Isolated and Aggravated
So, this is my intro. My SD is 10. She is a spoiled brat. Her father who is filled with guilt about his divorce (2 years ago) says it's all divorce related. I don't believe it. I think she's always been disrespectful (and his long term friends agreed) Of course, the divorce caused her pain, which I feel bad for her about..but these issues go beyond that. She interrupts our conversations, she talks back CONSTANTLY, she calls her dad by his FIRST NAME, not Dad, she tells me that it's her dad's house, not mine. Some days she is really sweet, but then the next day she's like a monster. I don't have that unconditional biological mom experiences and memories to fall back on when she's terrible. Her Dad can't grasp that it's different for me. I have been so nice to this child and sometimes she is great, but mostly disrespectful, mouthy brat. She throws tantrums like a toddler. She's TEN!! I feel alone. When I try to talk to her Dad, he just says "she's just a kid" and makes excuses about the divorce, etc. We took her on a trip for a holiday and she ruined it with her rude, disrespectful behavior. She is ungrateful, materialistic and selfish. I've tried to teach her about charity and donating things..she's not interested. Sometimes I think there's nothing inside..no GENUINE emotion. The parents are always telling her how pretty and great she is. I think they're raising a little narcissist. I have no one to talk to. I feel isolated. On top of that, they speak in a foreign language that I don't understand..like they're in their own world. The Mom is a bitch and the dad kisses her butt (to keep the peace for the child) and it makes me lose respect for him. I don't have kids and No..that's not why I feel this way (that's what all his friends tell him) I worked with kids for years and they are not ALL like this. She's needy, clingy and ungrateful. When she's nice, she's nice, but it still hurts to be constantly reminded that I'm NOT her Mom when she goes on and on about her Mom.
It just reinforces the fact that I don't have kids (which, quite frankly, I'm not so sure I made a mistake on that one now) LOL
Sorry for the ramble...I'm just ready to throw in the towel. I know there are few guys in their early 40's that our childless, but this is just so stressful. I don't know if I want all this hassle. I'm child free and can do whatever I want. I do love her Dad though, but I can only see this situation getting worse and worse as she gets closer to TEENAGER.... sigh
In my first rant I forgot to
In my first rant I forgot to mention the facts. We've been together just over a year and I've been living with them six months.
We get her for an ENTIRE week and then she goes back to her mom for a week.
No, all kids are not like
No, all kids are not like that. Just the ones who are raised like that.
You must problem solve with your dh. He must be concerned about your feelings, value your opinion, and be open to your ideas. Same goes for you. It may not be painless but once you get to the other side your feelings for each other should actually increase. There is no way you can make this relationship work by sucking it up all the time. You will explode one day. Start tackling it now in a loving but brave way. How your sweetheart responds will tell you if this is the right relationship for you.
I exploded yesterday, which
I exploded yesterday, which is what led me here lol
I moved into his..the same
I moved into his..the same house his ex lived in, even the same gdamn bed sheets ( I threw away) Lol Our relationship was better than before living together. He and the mom do the parenting. I only come into it when she's very rude to me. Her Mom told the child that she hates me (she doesn't even know me) She talks badly about me to my guy and to the child. I never say a negative word about her Mom and wouldn't. I'd say that qualifies as bitch. Also she was very rude to me on the few times we did meet.
A lot of the problems stem
A lot of the problems stem from the fact that Dad knows he got into a relationship too soon after the divorce. Kid didn't even land from the divorce yet, and Dad is dating someone else. Of course he knows this so he makes up for it negatively. So even if he was a good dad she would be acting out.
Dad has moved way too fast
Dad has moved way too fast for the kid. In two years she has had to deal with her parents getting a divorce and dad's new girlfriend moving in.
Of course that is no excuse for her bad behavior. However, parents have to take things slow and think about how their actions impact their children.
yes. I do sympathize with the
yes. I do sympathize with the child. Her Mom is engaged
WOW
WOW
Yes, it's all of them. I
Yes, it's all of them. I walked into a mess and I am supposed to take it all like a champ - that sucks. I didn't make this mess.
It is very hard. When she's not there, our relationship is much much better. If I left, I think our relationship would be done for him. It's not like this every day, but too often.
Well, if he's not interested
Well, if he's not interested in fixing the problems you're having if you stay, and he's not interested in having a relationship with you if you leave... I'm not seeing why he's such a catch? He sounds like a lazy parent and a lazy partner.
Life can be difficult. Which is when grown-ups work to overcome challenges. And when people who haven't grown up give up, complain, make excuses and pass the buck.
Agree with Wickedsm123. Run
Agree with Wickedsm123. Run as fast as you can because he's not worth it. You deserve someone better. He'll never clean his mess and the ugly princess will continue to get uglier. Run!!!
A.