PRODUCT OF POOR PARENTING
Need to vent!
Anyone else subjected to an awful child who is 100% the product of poor parenting?!!!!! I know it's not the kids fault he sucks, it's his mom & dads but it's not my fault either! It's frustrating to me that my guy thinks I should love his son unconditionally (barf) only for the reason that he is his kid! Ummm no! I didn't choose to bring his awful 7 year old into this world and allow him to be on his own program! I tolerate the kid and that's the best I can do! This boy mind you is a disrespectful, whiny and awful child! The parents are just now realizing how bad he is due to the fact he gets in trouble almost every day at school. But they make excuses for his behavior and therefore they dint really do anything about it. I'm just going to sit back and watch this unfold for them and try to stay out of it. They'll reap what they sew!
Yup! Two of 'em! DH is on
Yup! Two of 'em! DH is on board the parenting train now, but it wasn't until after he and BM were divorced, when the skids were 10 and 5. The damage had already been done by then, especially to SS14. BM has never been a "parent." Still isn't . She undermines everything good DH and I try to do. DH takes full responsibility for his previous lack of parenting, and sees a striking difference between his kids and my BS16.
The skids are very poor students, always have been. They've had poor school attendance until the last couple years, and it still isn't great on BM's weeks. They can NOT think for themselves. I mean at all. Lots of learned helplessness. It's extremely frustrating for me to watch, especially since I've raised my son completely opposite.
I agree that you need to disengage. You didn't ruin the kid, and you can't fix him. If his parents aren't doing that, oh well. Never, ever, ever do more for the kid than the parents are willing to do. I support my husband when he asks for it, but they're not my kids.
With noncustodials
With noncustodials (especially the dads) the Disneyland dad style of parenting is out of sheer guilt.
These dads run terrified of parenting/guiding/disciplining. As a result no parenting at all the the kids run loose. If dad tries to guide/parent, he kids scream, "I hate you!!" and dads tails go between their legs. ITs pathetic to see a grown man turned into a coward by a child.
Once kids become adults its too late.