As the girl that goes away when the skids come over, I'd say all I ever wish for in this relationship is that my CL quits bringing his kids here.

I know it's too much to ask for any father to do, but if the kids are ruining the relationship, at some point one of the relationships is going to have to end.

I already know I'll be moving out.... just a matter of when.

I feel bad that you're in this situation. Good luck.

Your girlfriend leaves on the weekends with your daughter because you, the parent, aren't able/willing to straighten out your daughter. You've got to man up and let her know that her behavior isn't acceptable in your home. It is very difficult to be around a father who is unwilling to parent his children. It will wear anyone down, no matter how much love there is.

RyM, I feel just awful for you and I'm not sure this is the best site to improve your outlook on things. I will second baseballgirly, there have been many times where I've internally jumped for joy because the SS's weren't coming for visitation...and yes, a lot of us realize that our relationship is on a timer were just never sure when it's going off. I guess all I can suggest is maybe some counseling to help you figure out what's best for you. I know that there are also lots of support groups for men in your situation. I would trying googling support groups for divorced dads or something to that effect in the mean time. It sounds like you are already ahead of the curve as you see the manipulation and bad behavior and your trying to figure out how to solve the problem. Best wishes and good luck. Keep us posted.

Sounds like you have the right to talk to a lawyer about parental alienation syndrome. Your daughter seems to be the vehicle that BM is working through to get to you.

I agree with previous posters. Maybe you are not handling your daughter's visits well? Is she being rude to your GF?

I for one want to step in and speak for your daughter. She is only six years old, and she is having to be in a position of being emotionally manipulated by her BM and deal with the loss of her father being around, except on weekends.

Little kids that young do not have the ability to resist, nor stand up to a parent who is twisting their mind. They trust the parent is doing what is best. They are too young and inexperienced to know the difference.

I would really recommend you get your daughter to a good CHILD counselor, who SPECIALIZES in situations such as this. Parental Alienation is not healthy for the child. If your EX can't stop being such a jerk, and think about her DAUGHTER more than her desire to get back at you, you might want to consider getting custody of your daughter - and the both of you get counseling to help your daughter and you deal with this situation. Get counseling anyway - the both of you, even if you don't get custody.

Despite the fact that your EX stopped taking birth control, you both brought a daughter into this world together, and although it is understandable your frustration, and desire for a happy life, you have a responsibility to your daughter. Help her grow up to be a healthy young woman. A father's influence on a daughter is BIG. Try and be the best dad you can.

Good luck.

I agree w/ Thatgirl, no matter WHAT is going on at ex's you need to start putting your foot down with your girl. Lots of divorced parents have different rules at the different households, you need to do what is healthy for YOUR home and honey. Please don't give up on your girl, she needs discipline, not abandonment. You'll feel love for her again when you get her under control. Again, stress to her the rules at YOUR house. Kids are smart, she'll get it. She's still young, I don't think it's hopeless.Good luck and God bless.

i dont think you should have to stop seeing your daughter, and i also dont think your GF should have to leave HER home cause of your daughter. your EX is a twisted bitch, and needs to be stopped. i agree you need to read up on PA and also speak to a lawyer and a therapist.

i have a friend who is going through what you are, for the past 7 years she has had to deal with her DH's twin daughters, who are now 13. they have a BM who is also jealous but wont admit it. my friend has gone through horrible things and is in the process of leaving her DH (thankfully, no other children are involved so its easy for her to walk away).

your daughter is so young, and needs to have at least one stable parent, mentally stable. you may that parent. please dont give up on her yet, do what you can. and dont give up on your GF. good luck.

I agree with not the mom, she's only six years old, you should either try and get custody or spend more time with her.

I wonder if you have any idea how to raise a child? Have you read books? Attended parenting classes? Or are you grasping blindly through all of this with the anticipation that you will eventually "get it"?

I would start with a single parent support group or a single fathers support group. When your daughter says "You love GF more than me.." you tell her over and over again "No, I love both of you. I love you because you are my little girl and no one will ever be my 1st little girl like you."

When she plays up around your GF you need to put her in time out. Then hug her and tell her you love her. Over and over and over again.

Her mother is not doing her any favours but you ARE in a position to negate the damage.

I am sure having a child is the last thing you wanted. But consider if this is your only child you will EVER have. Would you like to walk away because right now it is hard to parent her?

I have an ex Brother in law who left his marriage to my sister and walked out of his 5 yr old daughters life. I view him with distaste and he is a lesser person because of it. He has missed out an being part of Em's life. His loss is greater than hers.

You have an opportunity to parent and minimalise the damage her mother is causing. If her behaviour is so horrendous counselling is definitely called for.

Try it, she is worth more than you know right now.

Please do NOT give up your daughter! I agree with the other posters - please seek advise and counseling and put your foot down with her.

But i also have a different view & not knowing you it is hard to tell. Here is my story:

When my BD12 was 4, her Dad met SM. Dad was a full on disney & guilty dad. When SM came along, Dad was holding SM's hand. Dad co-slept with BD and BD got kicked out of his bed abruptly for SM. A few months into their living together & just before marriage my BD came home to me very distraught. (my ex lives out of state) For almost 2 wks straight my BD cried about how Daddy loves SM more than her, Daddy holds SM's hand now & not hers & so on .... I had no idea what to do & it didn't matter what i told her (her dad loves her & such)- she did NOT believe me. Upon a breakdown with BD in my lap and staring at her toys i said to her: You know how your bear is your most fav toy that you will always love no matter what? she said yeah. I said you know your new toy that you play with all the time that is your favorite? BD said yeah. I said well you are daddys most fav toy that he will always love and SM is daddys new toy. I know this sounds bad & was worded a little different as it was 8 yrs ago -- but it worked! She sighed a big sigh of relief & just held me. My BD also thought that her half brother was loved more than her too after he was born to her dad & sm ... went thru that one too

So the point is: It is possible your BD has thought these thoughts on her own. What would have happened if my BD hadn't shared her thoughts with me? She would have them bottled up and exploded! WHat if she shared them and i didn't have a brilliant analogy like i did? She still would have felt that way. I am by far not a nut job, jealous of my ex and never talk bad about them, but i am sure i could have easily got blamed for my BD's thoughts ....

I just wanted to step in here and say I totally understand your grief. I know my FDH has thrown around the idea in his head that if he just lets his son go that maybe BM won't pull such nasty shit on him. Not only that, it takes a toll. I know a lot of women on here will say DONT GIVE UP! SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER! But the fact of the matter is you are only human. You can only handle so much. Everyone has a breaking point. I don't think this should be done for anyone else. But being through what I've been through and my FDH has been through: Sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

Look RyM she is only 6, she is practically a baby, and her Bio mother is certainly doing her mental and emotional harm, so why would you want to allow your daughter (no matter what the circumstances of her birth), to be treated like that. I am not aware if we have the parentel alienation clause in Australia, but apparently you have, so it would appear that you have a good shot of getting the child away from her mother and into your care. HOWEVER, this will not work either unless you are prepared to not make excuses for your daughters behaviour, not even think that it is all the bio mums fault, forget the bio mum even existed and deal with the behaviour in the moment, don't look for things to justify it with.

Your girlfriend deserves your respect and support, and by allowing your daughter to treat your girlfriend in such a way that she no longer wants to stay in your own home during visitation weekends is not the way to keep your girlfriend.

Set clear boundaries for your daughter, do not allow rudeness, expect and demand a please and thank you at all times and be consistant, no she's tired, or she went on a visit to mum so we'll let that tantrum go. Absolutely clear and concise guidelines that she can follow remembering she is only six but being aware she will be 16 in a minute.

She needs to know how thing work in your home and that can be done by being firm and consitant, it's harder than it sounds but it will work, just be consistant, even when you're tired.

My husband spoilt his daughter rotten, he is the love of my life, his daughter came into my life 8 years ago as a 21 year old who had been daddy's little princess who could no wrong all her life. Now, I am preparing in my mind and heart to leave him, for one reason and one reason only he has failed to stop his daughter from being rude to me, from running her smart mouth off at me, for coming into my home with lemon vodkas and offering them to her brothers, her sister in law, her father and NOT me. She has done this repeatedly in her home and mine, and my husband has never, never once said enough, or that's rude, he has said not one word to her. His response to my complaints over the last 8 years, "you just don't like her, she didn't do that, I didn't hear that" I didn't see that" she didn't mean it that way, you're to sensitive." So what I am hearing is this rude woman who is clearly suffering from some sort of personality disorder is not at fault whenever she abuses me without provocation, or even when she abuses her father." I'm just too sensitive translation to me - it's all my fault. No support there, no love from my husband, nothing but defending this woman who has actually said she would like to see us both dead.

So if you don't want your six year old to turn into this 29 year old, and you don't want to lose the love of your life - man up, take control, be a father as hard as that is (I understand), and change the way things are. Do not allow your 6 year old to chase your partner out of her own home because you cannot put your foot down and teach your daughter the right way to behave in your home. It may be in your best interests to speak to your girlfriend, find out exactly what she thinks should be going on in HER home, what she wants in order to stay home on visitation weekends, and work on it together, Remember your daughter is going to grow up one day, she is only passing through your life on the way to her own, but it is your responsibilty to teach her right from wrong, or you will be stuck with her ruining every relationship you ever enter into for the rest of your life.

Your relationship with your girlfriend is the most important thing, get that right, get the two of you on the same page, work together , respect each other and the rest will follow. BUT IT IS DAMN HARD WORK. Good Luck.