You are here

This hellish nightmare is finally over..... or is it

sarah1971's picture

Submitted by sarah1971 on Tue, 09/22/2009 - 8:59pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

After 3 weeks of living hell wondering if my husband would leave me for his "new GF"(see old post for full details) he called me at work to tell me he was moving out. He said do to our conversation last night (again my fault) he decided to look for anouther place to live and had an appointment tonight to look at an apartment. Now up to this point he always complained how poor he was and never had any money(true do to his controlling ex). Well I was surprised and maybe a little hurt that he is planing on moving into the most expensive and exclusive condos in town. I'm hurt as I KNOW the only reason he is doing this is to impress and pamper the "new GF". How he is going to do afford this is behond me but maybe when your in "true love" like he says he is you find a way.

Anouther thing that is painful about this is when he divorced his 1st wife he lived with his brother for 3 months then found someplace to live but not this time. Its like hes desperate to get his own place quickly so he has a romantic place to lavish attention on his "new GF". The worse part of all is this place that he is moving to is not 2 miles from where I live. This means I will run into him and worse him and her at the grocery store,movies,mall, restaurants EVERWHERE! It will be pure torcher to see them out as a happy married couple. Yes I could move but where? I have no family left and the few friends that I still have all live local. I'm still in shock about the whole thing not 4 weeks ago we were planing a special anniversary now my husband is leaving me for anouther women.

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Tue, 09/22/2009 - 9:17pm

I am so sorry honey. The only thing I can say is, this too will pass. You will be better off and who knows, maybe meet someone who is a lot NICER to you!!!! It will hurt but we are here for you. I bet you won't see him either!!!
_________________________________________________________
Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.

William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2

RB's picture

Submitted by RB on Tue, 09/22/2009 - 9:32pm

He sounds like he is self centered. You'll find someone much better than him. Give yourself time to heal. You are a better person than he is.

sweetthing's picture

Submitted by sweetthing on Wed, 09/23/2009 - 7:32am

What city are you in? Maybe one of us lives near you. I am so sorry that he has done this & that you are feeling so alone. Like RB says you will be better off, he doesn't deserve you.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 9:14am

Hang in There!!! You will be fine and you will meet someone that treats you the way you deserve to be treated. You are going to be better off without him. Don't worry about running into him, he is the ass!!! I have a feeling that in a few months he is going to find out that the grass isn't greener and by then you will be happier as ever and he will be alone.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 9:16am

Oh and quit letting him blame everything on you. He is just doing that to make himself feel better because he knows what he's doing is wrong.

lovelovelove's picture

Submitted by lovelovelove on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 9:23am

But let me just tell you, this guy has MAJOR ISSUES if he just keeps hopping around from woman to woman. He obviously has commitment issues and TRUST ME, he will leave this new girl as soon as the "newness" wears off. Just don't let his sorry ass come running back to you. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER!!

This is such a good thing...that he is finally leaving without you having to find a way to get him out of YOUR house. You need to call his family and tell them EVERYTHING!! I hope you're planning on ratting his sorry ass out because he deserves to look like the asshole he is!

I am SO sorry that you have been through so much hell. This jerk has NO SOUL apparently if he can do this to you and not even blink an eye. What a scumbag!! I'm sorry, this just pisses me off to the nth degree.

Please let us know if you need anything. We will all be here to help you, just ask.

Sarah, you WILL find someone who treats you like a queen. He is out there, you just have to be patient and be STRONG. Turn to your friends, turn to a counselor...whatever you have to do to heal your own heart. I have faith in you, you can do this!

I am praying for you.

Love Smile

bioandstep2009's picture

Submitted by bioandstep2009 on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 9:25am

Sorry sarah but I'm glad he's moving out! Good f***in riddance! And as for his new love shack, I doubt he'll be able to keep that up 'cause it sounds like he has a champagne appetite on a beer budget. Karma's a bitch too... He'll get his, don't worry.... The ex of 6 years who cheated on me, moved in the chick AND got engaged to her after years of not being able to commit to me - he got his. SHE cheated on HIM several times with her ex (father of her child) AND got pregnant by said ex. She terminated the pregnancy on ex-BF's dime and cheated on him AGAIN with someone else. Now, he's stuck with an expensive engagement ring and is SINGLE still. This was a couple of years ago. In the mean time, I'm engaged and happier than ever. See? Karma...

bioandstep2009's picture

Submitted by bioandstep2009 on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 9:33am

P.S. I wonder how he plans on explaining things to his son. Not that it's really your concern, but I do feel bad for this child. His father is a class "A" JACKASS. You should call or write a letter to his family and let them know about this because they'll need to help with his son, who is yet another innocent bystander in all of this. Better yet, sic the BM on him! Let his family and BM give HIM a hard time over this! And if you haven't already done this, take all of your money and establish a separate account. F*** him... There's NO way that you should accidentally help to finance his new place.

sarah1971's picture

Submitted by sarah1971 on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 2:13pm

My husband texted me at work asking me if I could not only watch SS this weekend but take him 3 hours up north to my uncles camp so he could pack/move out! I was shocked after all he put me through he would have the balls to ask me to watch his kid for the weekend.

I did tell his family everything and they did feel sorry for me(I think). But as the saying goes blood is thicker than water and basically their loyalty is with my husband and made excuse for his behavior.

Another problem is our 3 cats. One is mine but the other 2 my husband wanted to get from the human society. I asked him to take at least one cat and at first he agreed but now he seems to not want to(maybe the "new GF" hates cats who knows). I am a animal lover and can't just dump his cats off at the pound but I plan on moving to a new apartment for a fresh start and it will cost me a small fortune to keep all three($500 each cat then $25/mo for each cat). I just can't afford all this extra money right now.

What hurts the most is my husband does not even seem upset where i'm being torn up inside over this. He no longer wears his wedding ring at all, stays out all night and when he is home has a smile on his face like a kid in the candy store. Plus the fact he can't wait to get the hell out and have his own place to bring his "New GF". After 7 years you would think he would just out of morals and respect would want to cool it for at least a few months.

Squillion's picture

Submitted by Squillion on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 3:46pm

Don't you dare watch his kid.

Or let him see you cry.

You're better and your life is doing to get better by leaps and bounds now that you're unsaddled from this loser.

His "love shack" won't be a love shack for long... as guys like this never change. He'll be onto the next flame once this girl stops stroking his ego.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Apartment complexes typically don't check for how many pets you have... why don't you pay the deposit for 1 and then just see how long before they say something? They likely won't notice and if they do, they'll have to give you 30 days to find them a home.

SerendipitySM's picture

Submitted by SerendipitySM on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 3:54pm

Sarah honey, I am so very sorry for what you are going through. Karma is a bitch and I bet it will bite him in the ass in no time!!

Wait until his new G/F meets his son and has to deal with him on a regular basis - once she is no longer the center of attention or as soon as the inevitable "step" issues arise, I bet she'll drop his ass like a hot potato!!!

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 4:18pm

But "OH HELL NO"... Your DH has balls bigger than (graphic!)

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_UT2XJXPyLV8/SQARGsl0RsI/AAAAAAAACuQ/Gb3EYHNij0...

Or maybe I should say his brain is in his balls and he's an idiot.

Either way... please don't even think twice about this jerkoff. He can find his own babysitter.

He did you a favor by leaving. I hope that now that he has made his decision, you will live happier and better than ever. He will regret this.

Stay strong... and don't let this *%$&*** get you down for even one little teeny eeney weeney minute!

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

Squillion's picture

Submitted by Squillion on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 4:11pm

Warn me, Ma'am... I'm at the office! Smile

Conflicted's picture

Submitted by Conflicted on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 4:48pm

Ive been through this too.... except my cheating hubby left me for my best friend so I lost two very important people all at once.... I fought it, I cried, I embarassed myself, I tried everything I could to hold on.... to hold on to what??

Now I see what a great favor my ex did for me.... I would have never let go.... but he took the choice from me and it was the best thing he EVER did for me!

I know how bad this hurts honey and I know that nothing any of us say is going to help ease the pain.... I also know that once you get a little distance you will see that you what you are trying to hold on to is soooooo not worth it.... this guy CHEATED on you and he IS leaving you.... he does not feel one ounce of guilt for his actions.... he does not get it and hes not going to get it.... so F him!

You WILL find better. You WILL be happy (for real this time). You are NOT going to end up the lonely cat lady.... I know you don't believe that now.... but I promise its true... Hes doing you a favor.

Gana's picture

Submitted by Gana on Tue, 09/29/2009 - 9:31am

Sarah, believe me we have all been through it. Do not watch his son for what, so he could go be with her. NO WAY... Get yourself together and you will definitely find someone that wants to be with you and love you. Just keep that in your head and don't let anyone tell you differently. You will get through this. FYI:: like Justin Timberlake song says,::: "What comes around goes around" oh, and he will get his.

Chele's picture

Submitted by Chele on Wed, 09/30/2009 - 9:39am

Sara, coming in a little late on this, but I have followed your blogs, and I'm so sorry it has come to this. A lot of the ladies here have givin you some great advice. Stay strong. You are done doing things for this man, he wants to be out on his own w/ new gf, then that includes EVERYTHING, including HIS kid. As far as the future goes, ask yourself, where do you want to be, when his" house of cards" falls down?? (it WILL fall believe me). You want to be some place strong, happy, and successful! Go out there, and "build your own house". Make it stone! Smile ~ " I'm awful sorry you got pissed, just have to cross you off the list, of my true friends." PHISH~