Guilt ridden over the holidays ~ No invites because of COVID
With the numbers going up yet again, we were not planning anything for Thanksgiving with anyone outside of our household. It seems to be a given that most people are not having holiday guests this year.
DH has been on board with this idea and as a matter of fact seemed like it was his idea. All of the sudden today he mentions he is not sure what his kids were doing or his parents. His kids never come with us for Thanksgiving but maybe BM'ss family has canceled things and they will be looking for a place to eat. God forbid BM cook and have them.
DH's parents I get they are elderly and only have so many more holidays but the virus could get any of us. Keep in mind that his parents are never home and have not been since the Pandemic started. They attend every event they are invited to and have people over constantly. As elderly people in their 80's they are not afraid at all of the virus. I get that kind of, maybe they feel they are old and they don't want to spend their time hiding but what about the rest of us.
Also not to mention, no one in DH's family makes plans and sticks to them. Every year DH works Thanksgiving and dinner is only going to be he and I, and I end up shopping the day before because we add 6-8 people the night before Thanksgiving. This year I thought I was home free from that chaos because no one would be coming because of the virus. I don't want anyone alone or to tell DH he can't see his parents or kids, BUT this year it is not a good idea. Plus I am not running out to the store 100 times,
I feel so guilty but I don't want to get exposed and I nevr have anyone in my house. Then I would feel I had to wipe everything down!! If we are going to take a risk and try to have something, I would rather it was Christmas... Thoughts?? How is everyone handling this and how can I handle this without hurt feelings??
Because COVID is a very valid
Because COVID is a very valid reason not to have anyone over. It's just plain common sense. Do these people WANT to be part of the statistics? And how dare they decide whether YOU should take risks because of them?!
Thank you Winterglow
I didn't think of it that way but you're so right!!
Set your boundaries, and
Set your boundaries, and stick with them, it's one holiday.
We are having one friend over (who has been quarantining because she broke her foot and can't get out anyway). Maybe her son, who is a teen and is not out and about being crazy, if he doesn't go with his dad. We were supposed to go visit my sister after Thanksgiving, but will not be doing that, because they don't really take the pandemic seriously, and DH is high-risk.
Stick to your guns and give DH a loud NO.
Thank you Tog
It is a very different year. I can't be exepcted to have all of those drop ins.... not to mention that they don't social distance. I think DH just feels bad about his kids. But they have BM too!
With my mom having cancer we
With my mom having cancer we (brother/wife, Sister/BF, Parents, and my family) all got the facebook portals. I am actually really happy with how our holiday will look now. I am going to be dropping off food to my parents, my brother and his wife and my MIL are still coming over, my sister will be in another state but we will all eat together. I think it is kind of the best of a crappy situation.
Sorry about your mom
It sounds like a good plan you have
I get the concern. I am high
I get the concern. I am high risk (autoimmune conditions) and have been primarily quarantined since early March. I go to the grocery store mid week about once a month, occassionally more often but rarely. We have gone out to dinner a few times but always in socially distanced situations.
We are going to my parents for the week of TG. They live alone (together) and pretty much are totally quarantined with any time out of the house being socially distanced. All of my brother's kids are going to be there for TG day along with two of their SOs. All have been working from home and principally quarantined. My youngest nephew did have Covid in August and spent two weeks quarantined in a hotel that the University took over as their Covid quarantine facility. He has been clear for over three months. Our good friend will also be joining us at mom and dad's for TG. She has also been primarily quarantined for months with only limited socially distanced time in public. Her DH has been stuck in the Middle East for nearly a year. They locked down that country in Jan 2020 when the whole mess began.
While I completely respect the disease and the protocols for minimizing the risk of exposure, I also think that we can't write off our lives and relationships due to this pandemic. I don't want the virus and do not want to give it to anyone else. But... life has to find a way to happen.
We will be masked, socially distanced, slathering with sanitizer, and also enjoying time and feasting as a family.