How to keep my comments to myself...
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My tongue hurts from biting it!
Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds it extremely difficult to keep my mouth shut regarding how DH and the bitch BM raise their brat!!! The brat is almost 7 and continues to get in trouble at school and is awful at home! And sometimes I think to myself "you two are such lame parents" DH has finally started to see his kid for what he is and has taken measures to correct his sons behaviors but BM won't hear of it! I feel like I'm watching a slow train wreck! I've tried giving my opinions but it's exhausting! "Not my kid-not my problem" has become my mantra! The brats parents will reap what they sew with this kid! It's just hard to stay out of it.....
Thanks for letting me vent!
No, you are not the only one.
No, you are not the only one. I am the same way. I have disengaged, BUT, man, there are times where I want to do the same thing as you. There are moments where the level of ridiculousness rises to where I want to just scream at DH for him to do something, do anything, just DO SOMETHING!!!! Stop letting this kid run all over you! I stay in my room most of the time that skid is here, but I can hear it thru the walls, I hear it when I come out, it is just disgusting. Totally feel ya on this.
Before I learned to
Before I learned to disengage, I would speak up for my DH. When SD was 8 she told DH he was lying about giving BM child support.I couldn't believe it. We could not use the word lie when I was growing and saying it to an adult (your father) well we weren't that Bold. He didn't say a Word. So I told her don't you dare speak to your father that way. It's disrespectful! she went home crying to BM. And the rest is history. I don't say anything anymore. I just drink lots of WINE. :jawdrop:
Oh I know!! If I had behaved
Oh I know!! If I had behaved like some of these kids do, I shudder at the thought of what would have happened to me. If I had ever called my parents liars, oh holy hell, I would have been done for! If I acted like my skid does, my parents would have locked me up in a psych ward and not felt bad about it one damn bit. I don't say anything to skid at all anymore, with DH, every once in a while, I let it get me and something slips, like I can't believe you let him yell that at you, because it still just BAFFLES me that this man lets a child treat him like he does, but not very often, and especially not since I found this lovely place. I'd say wine sales across America are boosted every week due to stepparent consumption.
Come here to vent. Exercise.
Come here to vent. Exercise. Read. Do some housework. Email a friend or relative. Garden. Do some grocery shopping. And let your dh have your frustration in full. At 7 this kid is a product of how he's parented.
You used my favorite word to
You used my favorite word to describe how the kids behavior repulses me DISGUSTING! I literally get to the point where I too have to just walk away for fear of going off on DH/that kid! But when I see the way the Mom responds to the kid (like he's a baby) I know things won't change even if I make suggestions! Greeter-
It is the only way I know how
It is the only way I know how to describe it, it truly is just disgusting. I am disgusted with DH and his blind permissiveness, with skid for being an absolute turd and thriving on it, just yuck!!! BM is the same way, she is so clueless on how to parent she is either having a fit like him, stooping to his level, or she is all, "baby, this, baby, that" he is NOT a baby. I am like you, I watched for three years now at how much worse it gets and I know it will not get better. Skid has all kinds of mental issues as well, so even if they did change over night, and he was held accountable for his actions, it wouldn't matter in the end anyway. It just pisses me off to no end to see my husband be so ran over and pretty much just roll over and ask for more. It is a protective instinct I think, as a wife, if someone is doing wrong to our husband's, we want to step in, but in this situation, we are the only ones that get hurt in the end, so piss on it.
Shit.. I hear that! It's just
Shit.. I hear that! It's just pathetic really - so damned pathetic!!! I heard DH telling SD off about being lazy with cleaning her room, not doing her homework etc etc.. then I heard her tell hm to "get out of my room". OMG. I nearly fell over. I waited for the explosion.. but..nope..nothin'..zip..nada.. he just stormed out and then took his anger out on me later.. MASSIVE ARGUMENT between the two of us.
I later, hear him sweet talking to her like nothing happened. I wanted to friggin' vomit on his head. Boy - did I lose respect for him then.. I've noticed a pattern between them - she'll do something wrong/stupid, he'll berate her.. she'll talk back.. and then later.. he's sweet talking her and acting like everything's roses.. oh lord.. give me patience or give me a spade so I can scoop his fucking balls up out of her hands and put them firmly back into his pants. Goddamit!!
ROFL...I was thinking lump of
ROFL...I was thinking lump of coals but tampons are so much more effective.
Amen! The BM is always
Amen! The BM is always calling the kid "baby!" When he gets in trouble at school-almost daily. She'll say " oh baby I'm sorry you got in trouble try harder tomorrow." What!? The step kid is the product of poor parenting, good luck to him! And good luck to all of us!
LMAO the epitome of my DH,
LMAO the epitome of my DH, SD21 is a LOSER, horrible mother, and I literally could tell no difference talking to her and my niece who is 13. He and BM were horrible parents, DH enables and BM did nothing and let everyone else "raise" her. Like blind leading the blind ? I like Anon said just dont say anything cause its not. my. problem. Its so funny that DH can be a great father with bios (all boys) but cant do shit with SD, nothing but excuses.
LMAO the epitome of my DH,
LMAO the epitome of my DH, SD21 is a LOSER, horrible mother, and I literally could tell no difference talking to her and my niece who is 13. He and BM were horrible parents, DH enables and BM did nothing and let everyone else "raise" her. Like blind leading the blind ? I like Anon said just dont say anything cause its not. my. problem. Its so funny that DH can be a great father with bios (all boys) but cant do shit with SD, nothing but excuses.
I have exactly the same
I have exactly the same problem - my skids are older but their manners are not up to much and though not a BM myself, I certainly would have brought any children up of my own with good manners and with entirely different values - my skids are all totally materialistic.
The problem we all have as stepmoms as I see it is that on one level we are meant to be involved with our OH in the daily care and nurturing of these kids (to a degree) but on another level we are expected to have no opinion on how this is effected and certainly no input on how to put things right. Not possible in my view.
It's a daunting task isn't
It's a daunting task isn't it. I'm still trying to teach myself to do it. I've slipped once or twice, but overall I'm biting my tongue well
I usually disengage and walk
I usually disengage and walk away, its really hard though when he lets her break the rule of no dogs in the house and then she brings them in and gives me a haha look. I bite my tongue. I hope the dam thing cramps upstairs on our brand new carpet and pisses. I wont be cleaning it up!
What a dis to me.
we never let them in.