Car Insurance Nightmare - BM won't give us paperwork. Need advice.
I was a member here before, lost my username. Here's the current drama. I have 2 16-yr-old twin boys who just got their driver licenses. The idiot BM bought 2 completely irresponsible, non-working, bad grades, bad attitudes, self-centered, selfish, lazy teenagers 2 new cars. A fully loaded Mustang and a BMW. She's got money is all about buying their affections. She teaches them nothing, no discipline, no rules, nothing. But that's another story.
Insurance.... before she bought them cars, which are in her name and have to be on her insurance, we looked into car insurance. I asked our insurance company for a quote - and they added them to our policy without my permission. A week of screaming at Geico did no good, they wouldn't take them off and wanted me to pay $1200 a year for them - despite they now have insurance elsewhere. I got the insurance card out of their dashboards and gave Geico their insurance company and policy numbers and no, they still won't remove them without "proof of insurance". WTF??? So I fired Geico and asked a friends to sign us up at his insurance firm. 3 weeks later, his underwriters want "proof of insurance". They want the "declaration page". DH asked BM for it. She refuses. So right now they have insurance with 2 companies, on 2 policies. Our new insurance will drop us tomorrow if we don't have the dec page or don't pay the full premium. BM will not help. SS's are worthless. What do any of them care if we lose $1200? We even told the boys we can't have Christmas if we have to pay this bogus bill. They don't care now (they will Christmas morning).
I'm so stressed, so fed up with this!!!! What can I do???
I asked my insurance guy to
I asked my insurance guy to do that and he said there are privacy issues. So I doubt they'd do it because her ex-husband's new wife wants it. I thought about calling and pretending to be her but if I got caught, she'd file charges I'm sure.
Not sure what state you are
Not sure what state you are in, but you can generally exclude household members from your policy (I'm assuming your skids live with you). I don't know of any provisions that allow companies to add them to your policy against your will. If you exclude them, they will of course not be covered if they cause an accident while operating one of the vehicles that is on your policy.
HOWEVER, you need to be damn sure that your skids have coverage, if they are indeed living with you. If you can't confirm that they are on BM's policy, you need to keep them on yours. Even if you were "silent" when taking out an application with a new company, and didn't tell the company about your skids, they would deny any claims for accidents caused by the kids, since they were resident relatives and you did not include them on the policy. If they have coverage on the BM's policy, but you can't confirm this because she is telling you to get bent, you are probably stuck. The insurance company won't release info to someone who is not on the policy. You might try to get your skids to ask for a dec page, since they are on the policy, but I'm not sure that would work either.
My skids won't do anything to
My skids won't do anything to help. DH asked. They could care less and 1 of them at this moment is running his ridiculous Christmas list with expensive car stuff past DH, telling him "make sure you get this" (meaning don't get any cheap stuff). $300 radio gadget for his car. Yeah, reality doesn't live at my house! Ugh!!!! I have a major vent coming about their behavior this weekend (and EOW they are here). We have them 50% of the time, 1 week on, 1 week off.
At this point I am so frustrated with the whole thing I'm ready to walk and leave DH to get this insurance straight and be done with all this drama. Most of the drama would be avoided if H grew some balls and set down rules and followed through with them.
I cannot and will not pay $1200 for them for no reason at all. I need surgery, badly, for a painful hernia and have put it off for a year against doctor's orders because we can't afford it and now this - when they have insurance already and we have their insurance cards to prove it (but no dec page). And SS1 putting in orders for $300 gifts he truly believes he is entitled to. I don't even think they deserve a Christmas (might be the wake up call they need)... now, it won't even be an option.
Both cars are in my name, on my insurance policy. I added DH to my pristine Geico insurance plan. I made the mistake of asking for an estimate and they added them to my policy (I have filed a complaint with the state). I never agreed to add them, never signed anything giving permission. Just wanted to know how much it would cost to add them if we had to because at the time, we were considering adding one to our policy and she'd add one to hers. Now, they have full coverage with her on their 2 cars. They will never drive our cars, ever. Our cars are old, unstylish... their cars are worth 10 times are so they won't ever want to drive ours anyway. If one of theirs is in the shop, they'd ride with their brother since they go everywhere together. There is no need for them to be on our insurance at all. To know they live here, ok. But their insurance cards have their company, policy number, car tags, car numbers... why can't the insurance companies just talk to each other and see they are covered? Why do I have to beg DH to beg BM to get paperwork from her when truly, it's not her problem.
Just venting... it's
Just venting... it's frustrating. They are such rude little brats lately and I'm tired of sacrificing for them. I love them but I sure don't like them and this is just the latest. Add in last night one told me I was a bad mom because my son died (he was born very sick, through no fault of mine. I gave him the best life I could for his whole short 6 years and he was a happy little boy). I wanted to punch SS2 but I was too hurt. Then SS1 said I don't do anything for them or give them any money. I pay utilities and insurances, DH pays the mortgage. I paid for Christmas last year and Christmas this year if we can get this all straight. I've sat in 110 weather to watch their baseball, I've dealt with their mood swings, whininess, laziness, watching them treat their dad like shit. I gave up having more kids when I married DH (he had a vasectomy). Now I'm in physical and emotional pain because of 2 brats who don't appreciate anything I've done for them. I tried detaching, I truly did but I hated feeling like a stranger in my own house 50% of the time (when they are here). When I stand up to them, sometimes there is actually discipline around here longer than a day or 2. If I detach and stay out of it, they play DH like a fiddle. For the 3rd Friday in a row on their visits, SS2 has been grounded for attitude and grades but didn't come home, just leaves school with SS1 (who has his car) and they go to the mall, movies, girlfriend, etc. If they are feeling generous they TELL DH where they are going. They never ask. Never. DH doesn't make them show that respect. So lots of drama Friday night, DH gives them "a good talking to Saturday" and Sunday they want to leave early (Monday is switch off day) and go back to BM's house where this is no discipline at all and grounding lasts an hour. Every single time. In the past 2 months, it's been non-stop drama, 1 of them getting D's and F's, both them yelling at DH and whining and putting him down, talking back to me (only a few times - I stand up to them and don't put up with that BS), them saying how DH doesn't give them enough money (he gives them gas money, buys them expensive stuff often, buys them clothes or sports stuff whenever they ask for it, took them and their BF to a major league baseball game and a large amusement park 4 states away for their birthday, etc). They do nothing around the house. Nothing. They drop their laundry for us to do. SS1 actually threw a fit Saturday and screamed at DH and slammed cabinets in the kitchen because DH didn't cook him dinner (he'd been rude to him all day!) and then called BM who msg'd DH saying he was being immature not to cook for SS1. He's 16 years old!!!! We have plenty of food. He could've made himself dinner easily. But no, DH is supposed to wait on him hand and foot and last night the same son (who does NOTHING) called DH lazy. I'm just fed up. I hate BM for screwing up the boys so badly (they were sweet when DH and I met, before BM came into money and turned them into monsters). I am losing respect for DH for not manning up more and for wanting to "keep the peace" (ie give in to them). And I hate myself to giving up being a mom and putting up with all this. Ugh.
What is an exclusion? The
What is an exclusion?
The insurance companies both said if they are there even just EOW or off at college and coming home at breaks just a few times a year that we had to list them.
I got tired of waiting for DH
I got tired of waiting for DH to fix the issue so I e-mailed BM, DH and the insurance agent all at once. I told BM that SS said she was faxing the dec page, gave her the insurance agents information and thanked her syrupy sweetly for being cooperative. I backed her into a corner. If she didn't sent it, her son would be viewed as a liar and she couldn't have that. Image is everything. Gag. So the insurance mess is fixed. Hallelujah.
Just a vent.... SSs are
Just a vent.... SSs are coming tomorrow for their EOWeek visit and I'm already dreading it. I feel myself get tense, knowing the next week will be drama with them, disappointment with DH and more drama. DH's birthday is Friday. I'm not holding my breath that they will care about DH and not get into trouble this week. I need to learn to disengage and not care. I just keep telling myself that just 1 more year and they are gone to college or wherever. But my big fear is what if one of them wants to move in full time then? Ugh. Do DH's ever, ever appreciate the crap we put up with being SM's?
Get a new insurance policy at
Get a new insurance policy at a COMPLETELY different company for you & DH. I don't see how a new company would/could refuse your money?
Got it fixed. No new company
Got it fixed. No new company would take us without that paper (I tried). But it's resolved now.