbally aggressive approach to discipline and at one point even spanked SS (which caused some serious tension with DH – but eventually got resolved) unfortunately his behavior over that first year of their marriage and the baby, it really hurt his relationships with SS and his older brother, of which he is now attempting to repair.

Once the spanking situation got worked out, he and DH started to see eye to eye on some things and DH even asked SDad to coach SS’s baseball team alongside him. Which gave DH a chance to get to know him a little better, while helping repair SDad’s and SS’s relationship.

Well now that SDads child is 1.5 years, I’ve been noticing he seems to be quite self-righteous and when DH is not looking he acts like DH is the shittiest person ever. Now DH and BM argue, and when they do, they can both go over the top, and I by no means expect him to think DH is a god or anything, but I don’t like that he thinks I feel the same way.

For example, after baseball one day, DH was saying goodbye to SS since it was BM’s day, so I grabbed the equipment bag and started walking to the car. SDad came running up and took the bag from me and said “What a f*ing asshole – to make you carry that heavy bag” I was almost speechless…almost! (Side note – this bag weighed maybe 10-15 lbs and DH didn’t make me carry it, I grabbed it with my own free will so DH could hug his child and yet we could still get to the car) My face probably said it all, but I, not so politely, informed him that is wasn’t heavy and no one makes me do anything and then I walked away. While that was not my proudest “adult” moment, I was very annoyed that he would call MY husband and asshole to my face! I just felt that was very rude! He’s made other comments before too, hinting that DH is less than worthy of a compliment, which really offends me (of course DH could give two shits, because he doesn’t care what BM or SDad think about him, and I know I should be the same way but those little things get under my skin sometimes)

So then this weekend he made a comment to me, that really pissed me off. BM was running 2 hours late to pick up SS yesterday and DH had to go to work, so I was the one home when the pick-up happened. BM was annoyed so she sent SDad to the door. While SS was getting his shoes on he told SDad about a new video game he got from my parents and instead of saying “oh cool, that sounds fun” he very rudely said – Well I sure hope you haven’t been wasting your entire day playing video games... WTF!

Now to clarify things…BM and DH have VERY, VERY different rule when it comes to video game usage and appropriateness. At our house he is only allowed to play E rated games and ONLY for an hour on Saturdays. So because of the weekend rotation, he only plays video games every other Saturday for an hour, at our house (and SS has no issue with this rule, most Saturday’s he forgets he can play and chooses other activities). BM lets him play for an hour every day and doesn’t seem to care about the rating. Her and DH argue about it regularly and she denies that he plays M rated games, but he says he does….it’s a never ending battle.

So of course with his bad attitude, SS left in a crappy mood and BM called DH later that night and told him SS was really bad. I don’t know why his comment bothered me so bad. It just made me feel like he was insinuating that I sucked and would allow SS to meld his mind all day playing a video games. Especially since they allow him to play way more than we do. So I gave SS a hug and shut the door without acknowledging SDads comment.

I don’t know why he gets under my skin so much, and I try not to let it show incase that’s his intention, but sometimes I’m less inclined to tolerate it…and of course he never says these things when DH is in ear shot. Anyways…I’m done complaining