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clarification and i feel stupid

dwbwjc's picture

so this in regards to my last post, i feel so dumb...so i guess the situation had nothing to do with me..but apparently the teacher is concerned because sd7 is "anti social" in her opinion, wanting to just be with the teacher and spend time in the classroom only. The teacher said that she doesnt want to be around the other children or play with them. I told boyfriend that I don't think we have to worry, thats how she is at home, she just wants to play with us and be around adults shes always been a kid that spends time with adults, she doesnt really want to play with kids or ask to have kids over,but then my mind thinks maybe she is scared to be hurt, or build relationships, because of her bm leaving the picture again, maybe shes scared to get close? any ideas suggestions? she is an only child and we devote all our time to her so i think she just enjoys being around adults..

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Sometimes you have to teach kids how to make friends, especially only children. Yeah, she's used to being around adults only, but in a school setting that isn't how it works. She needs to learn to socialize with her peers too. Talk to her about how to make friends, role play even. Meet her classmates and tell sd to pick a friends to invite over one day. Include a friend for an outing one day- take them to a movie or a picnic lunch, some sort of play date. Once she meets one kid she likes then she'll adapt better.

Jsmom's picture

My SS has these issues. It has gotten so bad, that he is in individual therapy and group therapy. His parents never had him in any activities. He was never encouraged to have friends. They spent the years after the divorce, treating him like a baby. Guilt parenting by Dad and no parenting by BM have created these problems. Get her in activities where she has to interact with kids. Otherwise, you will be doing the therapy we are now having to do.

I believe a kid should be in one sport and one other activity, choir, scouts something...They need the interaction if they are not getting it at school.

Sleepy's picture

I could be way off base, but I would have her evaluated for Asperger's Syndrome. My son is borderline. He has friends but most often prefers to be by himself or with adults. We're always working on and encouraging him socially.

SillyGilly's picture

Is there something she thinks would be fun that she could do with other kids? Dance classes? Soccer? Maybe some type of reading program at a library, etc... ?? Maybe she would be more interested in socializing if arounds kids with the same interests. I also agree having a playdate with classmates is a good idea. Not that anything is "wrong" with her, but, someday she might be more interested in kids her age and will need to skills so she knows how to make friends.