I am so p!ssed right now
Last week sometime SO gets a text at like 3 am from someone saying that they find him attractive. He told me this when we both got up in the morning. When I got home from work he told me that he had texted them back asking them who they were. Apparently it was some girl who thought that it was fate that she had texted him. Last night at about midnight he gets a text saying hey. When he texted back asking who it was the response was some chick. So he texted that's great lose my number. I had drank a couple of glasses of wine last night so I called her and asked her why she texting my SO at midnight. She told me that they went out on a couple of dates and she was trying to get in touch with him again. Fine whatever. SO and I were sitting out in the garage and he was telling me that he had dated a lot of girls before we met. There was one girl that he has mentioned before that he went out on a date with that told him that she had herpies. Obviously that was the last date they went on but when I brought it up he went off about how gorgeous she was. Not just once but repeated the word gorgeous. I got pissed because SO has never told me that I am gorgeous. But this girl that he dated well over a year ago deserves that title. WTF. So what am I then. The laundry b!tch. Then when I got upset he called me the same thing that he calls his cracy ex wife that made our life hell and is still trying to do that. I am so p!ssed right now and I find it rather interesting that all of a sudden he has women texting him at all hours of the night and the fact that he waited until he went to work to text the it's fate chick back.
OMG, I know you're seeing
OMG, I know you're seeing red. Do you trust this guy or no?
I would like to think that I
I would like to think that I can trust him. What would you think if you were in this situation?
He's such an idiot. He can't
He's such an idiot. He can't even figure out why I'm so pissed right now.
Well, first of all, men
Well, first of all, men aren't mind readers, so TELL him why you're pissed, LOL. And tell him how disrespectful his tirade about Miss GORGEOUS was toward you, for God's sake.
Personally, I find it very hard to trust anyway, so if I knew my SO was being contacted like this, I wouldn't feel comfortable at all. He can only handle it in one of two ways: ignore the contact completely, or call his cell company and have the numbers blocked. Either way, it's creepy; my boyfriend doesn't really seem to draw attention from other women like this, and if he did, I wouldn't handle it well, LOL. Then again, we met less than 2 weeks after he separated from his ex, so he didn't have much opportunity to make a name for himself out there on the dating scene.
Thats really odd that this
Thats really odd that this girl is texting him I am glad he told her to lose his number. I would also be upset he called her that and repeated it! I went to a baptism once with my SO and this girl walked out of church wearing zebra leggings and to me that just was not appropriate. So I had made some kind of comment and he was like well she looks hot....................I have never been called hot by him serious? We didnt speak for two days but he hasnt done that again. Men are just dumb sometimes
The only reason why he told
The only reason why he told her to lose his number is because I told him to do it and it wasn't this girl that's gorgeous. It was another girl that he dated almost 2 years ago. He'll be lucky if I talk to him ever again at this point.
This morning he actually had the nerve to send me a text saying that he loves me and hates it when I get into one of those moods. Really????? One of my moods huh. How is him being an inconsiderate a-hole one of my moods?
OOOO I thought he did it on
OOOO I thought he did it on his own.....so when she texted him did he look surprised?? Something sounds fishy and he doesnt understand why your mad?? He is either completely clueless or very insensitive
When I told him to tell her
When I told him to tell her to lose his number he told me that I am so mean. WTF. Some chick is texting my SO at midnight and I'm the mean one.
men are so so dumb. i think
men are so so dumb. i think it comes down to if you trust him or not. i mean he did tell the girl to lose his number, which is a good sign, but if YOU really feel uncomfortable and this girl is not backing down then i would have the number blocked. absolutely.
also, i would talk to SO about why he called this herpes girl gorgeous but not you- and how that hurts you and WHY you are now moody because of it. men are just so stupid they don't understand.
That's funny. I actually call
That's funny. I actually call her herpies girl. Infact that's what sparked his little gorgeous comments last night. He was defending her by telling me how gorgeous she was after I had called her herpies girl.
ewww he defended her? As if
ewww he defended her? As if somehow its okay to have herpes as long as your pretty? or im sorry gorgeous
He wasn't defending her
He wasn't defending her because she has herpies. I have called her that many times. He was defending her.
Turn the tables on him, start
Turn the tables on him, start talking about a guy you dated that was drop dead GORGEOUS! See how he feels about it. Then when he is good and upset telling it doesn't feel so good does it?? Most of the time I find that men need to experience it before they can understand. I say this all the time if at first you tell him and he doesn't get it then do the same to him and see how he feels. 9 times out of 10 they get it once it has been done to them. They need to go through he same feelings. Let us know how it goes.
When he responded back to the
When he responded back to the girl that texted him last week and ask her who she was she told him that she was the drunk girl in the blue dress at some high school. When I got home from work the next day he explained this to me and I automatically assumed it was a high school girl. Last night when I was upset and brought this up I found out about the it's fate text she had sent him, funny he forgot to mention that when he told me that he texted her back, and that she's not a high school girl. How do you know that SO? I'm guessing that there's a lot more to their conversation that has been left out.
And why the heck is he texting her back when he is with me?
HAH-- I wouldn't trust this
HAH-- I wouldn't trust this guy as far as I could throw him. Run. Fast.
I just can't believe him.
I just can't believe him. He'll defend gorgeous herpies girl and let his ex wife sh!t on me. Somethings not right here.
girl I've been down that rd
girl I've been down that rd before, but I have to tell, you that I'm very sorry for you, but there is no way you should trust him,,,,haven't you asked him why these girls have his number in the first place?
You aren't being petty. Men
You aren't being petty. Men don't have the ability to think past their junk. OK - that's not all men, but a lot of the men "featured" on this site! I could have gone up one side of him and down the other had he twice reminded me that Herp Girl is gorgeous. BUT remember one thing - he probably mentioned she was gorgeous because he feels badly about himself for dating Herp Girl. He had to persuade HIMSELF that even though she had HERP, she was still pretty. That wasn't about shoving it down your throat - that was his insecurity. It happens between me and BF sometimes when we discuss BM. He is under the illusion her cheating, drug abusing years started AFTER they were together. Really? Were you born last night?!! Idiot. So - although what he said to you was upsetting, feel slightly sorry for him (but don't let him know that!) - he's trying to stroke his damaged ego. Imagine an ex of yours from the past who you are slightly ashamed to admit you dated!! But... to discuss the texting other chicks while he is with you. I would be majorly upset too. As another poster said, men are not mind-readers... so communicate with him. You aren't being irrational when you ask a partner to respect your @#%ing relationship by NOT talking to other girls. Isn't that the point of a relationship? To be with one person - love them, honor them, respect them... I don't remember hearing that texting some stupid FATE slut comes with the relationship territory. Threaten his manhood and tell him FATE slut will have no interest when he has to fish it out of the kitchen sink!! Ha, ha.
I can honestly say that he
I can honestly say that he harbors no shame for dating this girl. They went out on 4 dates before she told him and that was it.
I asked him last night about what if she didn't have herpes and he told me that we would have never met.
Did he really say that??!
Did he really say that??! That would have hurt my feelings and we would have been in a screaming match
Yes he really said that. I
Yes he really said that.
I think the only thing he harbors dissappointment that she had herpes and now he's stuck with second best.
EWoooooooooooooo no that is
EWoooooooooooooo no that is soooo not okay you deserve way better then that
UNhappy, I know you have a
UNhappy,
I know you have a lot invested in this man, but one of the reasons we all ask for advice on here, is to get honest uncensored advice from those that are not in our day to day lives, as to be unbiased . Please take my hard learned lessons, as so you don't have to learn them as many times about men as I have. If this man can look at you, the woman, who has loved him, been loyal, and apperantly from what I gather, care for his child or children, and tell you that if this girl would never have had an std, he would not be with you? It does not matter what sunshine he blows up your butt from here to sunday, HE IS NOT COMPLETELY & TOTALLY dedicated and in love with you, & from what I've read YOU DESERVE better, IT IS NEVER GOING TO GET BETTER with this man.
From what I know of men, this man sounds like a coward whom knows how much you have done for him, is too ashamed to leave you, so he has gotten to the point where saying things like that, & how georgous this woman is, and taking into consideration, all the other women txting him, he is waiting for YOU to break it off! I pretty much guarentee that he is already at the very least having an emotional affair if he has not already crossed that physical line!
Please!leave this man, nothing will ever get better,,,, I know you are rehersing all the buts and what ifs in your head, but after reading all your posts I'm pretty sure that most women with a life of experience with men, if they were honest would tell you the same thing I am.
Further more, you know that sick twisted thing he is doing right now, to make you think you are the crazy, insecure GF, right now? that is his guilt, that he is putting onto you, I have been there so many times.
I found out 2 men I was with for more than 4 yrs each were cheating on me,,,,and I NEVER had as many warning signals as you have had!
But I WILL tell you that there IS a man out there for you that would NEVER dream of treating you this way, and will cherish EVERYTHING about you! I had all but lost hope, and after MANY broken hearts, I found him,,,,and did not have to sacrifice a THING! it is so easy!! our love I mean, our loyalty, our dedication, honesty, just being together it is all so easy to love & be loved by him! Don't get me wrong life is a struggle, and his kids (4 of them) are a struggle, but as far as him & I go WE ARE SOLID! it WILL HAPPEN!
But as well I want to say that , even what I'm saying to you right now, is not a surprise to you,, I'm sure all the people who love you have told you these things already, but even not knowing you, do you want to know how I know for sure that this man is not what God has for you,??? all anyone, or you has to do, is look at your username, and know that you know as well as anyone does, that this is not all there is for you, this man does not deserve you. !
I pray, & hope for comfort for you during this difficult time you are & will be going through, but the decision is your whether, that difficult time, is followed by a time of healing, and a knight in shining armour standing at the end of the road, or if you will choose to stay, and I promise he will either leave or you will sacrifice your future, settling for less than true pure love!
Good luck girl, I wish the best for you!
Then he had the nerve last
Then he had the nerve last night to call me orange county. That's how he explains his ex wife to people. Always wanting live the life of being rich. I don't even know where is came from but I am sure as hell not that person. That was pretty much the end of our conversation. I got up told him I was done walked into the house, into our room, grabbed his pillows off the bed, set them out in the hallway and locked the bedroom door. I still can't believe he put me in the classification that he puts his ex in.
Now he's texting me trying to
Now he's texting me trying to justify his little comment of if she didn't have herpes we would have never met. He's telling me yay it was mean but it's true.
What about an appology?
^^agree And to be honest, I
^^agree
And to be honest, I give Herpes Girl a lot of credit for disclosing the information 4 dates in, and giving him the choice to deal w/that info as he saw fit. Could be worse... you could be swimming in her virus right now.
Why does he keep saying the
Why does he keep saying the wrong thing lol. About I am sorry I hurt your feeling I am glad I missed out on her because that led me to you and I couldnt be happier?????
Okay, so let's wrap this up
Okay, so let's wrap this up and put a pretty bow on it-- he basically admitted that he would rather be w/her if it weren't for the herpes, now he's backpedaling. F*** that. I would be livid if my boyfriend ever insinuated that he would RATHER be w/somebody else than me. Yeah, I'm no dummy-- I know that if things had worked out b/w him and his WIFE, then OBVIOUSLY he & I never would have met, LMAO. However, things DIDN'T work out b/w them; he doesn't REGRET that things didn't work out b/w them (except insofar as the kids are concerned, obviously it would be ideal for THEM for their parents to be together & happy); and most importantly, he generally NEVER has anything good to say about her, especially nothing about her LOOKS (she's a horse-faced piece of white trash anyway,) or anything that would make me feel remotely inferior to her. If he did-- he knows exactly where the door is.
Oh he said that after he told
Oh he said that after he told me yay I know it's mean but it's true and I still haven't gotten an appology.
I just don't even know what
I just don't even know what to think at the moment. I am at complete lose for words. The only response he has been getting from me via text is bite me. But no worries, when he found out that I had found a site to vent on he tracked it down and then read through the enteries until he found one of my posts and knew it was me, so he'll be reding all this later if not now. I know he checks the site regularly to see what I have been saying.
Hello and welcome, pal!
Hello and welcome, pal!
Seems to me your SO needs to
Seems to me your SO needs to think before he speaks because from where I am sitting he has made massively insensitive, hurtful comments to you regardless of his actually intention - does he know how it sounds?!!!
Sounds like you are second best and who wants to be the runner up?!!!
I had an occasion where my b*tch of a SIL gave my mobile phone number to some drunken junkie (she denies it although said junkie told me who gave this number to him) and he was texting me inappropriate things. I rang him and put him straight - that I was married to SIL brother and that if he continued texting me I would report him to the police for harassment. I did this because I love my husband, respect him and would never put myself in situation where he could potentially question whether I wanted to be with him. Your SO's actions have done the opposite. He needs to grow up, this ego boost to him has hurt you.
I am going to be blunt and apologise in advance if what I say is hurtful to you - your SO should have told this girl immediately that she had the wrong number, when she continued and he realised she was no friend of his - he should have told her he was taken and to stop texting or he would block her/report her. SO should have wanted to do this without you directing his responses!!! The fact this wasnt his immediate reaction is worrying, adding in the "gorgeous" commentary, and inconsistent story leds me to think he is either trying to make you jealous and insecure to boost his confidence, isnt sure of your relationship and or is cheating on you, or is just plain thoughtless! :O
I am so glad he reads this
I am so glad he reads this because now he will see all of us posting saying how wrong he was. Now he will know it was just your mood
well that is annoying! you
well that is annoying! you have no privacy if he is checking a website where you come to vent so he doesn't get the brunt of your anger- he should be happy you post on here- not stalk what you have to say!
and anyway, maybe once he reads what an idiot he is he will come to his senses, apologize to you for being an asshole and block herpes girl's number.
Herpes girl is not the one
Herpes girl is not the one that's texting. She's just a gorgeous girl that he dated before we met that apprently he'd be with right now if it weren't for her flamming red open sores. The drunk girl in the blue dree is the one that texted last week and another girl that he had dated before he met me was the one that texted him last night.
"he basically admitted that
"he basically admitted that he would rather be w/her if it weren't for the herpes"
And this is what he just doesn't get. Of course he'll flip it and be like I didn't mean it like that. I already see that coming. But the truths out there now isn't it SO.
well since he will be joining
well since he will be joining us maybe we should ask him the questions.... why the a$$hole behavior? Theres someone for everyone and apperently youre not the one for her so why not leave and allow her to find someone who will number 1 RESPECT her and love her the way she deserves to be loved. As for you unhappy, Love yourself more and walk away know that you do not deserve this if hes doing this in your face you can only imagine what he does behind youre back.
I never not trusted him
I never not trusted him before but I am not happy that apprently there was more to the conversation with the drunk girl in the blue dress then he admitted to me at first. He told me that his response to her stating the drunken blue dress thing was something along the lines of telling her that he has a fiance and that was it, there was no more texting betweent he 2 of them. So at what point in time did he find out she was not a high school girl and when did she text the fate thing?
This does lead me to wonder just how much I should trust him.
so the girl in the blue dress
so the girl in the blue dress he met out somewhere and she told him she was in high school? i'm confused. and how the hell did she get his number after to be texting him?
And why did he wait until he
And why did he wait until he got to work to text her?
It all sounds too
It all sounds too fishy....
nothing makes sense and for him to tell you the things he has it only leads you to believe that he will push you to the side the minute a "gorgeous" girl shows up in his life (as long as she doesnt have herpes :sick: ) you deserve so much better than this.... how was your relationship before the text?
The girl in the blue dress
The girl in the blue dress apparently was trying to text another guy that just happened to be at the high school whenever she was there and texted SO by mistake.
^^doesn't answer how she had
^^doesn't answer how she had SO's # though... and sounds like bullshit to me, anyway...
So obviously he had enough
So obviously he had enough conversation with her to realize this was the girl in the blue dress... :O
He told me that when he sent
He told me that when he sent her a text asking who this was that she responded with, "I was the drunk girl with a blue dress on at the high school."
I don't know how she got his number. I assumed she misdialed or maybe the guy that she interested in had given her a another number instead of his own.
But with that said, How did SO find out that she was not a high school girl and when did she text him about the fate thing and why the hell was he texting this chick at all?
what is even more amazing is
what is even more amazing is that out of ALL of the phone number combinations she got your SO's and they just happened to be at the same bar together, on the same night, at the same time and she could be remembered as "the girl in the blue dress". he totally gave that girl his number- there is no fate in that one unhappy- sorry to break it to you. he obviously just didn't remember who it was when she texted him and asked "who is this?"- maybe he did tell her to go away bc perhaps he give his number to her when he was drunk but that is no fate and there was no accident there...think about a regular night out at a bar- you wouldn't remember anyone who was there the same time as you OR what they were wearing. let alone they magically got your digits and texted you. this is WAY TOO FISHY for me.
He doesn't have time to go to
He doesn't have time to go to any bars.
"why the hell was he texting
"why the hell was he texting this chick at all?"
Yes! This^^^
I have received text messages from people I don't know. If I don't know the person, I delete the message & it's done.
If he felt maybe he just needed to clarify who sent the text, he can reply with, "Who is this?". When he realizes it's someone he doesn't know & she misdialed, delete the text & it's done.
No need to go into it farther. No need for details about what she's wearing. A misdial does not = fate. You don't know the person...leave it alone. It's THAT easy!
I am so pissed. He gets a
I am so pissed. He gets a text at 3 am that says I think you're attractive and he feels the need to investigate? And then doesn't divulge all the information as to what transpired during their conversation. Tries to make it seem like she said this and then I said that and that was it. Why even tell me in the first place. WTF! Lets just see how much he likes investigating the couch while he sleeps at night. I'm sure I can find a blue gress some where to throw on it. I can't get it drunk though. Maybe it'll be enough to keep his attention just as long as a gorgeous girl doesn't come along.
He's enjoying the attention,
He's enjoying the attention, plain and simple. He may even be enough of a narcissist to enjoy how upset you're getting over it. Because he's SUCH A PRIZE. *eyeroll* :sick: He's trouble, and an a-hole, and I have ALWAYS said that the majority men are perfectly capable of cheating, all they need is the right opportunity. Well his opportunities are waving like red flags right in your face, and worse yet, he's actually allowing them to happen. Do you guys have kids together? If not, run far, far away.
If this were me I'd not
If this were me I'd not bother with the blocking of numbers; it'd be a change of number completely! All this has clearly praying on your mind and your seeming very insecure (understandably). Men aren't thick and no they aren't mind readers but I'm sure he should be able to see that this is unacceptable. I like the comment about boot on the other foot and rave on about a gorgeous ex yourself but that's may add fuel to the fire? He's clearly touched a nerve and it needs nipping in the bud! Clearly state to him what you find accceptable and what you do! Gorgeous or not, its irrelevant - its the past coming to the present so get him told lass and explain to him how all this has made you feel!
If he loves you and is commited to leaving the past in the past then he will happily change his number. If he doesn't then it says it all........ Good luck. Take the high road and try remain calm xxx
"If this were me I'd not
"If this were me I'd not bother with the blocking of numbers; it'd be a change of number completely! "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I absolutely agree, but it'd be MY number I'd be changing...as I'm packing my bags.
This guy sounds like an ass.
This guy sounds like an ass.
If he has nothing to hide ask
If he has nothing to hide ask to see those text messages... unless he deleted them. But regardless youre right he should not be texting her PERIOD!! He has no respect or consideration whatsoever for your relationship or for you.
I agree with you CONFUSED1020
I agree with you CONFUSED1020 and his phone only holds like 100 texts. Im sure they're gone by now. Why would he tell me that he texted her asking her who she was and then not bother to tell me the rest of the conversation they shared?
Any answers for that one ladies?
And he should not be sitting
And he should not be sitting at work texting another women when he's with me bottom line!!!!!
Because he knows that the
Because he knows that the rest of the conversation was an innapropriate one. He told you he texted her to clear his mind on that part but men do not like to get into details when its not to their convinience. I sau you need to put your foot down and have him change his # or wedding is off. No need to bring up the past into a future hes planning with you.
I don't even want to talk to
I don't even want to talk to him. I don't want to go home to him. I don't think that I can trust him.
I think that he told me he texted her because he knew the conversation that took place was wrong so if he told me but didn't tell me everything technically it's not lying and it can clear him of the guilt of doing it behind my back.
I couldnt agree more with
I couldnt agree more with you! I think that is exactly what he did.....I am so sorry but if you cant trust him now you wont trust him after a wedding.
I deleted my previous comment
I deleted my previous comment because it was sort of mean towards somebody I don't even know. I hope you and SO can work things out!
No wonder this guy has so
No wonder this guy has so many exes - he takes joy in saying mean things to the one he is with-
!!! not too bright, ya know?? sorry dear, HUGS
Well, if he is reading this
Well, if he is reading this site then he should know that I believe he owes you several apologies. The worst offence was to refer to you as Orange county though, it demonstrates a lack of respect for you. You can tell him that just because he says these things it does not mean that they are true, you maintain your dignity and if he's not man enough to apologise then he deserves all he gets!
The only thing you need to do
The only thing you need to do about this is forget it ever happened. He called an ex gorgeous. So what? He is a man...they do not think like we do...He obviously think your are more gorgeous because he is marrying you.
He got a strange text message, and he responded out of curiosity. Maybe it was inappropriate, but it is still not that big of a deal.
Forget this whole problem now and move on. This is the only answer.
He may have told you about the text because he felt guilty..but more than likely he told you because to him it was something interesting that happened that day.
Now you have become angry at him over it and angry that he called an ex gorgeous. To us women, this seems logical but to men it screams insecurity.....and they will constantly test you for it.
This is why he has not given you the apology you want. He has found your buttons. He can press this button and get you to act crazy (emotional is the correct term but men call it crazy).
Forget this problem now. You are the coolest, hottest woman your future dh has ever seen and he is so lucky to be with you. If you make yourself believe this, and refuse to acknowledge the other crap, your relationship will be soooo much happier.
When you have a bm and skids to deal with your life is complicated enough. You need to enjoy you fdh and forget this right now.