I totally understand how you feel. Just know that one sure things are not as perfect as you think they are. Things are never perfect. For anyone. Try to focus on making your family happy. I've let my partners toxic ex get the better of me for a long time. It's taken me a long time to realize that she's not happy. She's bitter. She is also trying to out do us. 

This isnt exactly like your situation but my private theory is that there is a correlation between how much is spent on a wedding and how long it lasts: the less spent, the longer it lasts. Im making a little joke here but I've seen this often be the case.

My DH and I we're married in a private ceremony, too, so private that it was only us and a justice of the peace in Las Vegas.  Once in awhile I get wistful that I don't have what others do, wedding pictures, in particular.  On the other hand, I have something many don't have, a 46-year marriage to a good man.

I'm sorry you are separated and missing family.  At some point, this will be over.  I'd try to put the ex out of your mind as much as possible. It's good that she had a new DH, it should stabilize things.   Who knows whats down the road for her, or any of us.  Important thing is you have your dear DH and all are healthy.  Good luck.