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Help me cope

lisa510's picture

Submitted by lisa510 on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 3:53pm

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i am having a really hard time dealing with my step daughter. i don't know if it's jealousy, inexperience, or my personality.

i have two teenage boys with my ex husband. they live with him. i married my present husband and moved in with him and his son. his daughter lived with her mom. my husband's son is 21 and his daughter is 16.

his daughter started having problems with her mom's live-in boyfriend; big problems. so she came to live with us.

my first issue: i really have a hard time "raising" someone else's kids. i resent the fact that i don't have my teenage boys. i know it's bad, but it's my true feelings

second issue: my step daughter has a really strong personality. she's moody and she is very unappreciative. as much as I try to win her over, it can't be done. she's disrespectful to her dad and that really pisses me off.

third issue: even with her disrespectful attitude, my husband babies her. it makes my skin crawl

forth issue: neither of my step-children cooperate in the household. they don't clean anything: not their rooms, their bathroom, nothing. they leave dishes everywhere, burp loud and ignore me.

i love my husband, but I feel like i wanna leave our home sometimes. the pressure is too much and when I talk to him, he doesn't get it

I don't know how to do this!

lisa510's picture

Submitted by lisa510 on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 4:30pm

I'll look for the book. I hate feeling like this. I typically feel like packing my crap and leaving him with his sloppy kids. But I love him a lot and he is a good man. He just sucks as a dad. My two boys do their laundry, take out the trash, clean up their bathroom, vacuum around the house, mow the lawn and take care of the animals. Unfortunately, they live with their dad, not me. But my ex and I raised our two boys that way -- they are used to being team players in keeping the house clean.

my stepson NEVER mows the lawn, but as soon as he needs help working on his car, his dad is right there with him. my stepdaughter NEVER cleans the bathroom, but as soon as she wants to go somewhere, she pouts and daddy gives in. he's such a sucker!!

i'm beside myself - some days i'm more pissed off than other days - today is one of those days! blah!!!

disneymom78's picture

Submitted by disneymom78 on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 5:58pm

Sometime I to feel like running from my house screaming when we have the boys. Unappreciative, tell me about that is why I had to start coming to this web site to hear others vent and to vent myself. You sound like a strong loving wife. I don't think your husband would think bad of implementing basic chores especially if he's tired of doing it himself too.

Bio-Dad's I THINK (it's just a hypothosis) will be overlay leinent with their Bio-Kids. Sometimes this has to do with the BM and past influences. I've seen this with my brother. His daughter could do no wrong, but I think that comes from trying to be the parent the kids like the most. IDS THOUGHTS?

Anywho, this is still YOUR home. The attitides wont go away overnight but they can at least clean while they bitch right? hehe LOL.