First, I want to say that I'm so grateful to have found this site. I've read posts that have something in common with my own, but this is really a strange tale and I don't know what to do. Or maybe I do, and just need to see it in black and white. This could be long, and I apologise!! I have been with my man for almost 5 years and living in a common law relationship with him for a little over 2 years. I have 2 adult children, ages 27 and 23, and he also has 2, ages 29 and 21. He has been divorced for 15 years, his ex took their youngest (a girl) and moved back overseas when she was 4. That is where they live, and my SO raised their son by himself here.  He is a great dad, and the thing I fell in love with first was that he always called his daughter every Sunday morning, and spent regular one on one time with his son. When he invited me 3 years ago to accompany him overseas to meet his daughter, I said sure, despite my initial misgivings about meeting his ex. This should have been a huge red flag, but while he visited with them every evening, I was back in the hotel room, killing time. Our daytime outings included both of them. Fast forward to last year,when they came to visit. My SO jumped through hoops to make this happen, and since neither could afford to pay for their travel he paid their airfare, and arranged travel documents. MY SO's son and his GF arranged for a "family" vacation, and I was included. Sort of. And the ex's sister and her son were brought in as a surprise for my SO's ex. My SO brought up a few times that if I didn't want to go, he would understand, that his ex could be difficult, and that she and her sister could be mean when they got together. So after some thinking, I cancelled my vacation, hurt and resentful.  He was annoyed that I did that, and said he wanted me to go, blah blah blah. So, I relented. I went, and ended up having one of the WORST weeks of my life, Without going into a play by play of the entire week, I was not included in things, his ex and her sister made mean comments when they thought I wasn't around (or maybe they did know), I was the brunt of jokes and they would mock me in their own language, because the only ones to understand were my SO's children and their cousin. My SO was really distant, and was very careful to not show any affection or to touch me when his ex was around. Needless to say, when the week was over, I was never so glad to be home. Although I was home alone every night while he was at his son's house visiting with "the family". We had been asked to have his ex and their daughter over for dinner one night, so we had planned it in advance, and I checked in when i was leaving work to see if I needed to pick anything up.To which he replied that it was ok, dinner was ready and they were just about to eat. So, I got home, and there are the 3 of them at the dining room table as if it is a normal evening for them. I had been getting vibes from day 1 that she had an agenda when she came over, and the  more time they spent together, and the more things that they did "as a family", and the ridiculous amounts of family photos that were taken, I was ready to walk away. Am I wrong to think that their family unit dissolved the day that the ink dried on their divorce documents? His rationale is that he likes to see his kids spending time together, that it's nice to do things as a family that they missed out on. I disagree. I am also divorced. Although my ex and I are cordial, there are no vacations together, there are no family photos, that family unit doesn't exist anymore. We didn't take vacations together when our children were young, does that mean we should do it now too? As if. The last night they were here last year, it was decided to meet at a pub (ex, SD, SS, SS-GF, SO and me) to have a drink and listen to some local music. I had been very cool with SO as I was trying to get my head around 3 weeks of BS, and I let it all out before they arrived. How I was feeling, how he was making me feel, didn't he see what the ex was up to, what the heck was going on and why the disrespect towards me? He confessed that he didn't want to upset his ex by being too close to me or touching me, she was unpredictable and he didn't know how she would react. Excuse me? Which woman are you with? Anyway, when the others arrived, she swooped into the pub with a smile on her face until she saw me there, cozied up to my SO. Then she spoke to nobody for the evening, and the anger coming from her was clearly visible. They left the next day, and I was really hoping for a few years before they came back. Wrong. SS and GF had a baby, and they decided to get married this summer. So, ex and SD came over for another 3 weeks. When I found out they were coming, I booked a week long trip with one of my besties, and had a weekend at the cottage with agroup of my other besties. I planned every spare evening and weekend so that I wouldn't be alone again while SO was out having "family time".  I saw the SD briefly at the wedding, didn't acknowledge the ex, which is not like me, and we had SD here for dinner one night. I told SO that I would love to have his daughter visit, and his son and daughter could come over anytime, but the ex is not welcome in my home. So, he spent all his evenings at his son's house, and days off were spent with (you guessed it) his ex, their son, son's wife, daughter. The icing on the cake for me was all the family photos at the wedding reception- the one in front of me was of the 4 of them from last summer. They left last Saturday, and SO and I had a long talk that evening. We have not had vacation together since a  short trip we took in 2017. We had planned some things this year, but he changed his mind and took vacation when they were going to be here instead. I understand he wants to spend time with his daughter, and I don't want to take him away from her. She could have joined us on a shortened vacation, but according to him she and her mother do everything together and if the daughter went then her mother would too. Uh, no way. I also asked why he and his daughter or he and his kids couldn't have some time just for them , but again where the daughter goes, the mother goes. My question is this: do I suck it up, and keep going down this path, or is it time to cut my losses and move into my own home again? Why do adult children insist on pushing their divorced parents together? My SO did confess a few months ago that he never really recovered from his divorce, which sent me into a bit of a tailspin. SS and GF have a beautiful baby boy, and I love him to pieces. SO reminds me that I'm not his real grandmother, that one day I'll have my own grandchildren, blah blah blah. I missed seeing him this past month. But since i'm not the real Nana, I don't count. He says I'm part of the family, but I'm really not feeling it. I'm feeling pretty confused, very resentful, and hurt. There are a lot of other things that went down last year and this year that I haven't mentioned, but you get the idea. HELP!!!!! I need direction. Thanks for reading this, and sorry it's so long.